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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Door left unlocked

10 replies

DorisParchment · 21/12/2022 16:48

My mother died a few months ago, and a friend in the village is keeping an eye on the house, forwarding post etc. She has one key, I have two, and Joan next door has one. I live overseas.

When we went back for the funeral, I found that the back door had been left unlocked. It wasn’t my friend, as she didn’t have a key at that point, so it had to be Joan. Joan denied all knowledge and said she hadn’t been in, but then admitted she had given her key to Maureen down the road to check on the house. I read her the riot act and said not to let Maureen go in, even with good intentions, as she hadn’t locked the door.

My friend has visited twice recently and on both occasions has found the door unlocked. Joan has vehemently denied that either she or Maureen have been in. Obviously I’ve no way of proving this, or the existence of another key, although I had the originals cut. I am quite sure my Mum hadn’t given the key to anyone else. I am now going to have to have the locks changed, and fly back specifically to do this. I’m contemplating CCTV as well.

AIBU to feel quite unsettled by this? Joan had the key for emergencies when my Mum was alive, so I don’t plan on giving her another key. My Mum also couldn’t stand Maureen, and certainly wouldn’t want her snooping about.

OP posts:
Anewuser · 21/12/2022 16:52

Not sure what your AIBU but someone else may have key.

You don’t need to come back to arrange the locks being changed. There must be someone you trust to oversee a reliable/trustworthy locksmith.

Have a ring doorbell installed and you can keep an eye on the place then.

girlmom21 · 21/12/2022 16:54

Redirect the post with Royal Mail and just change the back lock. Can your friend do that for you? It's a tenner max for a lock from B&Q.

What are you intending to do with the house?

DorisParchment · 21/12/2022 16:54

I meant to put it in Chat. 🤦🏼‍♀️

I could ask my friend but I don’t want to inconvenience her. I don’t know anyone else in the village.

OP posts:
DorisParchment · 21/12/2022 16:55

The house will be cleared and sold after probate.

OP posts:
44PumpLane · 21/12/2022 17:00

A true friend will not see this request as an inconvenience. Especially if it comes with no demanded timeline.

So of you asked me, I might not be able to get to it until next week give the current date, but I'd certainly be able to sort it within the week for you and it would be no trouble.

Mentalpiece · 21/12/2022 17:03

If they only have the key to one door say the back door and you have the key to both doors, then put a bolt on the back door.

IScreamAtMichaelangelos · 21/12/2022 17:05

Can your friend ask Joan for the key back? Or ask Joan to give it to your friend and mention that you're getting CCTV installed as you're so worried about the door being unlocked. One way or another that will stop this.

mumda · 21/12/2022 17:38

Change the lock. Tell no one.

Princessglittery · 21/12/2022 18:37

Your friend is as concerned as you about the unlocked door as it implicates her should there be a break in/things go missing.

Get the lock changed ASAP and a ring doorbell fitted. A good locksmith will do both and your friend can supervise. She will probably be as relieved as you to have this done.

Note: It could invalidate the house insurance if you knew the door was being repeatedly left unlocked and didn’t know by whom; and you don’t know 100% who has a key.

Remember Joan has said she gave Maureen the key once, that was an opportunity for Maureen to get a copy cut which Joan doesn’t know about. Maureen could have then shared that or let anyone in.

I would be concerned that someone is slowly going through your Mums possessions and paperwork, I’m assuming you have taken any valuables.

DorisParchment · 21/12/2022 19:49

All valuables and paperwork have been removed. I’m going to ask my friend to call a locksmith and see if she can get the locks changed in the next couple of weeks. Ring doorbell is also a good idea.

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