Anyone else fed up of making all the effort with siblings?

[Dumbledormer]

Just feeling a bit down today. Two siblings. One DB who is married with two girls and one DSIS who has a partner and no children yet. All in our thirties and a couple of hours away from each of them. There are high expectations from my DB for effort to be made to visit him and his family and for expensive gifts to be given but pretty much zero reciprocal effort made back. DSIS has no expectations and is always happy to see us if we want to visit which is lovely but there is no desire from her part to see each other and it’s always me that is texting/arranging meet-ups. I suppose I feel as though I am always the one making the effort to have a relationship but neither of them are that bothered. I’m getting to where I’m wondering if I’m wasting my time and should just take a step back from trying so hard. Anyone else had this with their siblings?

YANBU. It sounds like your brother is a bit entitled with the expensive expectations. I think especially with siblings though we can get stuck in certain roles without really thinking about it. It might be that your sister really values time with you but just takes it for granted that you'll arrange it. Not saying it's OK but might not be conscious or deliberate.

Yes I have had this - I just ignore both of them now, it’s never occurred to either of them to keep in touch. Totally NC now.

There are high expectations from my DB for effort to be made to visit him and his family and for expensive gifts to be given but pretty much zero reciprocal effort made back.

Why on earth are you obliging the entitled CF? A box of Celebrations is the extent of what I'd be giving, or just match his effort.

Why not just mention it outright? They are siblings, surely you can have a frank conversation. And if they just say they can't be bothered, then you know!