Please write this response

[Hellobaby22]

Last month, my very abusive and wealthy ex did something I've not quite worked out yet to hide his income and his maintenance dropped by hundreds to close to zero. It's very difficult at the moment financially. The loss of that money coupled with cost of living and energy bills has made life very stressful and worrying.

Anyway, he messaged me a very self congratulatory text yesterday to say he's bought our son two new school jumpers so I don't have to.

Burning with anger but need a simple effective text to respond which acknowledges his hypocrisy. Please help

While he is obviously out of order for not paying for his child, how did you find out his maintenance dropped? Did he communicate to you in advance that he was having financial issues, or was the first you heard of it when the money hit your account?

Tbh, I think the best response would be none. He's absolutely waiting for you to react so don't give him the pleasure.

Is there any way you can secretly find out what he's up to regarding his income? Has he lost his job?

I think I'd just not respond and ignore it completely.

Well done.

A simple 👍

Don't reply.

He's sent that text to get an irate response from you, so that he can gloat about how easy it is to wind you up. So don't let him know he has upset you.
Instead... Ignore, ignore and then ignore some more.

And next time you buy school uniform tell him

As others have said, literally no acknowledgment whatsoever. It’ll wind him up far more than a sarcastic response ever would.

You should text him every time you buy anything for dcs, including food.

Don't reply to his text.

I think it should be responded to as if it was a business email - so an acknowledgement of the fact two jumpers are available for your child. No thank you. Just a thumbs up or an "ok" would achieve this. I think not responding just to wind him up would reflect badly on OP. She simply cares that her child is provided for, he is completely irrelevant apart from providing for her child.

I like just sending the thumbs up emoji. Don’t give him the satisfaction of knowing he got to you.

Thumbs up is pretty close to a non-response. It has no emotion and doesn't give him the satisfaction of you being wound up.

When someone tries to wind me up I like to think about how they want me to respond, then do the opposite. Drives them nuts.

He's goading you. Don't rise to it x

A thumbs up emoji is perfect.

I would also stark tracking every single expenditure you make in relation to your child and be a pedant about it. Then invoice him.

Just ignore him, that'll annoy him the most.

Don't respond but anonymously report him to HMRC for tax avoidance because it's obvious he's done something to hide his wealth. HMRC are usually interested in people who don't pay the right amount of tax. If you can't get him for child maintenance easily, you can certainly land him in it for tax fraud.

Agree wholeheartedly with everyone else. This text is designed to needle you and it's working because you're calculating a suitably pithy response. He wants to know you're annoyed...don't play along.
Ignore the text. A father buying a couple of school jumpers is not a notable event. 'Forget' to respond.

Ignore the text. Silence speaks volumes

The best thing would be to ignore but I don't always do the best thing so my reply would just be "And?????"

If you must reply, send a gif.

giphy.com/gifs/christmas-jesus-god-Rpm9zh42mnSVQZb8MO

How is this relevant other than you being a nosy parker?!

I agree with others - don't respond. Type something out, something blistering, and delete it. You'll feel better for it. Just don't send it!

Then report him to HMRC.

@ChiefWiggumsBoy I feel its relevant because if he came to her directly and said "I've lost my job, the business has gone under, I'm having cash flow problems, I can't pay right now, I'm sorry. Heres what i intend to do after Christmas to make it right...." I would be more inclined to respond gently.

If he just didn't pay up with no communication whatsoever, I wouldn't give the benefit of the doubt and would be up in arms.

Don't reply - keep your powder dry for now.

I would set up a spreadsheet - initially for just for you as suggested by several people already start recording every single expense with a column for who covered it - put the two jumpers in.

If he tries this again, consider sharing the spreadsheet with him (make a copy for yourself first) and ask him to directly update the spreadsheet directly rather than sending you a text for every little expense. We can sort out who owes what at the end of the month...

As to the bigger issue of him putting you in this situation regarding the money then I guess professional advice? No idea about that - hopefully someone on here does (haven't read the replies yet).

Thanks all. This is helpful and I'm glad most have said not to give him the satisfaction of a sarcastic response. It reminds me what I need to do and to not feed into his bullshit. Thanks all, you've really helped ❤️