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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask, if you are a manager, how would you respond to this from your employee?

58 replies

atleastimtryin · 20/12/2022 15:34

If your employee told you they were undergoing tests under an urgent 2 week referral. Obviously I know you'd wish them well, but would you feel concerned that it would affect their work/concentration? Would you try and make things easier for them in the meantime if possible e.g. make sure their workload is manageable or would you just carry on as normal?

OP posts:
IneedanewTV · 20/12/2022 15:37

I would carry on as normal but let them know that if they needed any support to just ask. I would also catch up with them after the appointment.

NotRainingToday · 20/12/2022 15:38

I think mostly the first option. Wish them well, give them a space to share (if they want to do that), give them time to process the results.

Meanwhile, offer support, the option of delegating tasks, general help. But don't imply that their work might be sub-standard or that they can't/shouldn't be doing it.

When they know what comes next (e.g. surgery? chemo?), that will be the time to have a series of planning meetings of how to cover the work in their absence. Please fully include them in that.

ISeeTheLight · 20/12/2022 15:38

I would ask if they were okay, do they need any support. Remind them of employee counselling programme existence. In weekly 1-1s ask again if they're okay, do they want to talk about it, do they need support. Otherwise carry on as normal unless they said they were struggling etc.

Flyonthewall01 · 20/12/2022 15:39

Yeah I’d check up on them to make sure they are ok after the appointment but would carry on as normal otherwise. If they are struggling with concentration and workload it’s for the employee to raise to the manager

PAFMO · 20/12/2022 15:39

Take the lead from them. But as normal as possible because that's how I'd want it.

SnarkyBag · 20/12/2022 15:39

Carry on as normal but cut some slack if they seem distracted. Manageable workload should be standard anyway

sunflowerdaisyrose · 20/12/2022 15:40

Express concern and carry on (while keeping communication open).

I've had 4 x 2 week referrals and one of which was cancer. During the waits I (personally) didn't need any special consideration at work.

Itsthewhitehat · 20/12/2022 15:40

During the initial chat I wills try and gauge the situation. I wouldn’t immediately offer a reduction in work load.

When I was in the same situation, it didn’t occur to me to excel g a reduction in workload either tbh.

Saz12 · 20/12/2022 15:41

Depends on the role. If it’s office based then would probably let them crack on, although I’d make it clear that if they need shortened hours or projects reassigned that’s be fine.
If role is primarily working with people (carer, teacher, retail etc) then I’d be suggesting reassigning to colleagues and getting them onto paperwork /admin etc instead.

July70 · 20/12/2022 15:41

Sorry to hear, let me know if there is anything we can do and I hope it all works out for you. Then back to normal but if you see them going off sick/etc, give them your full support and reassurances.

sheepdogdelight · 20/12/2022 15:42

Express concern and ask them to let me know if there is anything I can do to support them.

MadMadMadamMim · 20/12/2022 15:43

Wish them well, sympathise and ask them to let me know if they need additional support or any adjustments.

Polarbearyfairy · 20/12/2022 15:44

I would ask them what would help and then accommodate it if possible. Some people don't want changes made as work helps them keep their mind off it, some people are the opposite. Some people just want to know you're actively thinking about them. I never presume but I do ask. I also keep a close eye and intervene if it's clear they're not coping, especially if they wanted to power through. I also keep an eye on anyone one of my reports manages who is going through a difficult time too, although they wouldn't necessarily know about it, but I have intervened on a couple of occasions this year.

But - that's just me, I take that approach to managing my people. Your work are under no actual obligation to make changes.

If you need that to help you cope I'd be honest with your manager and ask for what you need, don't wait for them to spontaneously offer, they don't know how you're feeling.

LordEmsworth · 20/12/2022 15:45

Presumably you are asking because you are the employee?

I just don't see how it can help you knowing what others would do in that situation. We have no influence over your manager.

If you mean, what should you do - then I would say, tell your manager what you need. And if you are worried that they will think less of you, then tell them that. They're not psychic and you'll just work yourself up worrying, possibly with no cause.

maddy68 · 20/12/2022 15:48

I would t do anything except wish them well and to keepe updated

Passtheturkey · 20/12/2022 15:48

I’d talk to them, ask what they needed and try and make it work within the HR rules in place. I’d expect work to suffer but would avoid telling them this while ensuring they knew there was the offer to reduce workload/focus of preferred areas.

For me the key thing is to be led by them - do they want to throw themselves in to something complex, do a busy but simple job, etc.

theemmadilemma · 20/12/2022 15:51

I'd let them know I was concerned for them. I would ask them how they are feeling and if they need some additional breaks/time away. I'd let them know to just let me know if they are struggling and we can make adjustments as necessary.

However, with all that said, I have the remit to do that, because I have a team to fill the gaps in resource. That's not going to be possible for many roles.

Nodancingshoes · 20/12/2022 15:53

IneedanewTV · 20/12/2022 15:37

I would carry on as normal but let them know that if they needed any support to just ask. I would also catch up with them after the appointment.

Same. They may want to carry on as normal to keep themselves busy.

Season0fTheWitch · 20/12/2022 15:57

Ask if they want more or less work. Some like work as a distraction. Offer an easier workload if needed, keep communication open

MolkosTeenageAngst · 20/12/2022 16:07

If any of my employees ever have any personal or health issues that they’ve shared with me I usually say to them when they tell me that if they’re struggling with anything or need anything etc to let me know and try to make it clear I will aim to help make adjustments if needed but I then carry on treating them as normal and with my normal expectations unless they explicitly state that they need something to change.

KatherineJaneway · 20/12/2022 16:10

I'd say I was sorry to hear that and could the company do anything to help support them during this difficult time.

LittleG69 · 20/12/2022 16:12

This was me last year (though I’m also a manager). My manager just said to let him
know if I needed anything and if things got too much he would speak to the wider management team to ensure everything got picked up. I really appreciated this approach

And as a manager that’s the approach I’d take too

figmaofmyimagination · 20/12/2022 16:12

SnarkyBag · 20/12/2022 15:39

Carry on as normal but cut some slack if they seem distracted. Manageable workload should be standard anyway

This. And i am doing exactly this for someone atm.

SeasonFinale · 20/12/2022 16:17

Clearly you are the employee. If you want lesser duties just say.

VeggieSalsa · 20/12/2022 16:23

Carry on as normal and say they can let me know if they need any additional support.

And I’d expect the same in return.

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