To save money for my kids' futures rather than spend more now?

[CornishPasty101]

I got divorced about 6 years ago. My ex was utterly hopeless with money (my dad bailed him once to the tune of about 50k) and I don't imagine he will be able to save much for our children's futures despite earning 3-4 times the amount I do.

I have accounts open in my name but for the children, saving for when they get their first car/go to uni/move out from home etc. Each child has about 6k in their account and my eldest is 13 so I've got a while to go before any big milestones where they might use the money.

The issue is, I'm a fairly low earner, so this saving means that money is quite tight at the moment. The basics are all covered and they have got the Christmas presents coming that they wanted etc, but today when my DD wanted to get an extra present for her cousin, I had to say no. I feel awful about this but I've already bought a present and don't have the spare money to buy another one on top, especially as this would also mean getting one for DDs other cousin.

AIBU to try to be saving this money when it means things are tighter right now?

It's a balancing act and it sounds like you're getting it about right, they've got basics plus luxuries and some savings too.

Do they have any money they control? It's obviously a great life lesson and could have been used in the situation you describe.

Given that things are likely tighter now than they were a year ago where have you made cuts? I'd try to keep the same amount of discretionary spending by reducing savings if you feel its too tight.

You’re giving those kids everything they want and need. And you’re able to save for their future. That’s fantastic.

Your dd might be disappointed now at not being able to buy that extra present. But maybe suggest you both save up for it for their birthday? Even if that’s not an option, I doubt she’ll remember this time next year. The cousin has a gift from you, it’s not like you’ve had to cut back so far as to not be able to give them anything.

Your kids will thank you in the future, I’m sure.

Yes they do get pocket money and I think my DD will spend that on the gift she wants to get. Better than the rubbish she usually buys!

I'm planning to look again at the finances as DD started secondary last term and I had underestimated how much school lunches would cost per day! So I might have to reduce the amount of savings. The good news is that interest rates have gone up so if I move their money into higher interest accounts then reducing how much I pay in doesn't have so much of an impact.

Be aware of the amount that they may get as loans if they go to university, we saved up enough to cover the balance of parental contribution

I haven't looked too much into it yet. Just don't want them to come out of uni with mountains of debt.

Why on earth did your dad bail out your ex with 50k.

Because we were married and his debt was therefore also my debt.

It doesn't sound like they're missing out on anything that would really make their life better. A few extra bits of tat at Christmas (for them or their cousins) won't actually make their life better. AS long as they have everything they need and a little bit extra for fun saving for the future sounds like a great idea.

As far as I know, you are not liable for your dh's debts simply by virtue of marriage. If you are liable it is because you agreed to be the jointly liable with your dh, in the same way any person is joint liable with another if they sign an agreement saying that.

Anyway, this is by the by.

You are doing the right thing. I would always save for my dcs, even if their father was feckless. In fact, especially if their father is feckless. I presume your dad has some wealth and will look after them as well.

My friend was a lone dm. Scrimped to get her ds a decent savings amount.
At 18 he spent 7k in 10 months on nights out.
Not 1 thing owned to show for all her hard work.
He had a job and never even paid her board. He was an entitled prick imo.
Spend now and enjoy time with your dc with it. My dd had a uni loan she pays back. Not a problem for her..

I wouldn't pay upfront for uni that's silly unless you are wealthy. Also don't let them have it at 18 they will spunk it. Not deliberately, just being 18. If using for living costs at uni sounds good set it up to pay over weekly or monthly a set amount. Or keep savings in your name earmarked for them and only tell them when older, saved towards house deposit or wedding etc.

It sounds hugely sensible but I would keep it to help contribute towards something like home ownership rather than Uni fees. The structure of student loans is such that they would be better maxing those out and then you can contribute a lump sum towards a deposit in the future.