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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think if family members / friends give your children presents before Christmas Day it’s fine to open them…

124 replies

ShirleyPhallus · 21/12/2022 11:38

… instead of waiting for Christmas Day?

I thought this would be a unanimous opinion but I’ve seen another thread where lots of posters were saying they make their children wait and open all gifts on Christmas Day with the gift giver on FaceTime

id always let mine open them when they get them, if handed them personally by a family member or friend because:

  1. it gives the gift giver the pleasure of watching the child open the present in person
  2. it spreads things out a bit for the child so they don’t get completely overwhelmed by loads and loads of presents on Christmas Day

my husband and I both have quite large families so doing a “Christmas Day” celebration with part of the family where we exchange gifts and have a roast a week or two early is totally normal

obviously if someone is sending a gift and it arrives before Christmas it’d go under the tree to be opened on Christmas Day

YABU - all Christmas presents should be saved and opened on Christmas day
YANBU - it’s fine to open presents early if the child is with the gift giver

OP posts:
Ncgirlseriously · 21/12/2022 14:08

I think either is fine depending on what your family does? There’s no one size fits all.
My family likes to wait for Christmas- but this year we’re opening some presents on Christmas Eve because that’s when I’m doing my Christmas dinner and I have family visiting.

mondaytosunday · 21/12/2022 14:13

Back when my kids actually got presents from outside the family, that's what we put in their stockings (ridiculously big ones made by my mil - got rid of them as soon as I could. One was over three feet long)! So opened Christmas Day. Then we would send a thank you card.

Sidking · 21/12/2022 14:14

For us it depends on the giver.

We (me & my 2 boys, my OH stays home with our dogs) always go to my parents around Christmas for a couple of days. We have 'mini christmas' one day while we are there where all presents go under the tree and we just pretend it's Christmas day, my brother comes over lots of food/nibbles and open presents. We all want to see each other open presents!

We will see my gran, grandad and uncle over this time too but we don't open their gifts/cards (grandparents put cash in cards, uncle wraps gifts) as they would prefer the kids put them under the tree for Christmas. They refuse to open theirs early too so we leave them under the tree

MrsMiddleMother · 21/12/2022 14:15

I'm all for kids opening gifts when they receive them, it spreads the gift opening out but I do ask the gift giver as some people like them to open the gifts on Christmas day even if they won't be there x

Suedomin · 21/12/2022 14:17

I think it's up to the gift giver. Having said that it's nice if things can be spread out a bit. I always let my children open presents from grandparents when they saw them. Sometimes it was Christmas eve sometimes boxing day or later. It spread Christmas out and they appreciated the presents more.

ohioriver · 21/12/2022 14:31

Santa brought stockings and one "big" presents for mine so I didn't ever have a conflict with the bug man and Christmas Eve deliveries.

ohioriver · 21/12/2022 14:31

*big

shruggingitoff · 21/12/2022 14:33

Santa brings stockings and a couple of big gifts. (Something you want, something you need, something to wear and something to read).

We open presents from Santa in the morning and presents from family after lunch.

Original poster
ShirleyPhallus · 21/12/2022 14:39

GrohlOnAPole · 21/12/2022 14:05

We don’t quite fit into your voting options.

generally, I tell the kids that presents are for Christmas Day and they wait.
The only exception to this is when we have an early “Christmas day” with DH side of the family - we have a meal, and all open our gifts from one another (usually on 23rd/24th).

This is the exact kind of example I’m talking about, ie having an early Christmas with part of the family and exchanging gifts a few days early, would always let them open those presents there and then

OP posts:
BaublesandBangles · 21/12/2022 14:41

Not something I would do. We open all gifts on christmas day.I don't feel the need to watch people open gifts from me.

Ihaveaskedyouthrice · 21/12/2022 14:41

If my kids get presents before Christmas from aunts/uncles etc they always open them there and then. Wouldn't occur to me to keep them until Christmas Day. Likewise any presents we give before Christmas are opened at the time.

TimeForMeToF1y · 21/12/2022 15:04

Lovestodrinkmilk · 21/12/2022 12:21

If I give someoone a gift, I expect them to open it in front of me and tell me they like it. (Whether they do or not). Anything else is incredibly rude. If someone says they'll save it for Xmas day it tells me: they are not particularly interested or grateful, it will just go on a pile with all the rest, they don't think me and my present are important.

And why would you tantalise kids by withholding gifts they have every right to open?
They have been waiting nearly a whole year for Xmas to come round again. They have already learnt that lesson.

If by any chance I happen to know you please don't give me any gifts, in what world is not opening a gift in advance of he occasion in front of the giver incredibly rude? What nonsense, it's like you're expecting some kind of special reaction beacuse you are so much better than everyone else and your gift is way too precious to be opened on the actual day.

No one has a right to open a present, don't be so daft 😂

CoQ10 · 21/12/2022 15:11

crimbocountdown · 21/12/2022 13:53

I don't get the obsession with wanting a child to know who the present is from?? Before the age of say 8 why does it matter if they think they all come from Father Xmas - you've got their whole present receiving lives when they know Father Xmas doesn't exist to bask in the gratitude of your gift giving - let them have the magic of Xmas for a few years before turning it into performance gift giving

Because they need to write thank you cards or letters to the giver of said present.

It's not about basking in any gratitude. Its about a child starting to understand the importance of saying thank you to a real person not just expecting Father Christmas to come laden every year.

CoQ10 · 21/12/2022 15:15

I've got a good idea.

Let's cancel Christmas and just given presents on random days throughout the year.

Then we don't need to keep Christmas day precious do we.

I mean FFS. Why bother with Christmas if you're gonna open all the presents you get given days before 😄😄😄😄😄

FraterculaArctica · 21/12/2022 15:25

Related question as I am currently having a row with DF about it - if GPs are not visiting until the 7th Jan (FFS!), is it reasonable to delay gift exchange until that date, or should be kids at least open their presents from the GPs on 25th December? I.e. does it work the same in both directions?

TeenDivided · 21/12/2022 15:26

FraterculaArctica · 21/12/2022 15:25

Related question as I am currently having a row with DF about it - if GPs are not visiting until the 7th Jan (FFS!), is it reasonable to delay gift exchange until that date, or should be kids at least open their presents from the GPs on 25th December? I.e. does it work the same in both directions?

Open on 25th!

FraterculaArctica · 21/12/2022 15:33

Ha! I think so too - I'd be happy to delay until say NY, but Christmas is well and truly over by 7th Jan - kids are back at school!

Now DF not talking to me. FWIW he sent the presents in October, but is apparently bringing more on the 7th - despite me specifically asking him not to (another issue).

Hidingawaytoday · 21/12/2022 15:39

FraterculaArctica · 21/12/2022 15:33

Ha! I think so too - I'd be happy to delay until say NY, but Christmas is well and truly over by 7th Jan - kids are back at school!

Now DF not talking to me. FWIW he sent the presents in October, but is apparently bringing more on the 7th - despite me specifically asking him not to (another issue).

I'd say it does work both ways if they're physically bringing the gifts, but if he sent them in October I'd assume that's so they can open them on the 25th?

Original poster
ShirleyPhallus · 21/12/2022 15:40

CoQ10 · 21/12/2022 15:15

I've got a good idea.

Let's cancel Christmas and just given presents on random days throughout the year.

Then we don't need to keep Christmas day precious do we.

I mean FFS. Why bother with Christmas if you're gonna open all the presents you get given days before 😄😄😄😄😄

I dunno, on MN people often cook their turkeys the day before so they have less to do on Christmas Day. Should the rule work both ways?!

OP posts:
SnackSizeRaisin · 21/12/2022 15:41

It's nicest to open the present in the company of whoever gave it. Seems weirdly controlling to prevent that.

FraterculaArctica · 21/12/2022 15:43

@Hidingawaytoday no it was just to make up an Amazon order (one DC had a birthday in October), but he did say those were their Christmas presents! Think he'd forgotten about them tbh, but I reminded him about 2 weeks ago and specifically said we didnt need more, or need separate gifts from DSM...

CoQ10 · 21/12/2022 15:44

ShirleyPhallus · 21/12/2022 15:40

I dunno, on MN people often cook their turkeys the day before so they have less to do on Christmas Day. Should the rule work both ways?!

Show quote history

Only if you eat it (and all the trimmings) 😆😆😆

Sunsetintheeast · 21/12/2022 15:48

This thread is making me laugh. The level of outrage is funny.

FWIW if we do a 'fake' Christmas Day, we would open gifts. Otherwise things are saved for the big day itself. That said I got two gifts today and opened them both!!

CoalCraft · 21/12/2022 15:50

I ask the giver what they'd prefer.

FraterculaArctica · 21/12/2022 15:52

Ok so at what point would you NOT do that? Suppose you were not seeing the GPs after October/before March - would you still expect to "do" Christmas presents when you saw them in person, rather than them sending in post? Some years you just can't see everyone at Christmas. Where is the cut off point?