To think they could have found something else to put in DD’s report?

[FrustratedandFestive]

Feeling a bit sad. I probably am being unreasonable, but it’s been a hard few months.

DD is dyslexic. She struggles with spelling and writing but is however good at music - she’s a chorister at our local cathedral, plays a couple of instruments, etc.

We’ve just received her school report. I knew it might make for quite tricky reading this year as she is finding things quite hard at the moment. I’m a bit sad, though, that her music teacher has spent almost the whole music report talking about her spelling of various musical instruments and her handwriting, and has marked her down as a result.

AIBU to think that they could have found something else to talk about in relation to music, given that this is an area which she does love and where we are trying to build her confidence? It has left me feeling as through even the things she can do well are always going to be assessed through the filter of this disability. Why does her spelling matter when she’s playing the flute really well..?

Withonelook, I completely agree. DH has it also and he sailed through Cambridge and doesn’t even think about it in adult life.

And I feel it’s my job to make sure that her life turns out to be the same as it would have been without dyslexia - that she still has all the same opportunities open to her as she would have had. It will be harder, and that’s where she is now, but it’s definitely not an insurmountable obstacle.

I have also just heard that the teacher said the same about her best friend, so possibly the whole class can’t spell and he’s perhaps just cut and pasted the same report for all of them. In which case I feel
a bit silly.

Even more important to bring it up if he’s taking the shortcut of saying the same thing to everyone!

Its very different scenario, but I had one subject I excelled in as a teenager. But I was really rubbish at getting my homework in on time. The teacher for that subject only ever commented - in reports and parent evenings - about me being late. Never noted my achievements. Totally killed my love for it.

The teacher doesn’t get it.

Book a review with their boss. It isn’t good enough.

I would be disappointed too - it is so important to acknowledge the things they are doing well at, especially when they are struggling in other areas.

So maybe it’s just an overall push to improve written work for the class in preparation for getting exam ready. Maybe you could speak about what adjustments are being made so your daughter doesn’t fall short in the written aspect of her work. For example, typing up work on the computer where possible. Maybe stamps of the musical notes/an app where she can note her music and print it out for homework. That way she can show her working clearly so she isn’t losing marks she deserves to get for simple lack of clarity.

I think the difficulty in many cases is that the area of difficulty does need to be acknowledged as it can be a barrier to improving or gaining a qualification at a certain level. In french the gcse exam does require students to write accurately. A student who struggles with dyslexia will need to work on their spelling to get a good grade. Finding something very challenging doesn't mean not working on it or not seeking to use strategies to improve. It may be that using a laptop can help but in many cases the spelling and grammar checks have to be turned off to comply with exam requirements. This is the case in the ks2 sats for writing for example.

Cansu, I don’t think anyone is arguing otherwise - as I say, DH has never let it hold him back and actually, he’s been far more successful in his career than I have in mine. But surely it’s possible to talk about the things a student does well, to encourage them and give them confidence, as well as go on about the thing which realistically they will always find challenging, even with hard work?

DD works so, so hard to overcome these difficulties. She’s probably worked harder today, in the Christmas holidays, on spelling apps and typing programmes and music practice for her exams than many kids do in a school day. I can’t help but feel sad that even with all this hard work, she is still criticised for something she simply cannot control. Honestly, I just can’t ask her to work any harder.

on the other end of the spectrum I’m not in the uk and the teachers here can’t write anything that isn’t positive. It effectively makes the report useless as the comments don’t really match the measurement scale they use and your left with no real idea of what you should be helping your child with.