To have felt a bit left out at work- no party invite

[Dakotablue]

I work part-time as a Teaching Assistant attached to the Maths department in a 6th form college, I do interventions in Maths with students in my own classroom. I'm the only TA in the dept.
There are about 8 or so teachers in the dept so it's quite big, and they have their own department office where they tend to go at breaktimes and in frees.
I don't work directly with the teachers, but I do have to communicate regularly with some of them regarding what I've been doing with the students, progress etc.
I've been there since the first week back after half term now, so I'm still new but it's been a good few weeks.
Another thing is that I have to sometimes do some of my sessions in the office because of rooming issues, so I will see them there and have a quick chat.
Anyway what's upset me is that they've held their own department Christmas party and I haven't been invited. I'm only in a couple of days a week but the party fell on the day I was in (today) and they know which days I work.

When I was in on Friday I noticed they have a big sheet with all the teachers' birthdays on etc. Then next to it there was a big list of who's bringing what food to the party, with their names next to it. There was also a big secret Santa discussion.

Today, I was having to do an intervention in the department office and I walked into a platter of food and drinks. There were 4 other members of staff in there, and I was in the office for an hour. I was alone for the second half as my student didn't turn up, and not one of the teachers mentioned anything to me, offered me any food, anything whatsoever.

Maybe I should have asked, but what can I say really? "Oh, I see you're having a party." Sounds a bit passive aggressive.
"Can I join in?" Sounds a bit desperate maybe?
Anyway, if they'd wanted to invite me they would've done.
I work primarily with the students of 2 teachers, and when I did my induction I was friendly to these teachers.
I just feel like they don't consider me as a part of their department, or maybe they just think my face doesn't fit. It sucks a bit though.

I would've surely received a quick heads-up 'hey, we're having a party on the 20th, feel free to join'.

Did they organise this prior to you starting if you only work 2 days a weeks they aren't going to build much of a relationship. They sound thoughtless.

They sound awful. It wouldn't have hurt them to ask you to join them.

I have just been told by the Headteacher in our school that I was entirely wrong to say that some TAs in our school do not feel valued... YANBU to feel upset.

Not unreasonable at all to think they could invite you, how awful OP Fairly poor given it is a school, should be setting a good example to students on including people and how leaving people out is a bit mean.

I say no malice intended, and nothing about you - they will have stronger bonds as they do the same role and you have not yet had time to get established, plus when you are in a position that's a bit 'out on a limb' like yours no one quite computes that you are not part of another team, but of theirs. Next year just tell them you feel a bit of a loner and are thinking of crashing all the departments Christmas parties so you feel like you have some friends. Then bring some goodies, thank the lord you can avoid the secret santa and be friendly for a bit. Good luck as you go forward.

They've probably assumed you are part of the SEN department when it comes to things like departmental parties and secret santas. Many TAs work across multiple departments and wouldn't expect to be invited to everything. They may not have realised you only work in maths.
Where do you spend breaktimes?

YANBU. I imagine it's thoughtless rather than anything particular about you OP but it still must feel really crap.

That is awful, no excuse really. I once worked in a team where we had two random admin people placed in the office (not team admin- finance). They were part of the tea collection, nights out, xmas meals etc. It is not a hard thing to do and it amazes me that people are so inconsiderate. Particularly in under pressure public sector roles like teaching, the role is made or broken by the people you work with.

That is terrible behaviour. I honestly wouldn't want to work with people like that. My friend is an ex teacher, now working as a teaching assistant, and she has experienced very similar to you. I know for a fact that she would never have dreamed of treating teaching assistants like this when she was a teacher.

I would have said thoughtless initially, but I'd move more towards up their own arses after you said they let you sit in their room and didn't offer you any food. I would be upset if it happened to me.
However, I do think sometimes people need to be prompted, you are new and part time, so possibly not on their radar. Perhaps you could have asked ' are you having a party', 'oh what's that' for the birthday notice board, see if they take the hint. There'll probably be a main organiser doing this stuff, figure out who it is and drop hints to them.

These sorts of things rarely have any kind of official organiser, and consequently will always miss people out. Also, if you’re a TA and they’re all teachers there is a chance they don’t see you as part of their department.

It’s crappy, and I don’t blame you for being upset.

Thanks. My title is 'Maths tutor' so they definitely know I only work in Maths. There's not a lot I can do I guess, I'll try and forget it

who is your line manager?
is there someone you have one-to-ones with?
next time you have one, and they ask how you're getting on in your new role, maybe mention how this made you feel?

I suspect they expect you are affiliated to the TAs or SEN department and it hadn't crossed their minds that you assumed you were part of their department. Therefore they assumed you would be involved in those department celebrations.

Nope, my title is Maths tutor, they know full well that I only work in their department. My line manager is the director of Maths, I should definitely mention it to him next time.

Even though you only work in their department, the likelihood is they think of you as ‘support staff’ not ‘teaching staff’.

schools can be really weird places to work. I remember not being invited to the department lunch because I was a trainee teacher (doing the old GTP route) and was really upset as was a full time permanent member of staff. It made me feel really crap.

I worked in a primary school as a TA for a year. Same thing happened to me - all the teachers went off for their Christmas party and it really stung. I feel for you OP - very thoughtless and upsetting.