odd comment?

[mummaoftwox]

Have a family groupchat with DHs family. We were talking about christmas gifts, and MIL mentioned she bought me a second gift, i thanked her and said it was not necessary but i appreciate it dearly. She then said it was necessary because of how much i do for her, referring to attending consultations/chasing down her gp/ helping her with work stuff & other things. Her niece lives abroad, thus isn't present for christmas.

Niece went on to make a comment stating "very nice of you, because other people don't do very much for you, do they?" bit odd this comment, no?

Felt a bit weird being in the conversation, but decided not to say anything and go about my day.

Sounds like the niece thought you MIL was having a dig at her family members. And to be honest, what she said might have been better said privately than on the family chat.

It's not odd, it's a passive aggressive response indicating that she believes other people do a lot for your mother in law besides you.

Depends if other people do a lot for her too.

If niece does help her out, her nose may have been pushed out of joint of she feels her nan is ungrateful.

If nobody does anything to help, it will have been her being defensive.

Need the bigger picture really.

Yup

I mean what your MIL said to you would have been better sad privately.

I don’t think it is an odd comment at all, I think it is quite clear that niece didn’t appreciate MIL’s comments.

Sounds like it’s between the two of them and you should keep well out of it

Niece offended that yr MIL singled you out for thanks. Maybe she feels she (or someone else) also helps and deserves equal gratitude. Maybe she feels guilty.

i understand all these comments and it's not to sound like a brat, or like i'm better than anyone. i'm a sahm so whenever MIL calls for a favour, because she doesn't speak english or doesn't understand technology, i'll do it for her. generally i do everything that she's unable to do, because her DH is at work and my DH is at work, the rest of their family live abroad back in their country, so the only person that helps her with her daily activities is me, i don't think she meant it maliciously, moreso as a gesture of thank you for the fact that i've helped her a lot, especially in the last month, with her having needed helping attending 5/6 hospital appointments and me needing to cancel plans, (which i was happy to do!) but i do get, maybe the comment should've been said in private. i'm not going to look to into at just leave them to sort it out between themselves!! thank you

Do you really feel it’s odd or are you being disingenuous?

it’s clear irrelevant of where they live others are doing things for your mil. There was no need for her to inform everyone she’d bought you a second gift and why on the group chat.

that’s where the passive aggressive started with mil

Stay out of it.