Office kissing

[Sunsetintheeast]

I’m not talking snogging here, just the ‘goodbye, happy Christmas’ peck on the cheek that I don’t want from my male work colleagues.

I really don’t wish for my colleagues to invade my personal space.

I told the last one that came swooping in - no thanks I’m avoiding human contact and laughed (but meant it).
AIBU?

I love my work colleagues (male and female) and we're all close but I just tell everyone "I don't do hugs, not even my nan, don't take it personally!" and no-one does.
Zero problem.

I think the message is getting out to mine!

I've never considered a goodbye Christmas hug or kiss even with collegaues that came to my wedding. Its a few days off, two weeks at most. No need for dramatics.

You must know you can't possibly be unreasonable to have your own personal boundaries?

Lol, people have got the message about trying to hug me by now 🤣

Your body your decision.

I'm glad this would never happen at my work! But if it did I'd just say a polite "No thanks, I'm not a hugger"

Just say ‘ Sorry! I’m not a hugger - have a lovely Christmas’

I always hug and kiss my colleagues when we finish for Christmas ( men and woman ) but I know them all really well so I’m aware of who likes it and who doesn’t. If I knew they didn’t like a hug I would just wish them a Merry Christmas and leave it at that.

Is it just the men you don’t like doing it?

I suppose it is more the men, but then I work mainly with men.

I think it’s almost the social awkwardness of Will they, won’t they. And if they do I’m really not feeling it.

I just wish everyone would just stop it! I only really hug and kiss people I love or really like. Most of the men in my office don’t get close to that!

Ha ha don’t be ridiculous! It’s not that in the slightest. It’s more that social convention seems to be that men shake hands with each other, but they air kiss women. I’m pretty much the only woman, so they all dive in!
I’m sure they all feel like one big family, but I don’t.

happy you managed to think of an insult though, wouldn’t be mumsnet without that 🙄

My current workplace is much more huggy and kissy than I'm used to, but not the men. It's the women, the men still keep boundaries.

Everyone knows it's not for me. They think I'm a bit odd, but they don't do it to me.

One of silver lining aspects of Covid was that people stopped this nonsense. I really hate hand shakes, hugs and kissing unless it's with very particular people. I mean if you both like it, fine. But just acknowledge that some people really, really don't and just leave them alone. They're not odd for wanting their space. You are odd for invading it when you know this.

I am the opposite, sometimes I see the men a bit awkward like should they offer their hand for a handshake or wave or hug, I usually say "ah come 'ere and give me a hug!" I am a hugger so I don't mind.
I am lucky that I like all the men I work with and they are either gay or happily married so no awkward sexual connotations.

Ah you're one of them. You know these people feel awkward about it, but you make them do it anyway, firm in your belief that you're doing a nice thing.

I used to have a lot of French and Dutch colleagues. Hated it! If I’m ever in that situation again, I’ll make my feelings known from the off. I quite like people, generally. I’m not socially awkward. I just don’t like hugging or kissing people I work with.

Oh bloody hell yes. About 15 years ago I worked for a Swiss company. 4 kisses EACH before we started work. Board meeting didn’t start til lunchtime (I exaggerate). In a way that was easier as everyone was kissing everyone, but I’d still much rather not.

And yes @W0tnow i like people and I’m sociable, I just don’t need to touch them!

Christ. I hate “huggers”. They don’t give a fuck about anyone else’s personal boundaries. I step back when people like you do this, and put a hand out in a stop signal.

I work for a french company so had to get used to it quickly! UK based people don't tend to do it to each other, but when I meet up with overseas colleagues (not just the French ones) they tend to. And they wonder why we all picked up COVID at a company conference...

I am the opposite, sometimes I see the men a bit awkward like should they offer their hand for a handshake or wave or hug, I usually say "ah come 'ere and give me a hug!" I am a hugger so I don't mind.

And this is the problem with huggers - since they don't mind, they assume you don't either when the reality is that hugging is actually quite horrible and very invasive for you. That hanging back might not be thinking 'I want a hug, I'm not sure if they do'. It could very well be 'I want to get out of here without anyone touching me but they'll try and think I'm rude to say no'.

Just stay the fuck away. I really hate being touched by randoms. I don't care whether you mind or not. I bloody do.

I live in France.. I hate it.. we have lots of expat friends and I think most of don't really feel comfortable... the worst is when we don't know whether to offer 2 or 3 kisses and body hug or not.

Peck on the cheek with office mates? Ugh.

I work in an industry of very touchy feely people and I just say “Ahhh sorry - not a hugger/kisser, but I’ll gladly shake your hand” and no one seems to mind at all. But I sooooo get it OP!

Noooooo. I feel sick at the thought of that. My colleagues know not to touch/try to kiss me after I told them my fella needs to book an appointment to touch me 😁