To see husband's kids without his permission

[Lemmecalluacab]

Hi! I would like some opinions on my friend's situation, she actually is the one who asked me to post.

My friend, let's called her Tatiana, have 3 kids (3yo, 7 yo and 13yo) by her husband, we'll call him Paul.

Paul have 2 other kids who live in another city, he basically abandoned them, and they have been raised by their maternal grandparents ( The mum passed away). BUT Tatiana didn't know about his past.

Paul's daughters, who are 16 and 18 have messaged Tatiana. They all have met several times the past year. BUT Paul suddenly decided he no longer wanted to have his girls over or meet them because he doesn't feel any connection and feel like they are strangers. He told his daughters to never contact him again.

But the truth is that Tatiana maintained a regular contact with the 2 girls. Her logic is that, she wants her children to have a relationship with their siblings and she's grown attached to them.

Paul found out about it, and he has basically told her that if she continued to see his children, he will ask a divorce.

Is Tatiana overstepping boundaries? Is she being unreasonable?

If he abandons his children, it isn't because if Titania's actions, it is because he is an utter shit.

I agree with OP - take up his offer of divorce and keep contact with his older children.

@Nosleepforthismum He truly is a disgusting man. From what I know, his ex died when their youngest was 1, and he left them with their maternal family because he "was too young to take care of them". He was in his late twenties. So def not too young.

Sounds like their dad wouldn’t be much of a loss. He’s dumped one set of kids and is happy to walk away from his other kids if he doesn’t get his own (awful) way.

i couldn’t be with someone who thinks it ok to abandon his children not once but twice. What a sad excuse of a man he is.
Is he a good father to their 3 children? If she left would he actually be missed in their lives if he isn’t a active parent?

Their children I take it are aware of their sisters? How do they feel knowing their Dad is abandoning them again?

He's a monster. I couldn't look my DH in the eye if he abandoned his own children like that. Those poor girls. How heart-breaking.

Prettyinpink22

Everyone adapted to the situation, apart from Paul. Tatiana's 13yo dd get along super well with her sisters. She was so upset that they lied to her and told her that it was the mum who ran away with the kids.

7yo ds is the one who always asks to see his sisters and the 3yo ds doesn't realise anything yet. Honestly, Tatiana has met the 2 girls grandparents, maternal aunts, cousins and everyone seems to het along. The only problem is Paul.

Better for the kids to have their half siblings and their extended family in their life, than one shithead father.

They might not want to know him anyway when they're old enough to realise what a cunt he is.

As far as I'm concerned, there is no such thing as selective parenting. He was a shocking parent to his two daughters and he's about to do the same thing again - I couldn't be married to a man like that and say or do nothing when there are two other daughters he won't acknowledge for spurious reasons. If he threatened me with divorce I'd say fine pal, off ya pop. He's not a good dad. To anyone.

The shit walked away from two of his kids once. He'll probably walk out on the other three at some point when life gets hard again.

What's the point in breaking up the stepsiblings now? For the hope that the dad won't walk away at some point? Paul's not worth it.

Tatiana should call his bluff. If it ends in divorce, so be it. Paul is a ticking turd of a time bomb anyway.

Tatiana sounds like a lovely mum, trying to do the best for all children. It's quite telling that the two unrelated children felt comfortable enough to maintain a relationship with her. She can do better than Paul.

She needs to tell him the kids also have a right to a relationship and he can choose to stay away
But he lied about his kids and now not bothered , wouldn't be someone I want to stay with

Well this will impact his kids regardless. They will grow up thinking he is a c**t (which he is) for abandoning his kids.

And no, they won't be fatherless because of Tatianas decision. They'll be fatherless because he's a deadbeat sorry excuse of a father who they'd be better off without.

Those poor kids. Atleast they'll all have each other.

it's not even just that Paul walked out on his daughters when they were tiny, their mother died and he was the only parent they had left! and he fucked off! What a tit. Tatiana should embrace her kids' half-siblings and the family that raised them, and kick Paul to the kerb.

It won’t be because of her decisions though will it? It’s because he’s a wanker who can cut off his own flesh and blood.

Tatiana should say Tattie by to Paul he is a cunt and will probably fuck her and her kids off if they become too much for him. X

Wow, leaving your children effectively orphaned is bad enough but then cutting off contact later too. I’d be questioning what sort of person he was