I wonder if you would mind giving me some perspective. Totally fine if you think AIBU. Just good to hear other people's thoughts....
My partner (ex as of today!) and I have been together 8 months. I was really looking for a long term partner when I met him and was delighted when he came along.
We had a lot in common and he made me feel happier than I have been in years. I did wonder slightly that i was always the one paying for things but put this down to me being super excited and something I needed to work on.
I knew he had a little boy (6 years old) and I thought he sounded like a good dad. I don't have children but have worked with them for nearly 20 years and I was clear we needed to put his kid first and I shouldn't meet him for 6 months. I also offered to meet the child's mum first if this would help..
Given his childcare commitments I could only see him one or 2 evenings a week and one afternoon (on a Sunday). He couldn't plan holidays ever and couldn't speak on the phone when he had his child. He also left around 6 30am every Saturday morning. I initially thought this all showed what a good person/dad he was. I also felt these things would improve when I could be around his child.
Anyway 6 months came and went and his ex said she wasn't ready to meet me. I thought okay, and although disappointed I could not move the relationship on, I obliged. I then started to think perhaps he should make up his mind if I could pop in when he had his son, as he has PRRs.
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Anyway fast forward to 8 months. I want more commitment and to be able to see him more. He spoke to his ex on Friday who remains very clear she doesn't want to meet me. This means I can't see him any more times than I do and the relationship feels stuck. He has also been going around to her house helping her when she is unwell and always seems at her beck and call. I said I was beginning to feel.uncomfortable that his ex.was dictating the speed our relationship was moving at. I said he could make decisions without her say so as they are separated and he could decide if I was good enough to be around his child. I said I would be very discrete and not in the child's face and suggested little 5 minute 'bump ins' at the local park or dropping something off at his house etc. He disagreed.
Today I said was unhappy his ex had control over us and couldnt do it anymore. He said his ex wouldn't give me a time to meet and he understood my frustration and agreed with everything i said. It was the easiest split up ever! He sent me a message saying he really loved me and I make him v v v happy but i deserve more. I am flabbergasted by how disposable I am to.him and feel stupid.I think his actions speak louder. I think he might be ashamed/embarrassed or not happy about me. AIBU to say I cant do this anymore and want more commitment? And to feel so very fed up.