Mother's Help

[TwinsAndTiramisu]

Posting here for traffic (sorry)...

Does anyone have a mother's help? If so, where did you advertise, what's your set up and how much do you pay please?

For context, we are family of 5. East/South East England. Twin toddlers, one teen, DH and I. Essentially what I had been doing as a bit of a side hobby looks like it could turn into a reasonable WFH opportunity, and I'm just not keeping on top of that and all the household chores/admin for 5 people, which currently fall to me as sahm. No childcare required. DH working full time.

Thank you xx

Oh.

I used to be a mother's help many years ago. There used to be domestic agencies I wonder if there still are. Also the Lady magazine though I am probably way behind the times!

I had one when DC were small. I just advertised locally, interviewed about five people and chose the one I liked most. Mother's Helps don't care for the child on their own so don't need to be qualified, just kind , reliable and useful to your family. I'd pay £12-15ph depending on age and experience.

I was a mother's help when I was a late teen I was doing childcare at college, we had a notice board for P/T work, I think nowadays it would be more regulated, could you advertise online maybe on indeed or childcare website.

Oh you don't need childcare,

Yes it's more of a housekeeper type role, but not quite. Like I need someone to just come in do all the laundry, fold the tumble drying and put it away. Do some cleaning.

Even just the cleaning done would help, but we've tried 4 now and they've all been, not to mince my words, utterly shit.

It's the little things that take all my time. DTwins drawing/scratching on the wall that I'm constantly cleaning. Floors always need mopping. 2 loads of laundry and put away each day. Putting toys away. Getting stains out of whatever they've had on at nursery. Our house always looks dirty. It's surface stuff, not filth and grime, but it's never looking clean.

The more I say it out loud, I need someone to clean. Properly. Tidy up so I'm not having to clean the kitchen before I can cook tea every night. Maybe 3hrs twice a week. And do the laundry.

You need an actual housekeeper I think you could advertise that at the jobcentre or any of the recruitment sites, or even the local newspaper as help wanteswhere did you get the others ?

The cleaners I got just by browsing local FB forums and seeing who people recommend. The people making the recommendations must have been family members as all four cleaners were shocking. And I'm not great at cleaning, they made me look almost OCD.

Aren't housekeepers pretty much full time? We don't need that, I wouldn't have the time to let her know who needs what meals for the week for the food shop (by the time ive done that, may as well do it myself) and we don't need someone every day, or even all day. Plus the cost while the two children are in nursery will be too much. I just someone who can use their initiative, look at the house and think "ah, that needs doing" and just get on with it a couple of times a week.

Is that a part time housekeeper or a cleaner?

Could you look at ways to improve your efficiency? E.g. create a rolling meal plan so you don't have to think about dinner each night, do online food shops etc?
Given your children are in nursery at least part time you should be able to manage as long as your husband is doing his fair share.

That's not to say don't get a cleaner/helper if you would prefer to outsource chores (I know I would if I could) but its not the only solution to consider.

I have a weekly meal plan, and online food shop. All done via spreadsheet, then printed out on a Sunday evening so everyone knows what's for dinner each night and who's having what in case people are out/eating at different times.

DH's hours do not enable him to do a "fair share" of the housework. The answer isn't he finds more hours in the day, he's often knackered by the end of the day.

Today for example, kids up and 2 youngest to nursery, straight back on onto dealing with two of my work orders that haven't arrived and opening cases with courier, I've done one laundry load, put away the two loads from yesterday, DNan turned up worrying about an online order she had placed (she's 86 and doesn't do tech) so sorted that for her, rapidly (and badly) cleaned the kitchen, elder DS had broken a glass jar and said nothing (!!) so that needed a proper clean up. Made a brunch for DH and I. Emptied clean dishwasher and loaded up again. Ordered a couple of Christmas presents, did the paperwork for a car we sold today, arranged delivery of new table, hung up a garland that has been loitering in the kitchen for a week, then back onto more of my sales, did another 9 orders today, wrapped/packaged them, drove to drop them off, back, more correspondence with table delivery. Deal with a few things elder DS needs.

Apart from the work stuff, all the other stuff is just taking up my time, predominantly the cleaning. I've had no chance to hoover. The white tiled floors are grey with dirt. Bathrooms are grim. DTwins bedding really needing changing today but I haven't had the time to strip the beds, wash and tumble and remake.

And today wasn't a busy day. If I had the day to actually work, my orders would be ten fold. I'm just wasting so much time on sod all. And because I always "just need to...." by the time I've done that fruitless exercise, it's eaten up the productive time I could have used. Right now is a prime example. I need to pick up DTwins in 25 mins. So that's not enough time to do any real work, before I have to pack up. It's the same principle every day, by the time I've just done the dishwasher, just done their beds, just done the tumbledryer, just wiped the kitchen down, just made a sandwich, just cleaned the wall they've drawn on, just sorted something for DS, just called the energy supplier....

I had one for a few years. She fitted her hours around college so I had around twenty hours a week help. I advertised locally. She had relevant checks through her college course. It worked really well. Sanity saving.

@Reindeersnooker where did you advertise when you say locally? FB?

Apart from anytime else, what stands out is that you are trying to work & do personal / family tasks at the same time. I think you need to block out time for work, and then employ someone (I'd say someone who advertises as a cleaner) to do core tasks in that time eg sheets, cleaning, meal preparation. I think you'd get someone easily but I think the idea they'd just see what needs to be done is a bit unlikely, at least initially.

I worked as part-time mothers help & got my position through nanny agency. I did school run, changed children's beds, did laundry, ran dishwasher, placed the online shop order & received delivery, prepared meal for evening. Sometimes I did school pick-up & took children to activities if mum not back from work. During school holidays I did above and some childcare.

I'd say you need a cleaner/PA.

I have a housekeeper for 6-8 hours a week (it depends how much ironing or laundry for the last 2 hours). She cleans the whole house, changes the beds, folds the laundry, puts laundry on/ pegs out/ puts in drier, puts away a grocery delivery, organises the kitchen cupboards and other areas that get untidy, irons, in fact whatever needs doing in the house, she does. She decides if on one of her days she will be deep cleaning a room, and when it looked like she was struggling some weeks to get everything done, we offered her the extra hours to use if she needed them.
We advertised on FB locally but were very clear with what we wanted (ie, to basically not think about the housework at all), interviewed a few, and then this lady has worked for us for a year and it is bloomin marvellous.

I think it was Facebook, yes.

You need a part time housekeeper. I found mine on gumtree, was excellent - cleaning, changed beds, organised kitchen cooked a meal twice a week and picked up the children from primary school (aged 7&9) on those days too

To make it work you need to be really clear about what tasks need completing and when. Work out how long it takes to for example, to strip the beds, launder and remake. What deep cleaning you need, how often you want the fridge cleaning out.

It's going to be really challenging to expect someone to come in a be able to use their initiative to meet your expectations

I don't know where you are but I'm in Suburban south Manchester and I pay £15 an hour for our fantastic cleaner.

I did it for a summer and it was probably the best paid job I ever had. Admittedly the family I worked for was in a unusual circumstance and only needed me short term. I did do some limited childcare and most of my tasks were child related.