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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

oh no, a micro-manager...AIBU to write back a cheeky response....

101 replies

justhereforthecraic · 21/12/2022 13:01

My boss emailed my team this morning and requested the location of a document. Easily sorted, My colleague kindly emailed her back with the document attached as she had used it recently. My boss then asked if this could be "re-jigged" to include one more item ( which she listed). I like creative tasks so I replied saying i would happily play around with it to which all agreed. My colleague was delighted for it to be out of her hands as she was busy dealing with an emergency so thanked me for helping!

I did as requested by my boss and even made the document more "user-friendly". My colleagues all replied back when I sent it to them and agreed it was perfect and we moved on with our day. Our little team is usually good at coming together on tasks like this and we like to get things signed off quickly.

However, I've just had an email from my boss saying she has made a few small amendments to the document. I went into look at it and I barely recognize the document. She deleted 80% of what I had written and added in her ideas. I really want to respond and say, WOW where is the document I created and why did you bother agreeing to me doing it and then changing it ?!?!?! but that's not professional...

AIBU to write something back....if so what could I say that would get the point across without being rude or cheeky or should I just say nothing and move on with my day.

OP posts:
Original poster
justhereforthecraic · 21/12/2022 13:59

Palomabalom · 21/12/2022 13:46

It’s really up to her. You sound a bit too sure of yourself and conceited about the quality of your work. I’ve received documentation drafts that need revision and if it’s required it gets changed. No egos involved.

@Palomabalom As a line manager myself, there is a way of doing things. If i had asked my team to do something and i didn't agree, i would speak to them with some developmental feedback e.g what went well....but EVEN BETTER if... add in suggestions

I wouldnt say im sure of myself. Complete opposite i would think. Given the post on mumsnet about it, I would say im border-line anxious about it. Ive sent her an email so will see what her feedback is , if any

OP posts:
Sunsetintheeast · 21/12/2022 14:00

Ocrumbs · 21/12/2022 13:52

If a document has been drafted but it could be better or isn't how the manager envisioned it I don't see why they shouldn't re do it

Show quote history

lump it isn't managing. That's the manager job. Communication concerning tasks and improvement of the teams ability to carry them out is part of that. If the document needed that degree of change then there should have been communication about why and what shortfalls there were. As I say lump it, isn't doing that.

DailyMailReporterTellMeAllYourSecrets · 21/12/2022 14:02

I had this recently. I was asked to do proper verbatim minutes for a 2 hour meeting. Luckily our meetings our recorded so it really helps to get them accurate. Anyway, the chair was happy and said she was fine to send them out. Then, an external person got her hands on them and said ‘oh I think it should just be action points really’. The chair immediately backed down and something that had taken me 2 hours and was originally signed off had to be re-done. There will be some frosty looks next time I see her. Every time I email her she now gets ‘regards’ not ‘kind regards’ 😆 😆

CruCru · 21/12/2022 14:02

I used to work for someone who was like this. He just preferred to have things written in his style.

I have no idea whether the document was up to scratch or not. The OP said that it was so I am going to choose to believe her. If it was okay then rewriting it (even if it made it a bit better) meant the OP and / or her manager wasted some time. There are times when done is better than perfect.

The problem is, it is quite a rare workplace that actually trains or teaches managers on how to manage. They usually promote someone who is good at a thing (often a technical role) and then are surprised when they aren't magically good at managing those below them.

FeeLock · 21/12/2022 14:02

I don't think you're being unreasonable, however, I think it'd be better to store this information up for another time. If she's the type to re-work an original idea, next time you could go with, "Yes, I'd be happy to do XX. Just so that I'm clear, do you want me to come up with an idea that you can then play around with?" This would give you an idea whether she's a faffer (is what we call managers like this).

NeedToKnow101 · 21/12/2022 14:06

DailyMailReporterTellMeAllYourSecrets · 21/12/2022 14:02

I had this recently. I was asked to do proper verbatim minutes for a 2 hour meeting. Luckily our meetings our recorded so it really helps to get them accurate. Anyway, the chair was happy and said she was fine to send them out. Then, an external person got her hands on them and said ‘oh I think it should just be action points really’. The chair immediately backed down and something that had taken me 2 hours and was originally signed off had to be re-done. There will be some frosty looks next time I see her. Every time I email her she now gets ‘regards’ not ‘kind regards’ 😆 😆

😂😂😂 love that passive aggression 😍

Original poster
justhereforthecraic · 21/12/2022 14:07

Bunnyfuller · 21/12/2022 13:11

Grow up ffs!

Thank you for your helpful reply! are you suggesting I reply what you wrote to my boss? 😜

OP posts:
crisscrosscringle · 21/12/2022 14:08

@EsmeSusanOgg of course else I wouldn't have been able to reflect on what I was like as a new manager- lots of years ago now.

Let's not forget though that on MN managers are evil and always in the wrong Envy

RegularNameChangerVersion21 · 21/12/2022 14:08

YANBU. I've worked with people like that and it's frustrating. GIven that this is AIBU though lots of people will assume you're crazy/lazy/shit at your job rather than take your word for it! I would just ignore it for now and probably be less inclined to offer to do jobs for her (unless it's actually part of your specific job) for her in the future. It's a waste of time to ask for help without giving specific requirements if you only want it done a particular way.

Ocrumbs · 21/12/2022 14:09

Sunsetintheeast · 21/12/2022 14:00

lump it isn't managing. That's the manager job. Communication concerning tasks and improvement of the teams ability to carry them out is part of that. If the document needed that degree of change then there should have been communication about why and what shortfalls there were. As I say lump it, isn't doing that.

Show quote history

The feedback is in the revised document. All OP has to do if she wants to learn what her manager wanted is compare them.

Charley50 · 21/12/2022 14:10

Of course NAMALT, but I'm surprised at the faith,shown in the replies, that managers know what they're doing. Some really don't. They have other skills, as Cru just said, or they've blagged / arselicked their way into the role and just wing until they're found out and then move on.

Chillyweather · 21/12/2022 14:12

Sometimes I have a vague idea of a document and it's only when I see a draught from someone else that I crystallize what I actually want and make huge edits. The first draught landing in my inbox is a critical part of the process and very much appreciated

dworky · 21/12/2022 14:12

midgetastic · 21/12/2022 13:03

Correcting poor work is not micro managing

Looks like we found the culprit!

Tidsleytiddy · 21/12/2022 14:16

I would only expect my written work to be corrected by someone with a degree in English

Sunsetintheeast · 21/12/2022 14:16

Ocrumbs · 21/12/2022 14:09

The feedback is in the revised document. All OP has to do if she wants to learn what her manager wanted is compare them.

Show quote history

Yes dear, that’s how it works

snowlolo · 21/12/2022 14:17

Sorry, I think you are overreacting a bit.

It sounds like you took some initiative and did more than was asked with this document (your boss asked for one small change but you rewrote more of it to make it more 'user friendly' is that right?)

Maybe your boss just didn't like the style of what you had done.

As a manager looking at a document that someone has not quite got right, sometimes it is just quicker to edit it yourself than go back to the person and ask them to format it again.

If your main role is customer service, maybe your boss thought they were saving you time by not bouncing it back to you again. She probably has no idea you feel so strongly about it.

Ocrumbs · 21/12/2022 14:18

Sunsetintheeast · 21/12/2022 14:16

Yes dear, that’s how it works

Show quote history

It's what I'd do dear.

Palacepicker · 21/12/2022 14:21

Tidsleytiddy · 21/12/2022 14:16

I would only expect my written work to be corrected by someone with a degree in English

Wow - everyone gets their written work corrected in our team - the boss across to the grad. No one is exempt.

IScreamAtMichaelangelos · 21/12/2022 14:23

Same here, no one is exempt from review (and I write for a living)!

snowlolo · 21/12/2022 14:23

Having posted the above, just wanted to add that I do understand that the 'ideal' way to manage is to go back and teach people, give them feedback etc, but maybe in this case for whatever reason your boss just thought it would be quicker/ thought you wouldn't mind etc. Sometimes it is hard as a manager to find time to do this in every single instance.

I think the best thing would be for you to go to her and say that you were upset when she edited the document rather than giving you feedback. Then perhaps you can both learn from the experience.

Please don't take a passive aggressive approach of just not offering to help anymore, that is not productive, if you don't feed back to your manager what she has done wrong then you are just as bad as her really.

Original poster
justhereforthecraic · 21/12/2022 14:25

snowlolo · 21/12/2022 14:17

Sorry, I think you are overreacting a bit.

It sounds like you took some initiative and did more than was asked with this document (your boss asked for one small change but you rewrote more of it to make it more 'user friendly' is that right?)

Maybe your boss just didn't like the style of what you had done.

As a manager looking at a document that someone has not quite got right, sometimes it is just quicker to edit it yourself than go back to the person and ask them to format it again.

If your main role is customer service, maybe your boss thought they were saving you time by not bouncing it back to you again. She probably has no idea you feel so strongly about it.

we are always encouraged to use our own initiative in our jobs. I think you have missed the point PP. I told my boss that i would have a play around with it. We both obviously work very different. I would never dream of editing something that someone had put time and effort into without letting them know why I was doing it. If you find your way easier, then that's fine. I just find it a bit de-motivational. We can agree to disagree

OP posts:
ColdHandsHotHead · 21/12/2022 14:26

Say nothing. This is typical Crap Manager behaviour, so use it as a learning experience in grinning and bearing Crap Manager's Crap.

SmokeBlackCat · 21/12/2022 14:26

I can understand it’s upsetting but maybe it would be helpful to ask for feedback on the work you did. It might help for next time.

Emotionalsupportviper · 21/12/2022 14:28

If she'd altered 80% of it perhaps there were further changes she thought of, or which only became apparent after you'd re-jigged the document?

Palacepicker · 21/12/2022 14:28

Our standard way to update/modify a doc is through SharePoint and everyone comments on your changes, it's not done in a nasty point-scoring way - it's too public for that - it's done to improve the quality of the document - and all perspectives are valued.

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