Ugh this is a senseless moan really. I know I'm the only one who can change things but I honestly don't know how. I'm stuck in such a rut. I can't seem to commit to change and I'm exhausted with a very clingy baby which doesn't help motivation either.
The way I look depresses me. Im only late thirties but my face is haggard. Im overweight. I lack energy because I eat a shit diet of processed convenience food. I have bad anxiety that I've tried many things to solve (medication, therapy etc). Nothing seems to help. I hate my job and am dreading going back after my maternity leave ends in January. I want to retrain but I haven't even got the gumption to figure out what I want to do.
I am permanently stressed and overwhelmed which makes me snappy and snide to my dh. He is patient to a point but he doesn't really understand why I'm such a cow sometimes and nor do I if I'm honest. I just really really dislike myself.
I'm not sure if it's gotten worse since having my baby. It's definitely made me more stressed as I can't get anything done. But l think I've always been one of these lazy, procrastinating people to an extent. I want to do things (lose weight, retrain, have a clean tidy house, de clutter) but something always seems to stop me.
This is a very pointless rant. I just wondered if anyone else is similar and if so how did you overcome things and turn things around? For me it seems like I'm my own worst enemy but I don't know how to fix things.