To feel anxiety about cancer

[Grasshopper12]

I suppose it's not exactly something anyone feels positive about. I just think of Deborah James, Sarah Harding and others, diagnosed with terminal cancer in their 30s, having led previously healthy lives. Why should they have died? I don't understand why they couldn't have been saved, they were so young and healthy.
I just feel scared that this could happen to anyone, at any time. Whenever I get a stomach pain I feel anxiety about it being cancer.
I know the odds are very low statistically but the '1 in 3 of us will get cancer in our lifetime' ads do not help.
I'm in my early 30s and can name several schoolmates whose parents have died of cancer now, and they were in their 50s and 60s.
How do I stop living with this anxiety?

You seek medical help for your anxiety.

Hi, I am in my thirties too and have had severe health anxiety about cancer- used to be at the doctors every week with symptoms. I had a cancer scare a few years ago and my mum has been diagnosed with cancer this year and it's triggering my anxiety quite bad. I have found CBT quite useful for health anxiety. One thing I have learned about cancer is treatments are rapidly evolving and there is every reason to believe it will just become a chronic condition in the future. My mum is coping very well with her diagnosis and says you just get on with it when it happens

Perhaps it would help to come to terms with the fact that you will die and you have no control over it. Any pain you suffer with illness at least you know you will eventually get a reprieve

I'm really sorry to hear about your Mum and hope she's well soon.
Yeah, I think the fact that it's so hard to see a GP these days adds to my anxiety. It's just phone appointments, you hear so many stories of people's cancer being discovered too late because they weren't able to see a GP or their symptoms were dismissed.

I accept the fact that I'll die, but I don't want it to happen so young, to me or to anyone I know. 30s isn't a time to go.

I am the same.

however cancer is only so common due to how we live now. Shit diet, alcohol, smoking, air pollution, artificial fragrance, plastic clothes, not enough exercise, water full of hormones. It feels inevitable. Control what you can control (good, organic diet, less chemicals at home, exercise) and live your life.

I have anxiety about this too. That said, I'm a BRCA2 carrier, so 70% chance of breast cancer in my lifetime. Compared to the average woman, 12%. Does that help with some perspective?

Remember OP, it’s rarely splashed all over the news when someone survives cancer.

I had breast cancer 4 years ago.

There are far worse illnesses than cancer (dementia, MND & others), so in some ways cancer would be a relief - at least you know that you'll either recover or die, so it's fairly straightforward.
But we'll all die of something, so better just to make the most of life while we can and not waste our time fearing something that might never happen.

The thing is OP none of us are guaranteed tomorrow. I had cancer 8 years ago and I know this sounds morbid but what put things into perspective for me is how many people in the last 8 years have died. Some have been people I know, others just what you hear about on the news or read about in the papers. Healthy people die every day. You might get cancer or you might not so is it really worth worrying about something that may or may not happen. Also remember that cancer treatments are improving all the time and they are discovering new drugs. I believe that in time cancer will be classed as a chronic condition rather than a life threatening disease.

If you really cannot stop worrying about this then you need to seek professional help.

Why? It’s a perfectly normal fear and not entirely unwarranted. I know a handful of people that have died at a young age from cancer, it’s awful. I do think the incessant media coverage and ‘raising awareness’ has now reached tipping point and is just making people spiral into health anxiety though. I sometimes wonder if it was better before we had the internet.

Cuppasoup - Because if it's affecting the OP's quality of life and the thought of dying from cancer or getting cancer is all consuming then she needs professional help.

I have developed an irrational fear of cancer and I think it originates because you can't escape it in the media . It's everywhere , harrowing stories of people dying .

I’m 37 and going through treatment for stage 2B breast cancer. It’s shit, but I’m not going to die of this. My mum also had the same type of breast cancer in her 30s, she’s still here 30 odd years on with no recurrence. I have three good friends who had cancer young and are still here. My neighbour has stage 4 cancer that is being controlled by drugs to the point she has no evidence of disease right now and you would never know - she says herself she feels fine. You don’t hear about any of us though and I agree, the “raising awareness” is a lot and if you look at/follow any of it online you’ll be shown more and more and more because the algorithm thinks that’s what you want to see. As an anxious person myself (I had something else I fixated on though) I found CBT very helpful for this kind of thing ❤️

I have anxiety and have had the exact same thoughts recently. Cancer seems like it’s everywhere for me at the moment.

But it’s important to remember that the statistic of 1 in 2 sounds scarier than it is - we are living longer and can cure lots of other diseases that would have killed us instead in the past. It is still rare for someone as young as SH etc to die from cancer. Tragic, but rare. The highest incidences are in the over 70s.

Obviously I can’t tell you that you won’t get cancer, but worrying about it won’t change it (unhelpful I know!) but do seek help for your anxiety if you can. Because that can be very effectively treated, see your GP, get on some meds if needed. It WILL make a massive difference to how you see these things, I promise.

Thanks everyone. Maybe I should speak to a professional, I think it's just as I followed Deborah as a lot of us did, and I can't get my head around why a healthy woman in her late 30s couldn't be cured.

My dad died of cancer at 45. I was 18. My granddad died of cancer at 77, I was 20.
I was also a hospice NA and cared for people of all ages dying from cancer.

Sometimes I get waves of anxiety about it or worry that I may have some undiagnosed cancer lurking somewhere. But the thing is, we don't often hear about the people who survive cancer.
Although it is not pleasant to have, not everyone will die from it.

Don’t waste your life worrying about things OP. It’s really not worth it. There are many other diseases that could cause you concern. Life is too short. Live for today. Very best wishes to you.

I’m the exact same and I know others who are too!
I am not anxious in any other part of my life, but I have had full breakdowns - not being able to breathe and everything spinning, vomiting violently as I’ve convinced myself I’m ill and that’s it over.

The last episode was because I was convinced it was an aggressive form of skin cancer. my GP said it’s dermatitis and banned me from googling symptoms

@Cuppasoupmonster it isn’t normal for such fear to take over your life. To be terrified that every symptom could be a sign of untreatable cancer.
It IS normal to be aware of your health,look after yourself and seek medical advise if you have a real symptom that needs investigating.

I’ve lost every member of my family to bowel cancer so I know there’s a very good chance I’ll be diagnosed / die with it at some point. And I used to be absolutely terrified of that and in some ways I always will be but since I was 37 I’ve been diagnosed with all sorts of chronic long term health issues including lupus and Addisons and it’s made me realise cancer would actually be just “another thing” to worry about. Any of the things I live with could kill me. And I guess you could say that for any of us - in some ways. Get in a car, eat junk food, even walking along a busy road etc all carries risks but we do them because we want to live our lives and none of us can predict the path our lives will take. So if you spend your whole time worrying about everything that might happen anyway you’ll just worry twice really.

She wasn’t healthy though - she had cancer. And I don’t mean that to sound facetious at all, but lots of people are otherwise healthy apart from the one condition they have that can’t be cured. And the utter randomness of it all sucks. I have a real fear of cancer but I try not to let it overwhelm me. Instead, I approach it from the perspective of actually being really lucky to have had the years I’ve had so far. 200 years ago, average life expectancy was just over 40!

My parents died of cancer in their 60s but it's not really something I give headspace to. I'm likely to get it and will deal with it then.

Dying relatively young (60s/70s) has some positive aspects. No dementia or Alzheimer's for adult children to deal with. No years going gaga in a nursing home.

Sad for the ones left behind.

One in two of us (born after 1960) will get cancer but its important to remember that more and more people are surviving it. I had cancer nearly 9 years ago, in my 30s. I'm still here, yes I fear recurrence but as far as I know, I'm fine now - touch wood. You're focusing on those who die, what about those who survive? Life has always been fragile and uncertain. Having cancer has taught me to appreciate each day, each moment and not to take life for granted.