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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think if family members / friends give your children presents before Christmas Day it’s fine to open them…

124 replies

ShirleyPhallus · 21/12/2022 11:38

… instead of waiting for Christmas Day?

I thought this would be a unanimous opinion but I’ve seen another thread where lots of posters were saying they make their children wait and open all gifts on Christmas Day with the gift giver on FaceTime

id always let mine open them when they get them, if handed them personally by a family member or friend because:

  1. it gives the gift giver the pleasure of watching the child open the present in person
  2. it spreads things out a bit for the child so they don’t get completely overwhelmed by loads and loads of presents on Christmas Day

my husband and I both have quite large families so doing a “Christmas Day” celebration with part of the family where we exchange gifts and have a roast a week or two early is totally normal

obviously if someone is sending a gift and it arrives before Christmas it’d go under the tree to be opened on Christmas Day

YABU - all Christmas presents should be saved and opened on Christmas day
YANBU - it’s fine to open presents early if the child is with the gift giver

OP posts:
DuplicateUserName · 21/12/2022 12:03

I think it’s a real shame for grandparents (for example) to give the child a gift a few days before Christmas if they’re not spending it with them and then not get to see the child opening it, loving it, playing with jt etc

Given how many kids can't open a present without the parents shoving a phone camera in their face, I'd say that's not too much of a problem for many 😬😁

snowlolo · 21/12/2022 12:04

Kids are often overwhelmed by the amount of stuff on Christmas day.

I would let them open it in front of whoever is giving the gift.

AdventCaroline · 21/12/2022 12:07

We do the same as OP, open when they are given - and in fact any presents which have been sent by post and the giver isn’t present on Christmas Day are saved until Boxing Day.
I think spreading them out allows them to be appreciated more.

Comefromaway · 21/12/2022 12:08

We always opened everything on Christmas day.

RegularNameChangerVersion21 · 21/12/2022 12:09

Also it would be way too much faff doing screen time when people are trying to get on with their own Christmas days!

RudolphTheGreat · 21/12/2022 12:09

Yanbu. If the gift giver agrees we open there and then so they can enjoy seeing it being opened.

HelsyQ · 21/12/2022 12:10

Bizarre that people think YBU. I personally don’t do that but it’s your family, you can do what you like.

OneFrenchEgg · 21/12/2022 12:10

Isn’t it nice for the gift giver to see them opening it though?

Grin only if your kid is well trained to look pleased/ the gift giver has got it right! Otherwise I quite like a little bit of distance ...

RandomMess · 21/12/2022 12:12

I would also open them with the gift giver.

On Christmas Day we did our and Santa presents and Boxing Day was gifts from everyone else (that had been dropped off or posted). Was so much better spreading it out and appreciating who had bought them what and playing with stuff etc.

TimeForMeToF1y · 21/12/2022 12:16

Everydaywheniwakeup · 21/12/2022 12:01

Christmas presents are for Christmas day.
But wtf is that face time weirdness, who on earth would do that??

I'm guessing the same people who walk around having loud video conversations on speaker phone

Poor children having to perform gift opening

Opening presents before the 25th is as weird as going trick or treating not on Halloween imo

Hidingawaytoday · 21/12/2022 12:21

I'm with you OP, unless they come in the post or the gift giver specifies otherwise. Same as DD will be getting her presents from my in laws a few days after Christmas this year as that's when we're seeing them.

Southwig22 · 21/12/2022 12:21

YADNBU

My grandparents used to be so excited for us to go over there and unwrap presents in the week before Christmas. They'd have been devastated if they didn't get to see us opening and enjoying them (the days well before facetime!).

I don't get the harm in doing this at all!

Lovestodrinkmilk · 21/12/2022 12:21

If I give someoone a gift, I expect them to open it in front of me and tell me they like it. (Whether they do or not). Anything else is incredibly rude. If someone says they'll save it for Xmas day it tells me: they are not particularly interested or grateful, it will just go on a pile with all the rest, they don't think me and my present are important.

And why would you tantalise kids by withholding gifts they have every right to open?
They have been waiting nearly a whole year for Xmas to come round again. They have already learnt that lesson.

Original poster
ShirleyPhallus · 21/12/2022 12:22

OneFrenchEgg · 21/12/2022 12:10

Isn’t it nice for the gift giver to see them opening it though?

Grin only if your kid is well trained to look pleased/ the gift giver has got it right! Otherwise I quite like a little bit of distance ...

🤣

Yes this might have been good the year that I really wanted a crop top from tammy girl and my grandma got me a fleece from cotton traders. No hiding reaction there.

OP posts:
Oreosareawful · 21/12/2022 12:24

What?!

There is absolutely no way I would let my kids open a Christmas Present before Christmas day. I can't fathom allowing them to open something before then. Thats weird!

FinallyHere · 21/12/2022 12:28

Goodness, I'd be shocked if I gave someone a wrapped Christmas present only to have them unwrap it on the stop before Christmas.

Comefromaway · 21/12/2022 12:32

If I was giving a child a christmas present I would always make sure I gave it to their parent without them seeing it to put aside for Christmas day

HelsyQ · 21/12/2022 12:36

Lovestodrinkmilk · 21/12/2022 12:21

If I give someoone a gift, I expect them to open it in front of me and tell me they like it. (Whether they do or not). Anything else is incredibly rude. If someone says they'll save it for Xmas day it tells me: they are not particularly interested or grateful, it will just go on a pile with all the rest, they don't think me and my present are important.

And why would you tantalise kids by withholding gifts they have every right to open?
They have been waiting nearly a whole year for Xmas to come round again. They have already learnt that lesson.

What if they don’t like it? Then they are stuck with something they don’t like. Do you not think that’s a waste of money?

WeeOrcadian · 21/12/2022 12:40

Depends on the giver - if they're the type who want to see them open the gift, I'd open it there and then.
I've always kept them for Xmas day though

theswoot · 21/12/2022 12:41

YANBU OP but seeing the reaction to your post is interesting to me and is another piece of the puzzle for me as to why people get so worked up about Christmas Day being THE DAY.

Even as an adult I like spreading the gifts out over a number of days rather than loading it all into one day, and it’s better for kids too, less overwhelming.

My parents are divorced so as a kid I always had multiple days on which presents were exchanged. It doesn’t make anything less special.

We do secret Santa with my in laws and we exchanged and opened gifts weeks ago because we were all together!

SnowAndIceLobelia · 21/12/2022 12:43

We would give friends and non-immediate family gifts on Christmas eve. Never on facetime as it places way too much pressure on the 'right reaction' which is never certain!

This year though everything will be Christmas day because they are older and get fewer presents overall so it makes it more of an event.

ohioriver · 21/12/2022 12:52

If that's the Christmas meet up with the gift giver, then yes I would do as you do

Mumoffairy · 21/12/2022 12:58

User57713 · 21/12/2022 11:47

I quite like mine to open the gifts with the person who has given them so that it's obvious who the gift has come from. On Christmas day they just get a bit lost in the mayhem and the kids don't make the connection so clearly

This. We always have a big celebration with the whole family, my parents, siblings and their families, my grandparents, aunts and uncles, cousins etc. Its always a huge mess with countless presents and they always try to play with them all at once and cant appreciate them properly until much later when everything has calmed down.

My kids also never remember who gave them what. They know perfectly well though which gifts they got from my friends, because they receive and open them separately a few days before (or after) with the gift giver present.

NippyWoowoo · 21/12/2022 13:00

FinallyHere · 21/12/2022 12:28

Goodness, I'd be shocked if I gave someone a wrapped Christmas present only to have them unwrap it on the stop before Christmas.

Shocked you say?

Silvers11 · 21/12/2022 13:04

YANBU

At the end of the day, you can let your children do whatever you think is best. Can't believe all the people on here saying that they must wait.

I think it does depend on the giver and how the presents are delivered: but those handed over to the children while the giver is there, unless the giver wants the child to keep it until Christmas, I would let the giver have the joy of seeing the child open the present. It doesn't hurt to spread things out a bit either. Many children get a great many presents at Christmas and they can appreciate individual items a bit better if they have time to just look at the one at the time