To think my mental illness was caused by childhood physical abuse.

[Fentylipgloss]

Long story short, I suffered many years (from 4-16) of physical abuse. My step father battered me around the head countless times, bashed mine and my sisters head together more times than I can remember and a whole lot of other unpleasant situations, the last one being that he hit me round the head so hard I fell to the floor and he repeatedly kicked me while I was down and when my mum tried to drag him off, he pushed her out of the way so he could continue... my 'crime' for that abuse was leaving the table!!

Is it possible that I may have sustained a brain injury or AIBU to think that may be the cause of my years of mental issues?

Childhood trauma leaves its mark well into adulthood. I don’t know about brain injury it’s very possible but the trauma of your abuse itself is enough to have a long term impact on your mental health.

Im sorry you went through that

So sorry to read this, that’s really horrible.

I think a lot of mental illness can be traced back to childhood abuse, not necessarily a result of physical injury but the trauma.

Could be, but it is more likely that not having you needs met consistently through your development has caused your issues.

I'm so sorry this was allowed to happen to you. My heart goes out to you now and younger you. Are you in therapy?

That’s awful and so sorry that you have gone through this. Have you talked to your sister or mum about it? This was sustained violence for a very very long time - and at a point where your trusted adults should have looked after you so this will have a profound impact on how you are now. Can I ask if after the horrific incident you wrote about - did your mum leave?

Well there are clear links to childhood abuse and mental illness and addiction (drugs and alcohol ). Less from the physical nature of the abuse ( although that can obviously happen) but the chemical responses in the brain. So when you’re frightened for example the brain is flooded with chemicals that are damaging in large quantities over a sustained period. So in short the answer can be yes.

@Iwanttoslowdown

No. Mum never left. It's been a conversation that's been had many times over the years. There's lots of reasons why she couldn't leave. My sister resents her for it, whereas me, I don't think there's much point in making mother feel guilty about staying. Being a mother myself and if I had a partner that did that to my son, police would be called and he'd be gone...

She was never involved in the abuse, didn't agree with it and always tried to stop it (when she was there).

I know she wishes now all these years on she had made a different decision, but back then, it was impossible.

Maybe you need to think about therapy? If your son is around the age when you recall the abuse yourself that could be triggering. Also you mention a brain injury and mental illness - are these are 2 separate things. One is physical so do you have physical symptoms and if so you should see a doctor - did your mum never take you to the docs either? Also you have depression, feeling periods of fight or flight then that is about your well-being. What do you think?

OP

Mine is a very very very non scientifical opinion and many might find it laughable.

But I come from the background of my father and now my brother being neurosurgeons, and hearing them talk, translating dad's scientific papers.

If I were you I would go to the GP and insist on being referred (perhaps via a neurologist) for an MRI. I definitely think that your brain could have been physically injured by the various impacts.
An MRI would help show that.

(Then a different thing to follow up on re impacts on MH.)

Have you looked at complex PTSD?
I have this from csa.

Over the years I've had lots of therapy for mental conditions, never for the abuse I received.

I always wonder, would I have even developed MH issues if my childhood was different!?

I have been diagnosed with several long term mental health conditions including complex PTSD. All have been caused by physical and emotional abuse in childhood