Workplace collections

[user2788988]

At my workplace it feels like we are constantly having collections for various reasons, staff leaving, new baby, birthdays etc.
I have worked there for 10 years and contributed to collections but never had a collection, last year I was off sick long term nearly a year. I never received a card or flowers but thought fair enough as we had never had anyone on long term sick before so had never done a collection.
A colleague has recently had a minor operation and a collection is been done for her.
AIBU to feel upset, its feels like a popularity contest and I'm the loser. AIBU to stop contributing?

I can see why that would sting.

I think moving forward don’t contribute and if anyone asks you why, just say I’ve worked here X number of years and contributed circa £X over the years but my birthday/ long term sick was missed by the team so I just don’t want to contribute anymore.

it’s honest, to the point and should shut any one up x

Nope, you are not. I don't contribute to collections for people or charities for that reason. In the first place I worked, there were allegations of bullying and favouritism around these collections, so disruptive and upsetting they were eventually banned.

It's never, never really equal and there is the potential for it to become a popularity contest.

What were you off sick for?

YANBU
now we work remotely ours always involve doing bank transfers or PayPal , so it’s moved on from when you could just put £1 in a pot

What does it matter?!

I personally hate this. We had a recent colleague that took it upon herself to form a birthday club. I still put into the collection. But i find it tiresome.

I've never given to a collection and I've been working years! Just don't get involved again and tell them why. Yanbu.

I used to only contribute to collections I wanted to. I'm senior leadership now and I don't contribute to any collections in order to be consistent and I discourage them in my teams. See also: secret Santa

There seems like there's a never ending round of collections where I work.

The last one was for flowers because a colleagues partners sister had died!!! Obviously very sad for colleagues partner but why on earth should it warrant a collection?

You can't not put in either or everybody just thinks you're horrible.

I wouldn't put into anyones collection because they didn't get anything for you qhen you were off on sick.

Thats out of order.

I stopped doing secret Santa after 2 years in a row in a previous job I got absolute shite. Now I don't get involved in it.

I’m not a fan of collections as it always seems to be a popularity contest.
We have a really high turnover of staff (retail) so don’t do many collections, Only new babies really.
Someone organized a collection when I got married and I got a significant amount of money. I wasn’t expecting anything.
But someone else got married a year later and they didn’t even get her a card. She had been there longer than me and I felt awful about it. I was on holiday before her wedding so didn’t know they hadn’t done anything.

This happened in my work place. A collection went round for a colleague who had an operation. The operation was planned and had a set recovery time. Nothing for a colleague who went off long term sick. The reasons why they were off sick were kept quite private, no one knew when to expect them back at work, the timing kept changing regarding a return date. It made it just slightly more awkward to acknowledge with a collection.

Ultimately these things are generally easy to dodge if you don't want to contribute. "Don't have any change right now" etc etc. So it comes down to whether you want to make a stand and clearly state why you don't want to contribute anymore. If you do say then it will probably come across as sour grapes. Not saying that's right but I know how people are. So only you know how such a stance would go down in your workplace. Base your decision on that.

I never give to collections. I find them annoying. There's a new collection every week it seems...

YANBU, it seems the vast majority of work place collections are a popularity contest.

In my old workplace, a colleague was mugged and ended up in hospital very battered and bruised. No collection for him.
Another colleague fell over running for the bus and knocked a tooth out. She had a big fruit basket, a card with lots of signatures, flowers and money.
Over the years, I gave to collections for people having babies, operations, cancer treatment, bereavement, leaving for pastures new.
I had some months of sick... got nothing. People even avoided me when I went back to work. I was off for mental health reason. No one ever does a collection for that.
When I left, after nearly 10 years working there, I had a hastily signed card from "the staff", and a bottle of Black Tower.

It is very hurtful.

The only thing I would say is be up front and honest because it’s the people who do the collections (and not always because they want to but because they are asked to) that feel bad about constantly asking or reminding you about it. It’s an awful thankless job! Please just say, I’m not doing it…you don’t even need to give a reason but then at least they can cross you off the list and not ask you again!

Glad that people feel the same wasn't sure if I was been a scrooge 🙂

As long as you are consistent in saying no, fair enough. Sign cards though I think.

I agree with you. I must have given to hundreds of collections over my 38 years in the civil service, 15 with my last employer, and while there was a collection when I retired the total value of the gifts was about £50 which I thought a bit shit and not much to show for 38 years. This is the first time I have ever expressed this.

I put into every collection and then my Dad died and I didn't so much as get a card. Broke my heart a bit to be honest. After that I stopped putting in and it effected my feelings towards to colleagues. I eventually moved to a different work area.

Collections are so dependent on the people who contribute, and there being an accepted contribution. My previous boss (on close to £1million p/a) once didn’t contribute to a leaving collection for one acknowledged excellent member of his very small team. It wasn’t an oversight; it was a conscious decision.

Oh OP I resonate in my last job I swear they'd collect for some people if they sneezed the wrong way but major milestones for me (getting married, having a baby) I didn't get so much as a card. I'd stop contributing too if I were you.

Yanbu. I hate all these collections, our most recent one was for our boss and I was asked for £15 , call me stingey but that's way too much imo.

Yanbu I have stopped contributing to workplace collections I can't afford it and people have to write how much they have contributed and everyone gives £5
In the past month we have had collections for :-
2 staff members who have left (one left in September but now we are doing their collection)
2 get well collections
1 for 21st birthday
Also there is secret santa
If i contributed it would cost me £30, I earn minimum wage and work part time so money is tight and I don't want to spend my hard earned money on my colleagues (some who I really can't stand 🤣)

I find it over the top op. She had an excel file in our builders of all birthdays. Op I agree dont feel these things are fair. I only do part T. I dont have big amounts to throw around.