Instagram exposite

[Advicerequest]

I've just discovered that my 15 year old daughter's instagram account is not only public but uses her full name. Our family is the only family in this county with that name and my address is available on the internet. She is in a bikini in two photos.

I have asked her to either make the whole thing a private account or change the name to one Thst doesn't include her full me (plus remove the bikini pictures)

she has refused. She has calls me an ugly bitch and torn up a newspaper article about me which I let her out on her notice board. She says all her friends do this but I've checked and her school friends either use full names and are private/ don't post or use non identifying names and post publicly. There are two exceptions. It's irrelevant anyway as she is opening herself up to mutters.

I've taken her phone and her computer. I don't have her password so I can't change anything myself. I'm really. I am not being unreasonable and what I'd like from you folks is for you to explain to her why having a public instagram with your full name at 15 is not safe.

thank you.

Why is there a newspaper article about you?

Why does your daughter insist on using her full name - does she want to be famous? Do you even know the reason why?

so many questions, so few will probably be answered on this cryptic thread

It's not up to random Mumsnetters to parent your daughter.

You're doing a good job yourself by the sound of it. Stay strong and do NOT give her phone and computer back.

Not up to anyone else to parent your kiddo, OP.

Is it a smartphone? Wait till she's asleep then just use the fingerprint to open it. From there you can access the Instagram, remove the images, make the account private and then change the username. I'd also change the password.

Normally I wouldn't be so drastic but given the era we're in now in relation to safeguarding, social media use and how publicly available information is about your home address (you really only need a surname and relevant search area to find anyone) I would be locking down absolutely everything.

I'm in a similar position, distinctive name and some details available publicly. I did not use my name on SM, do not post publicly. Too many fucking weirdos.

Well if your name is in the paper and your address is online she’s going to use that against you! Tell her unless the name is changed and it’s made private she’s not getting any of her stuff back at all because she can’t be trusted to keep herself safe.

I completely disagree with the suggestion that you use her fingerprint when she’s sleeping and then change all her settings.

Your daughter is close to becoming an adult and will have to make many difficult decisions about who she trusts, what info she shares online etc in coming years.

Can you sit down and have an adult conversation with her about the reasons behind your concerns, alternative approaches etc. So you end up with a position that is workable and doesn’t destroy the trust in your relationship?