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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Christmas Misery

9 replies

EndlessRain1 · 18/12/2022 14:54

My entire family is miserable this year. DD(9) is shouting and screaming at everyone every chance she gets, refuses to do anything we want her to do (even seemingly "nice" things, like going to a Christmas market), every time she doesn't get her way she's just awful. The only thing she is interested in is talking to her friends on facetime (phone has now been removed as it seemed to make behaviour worse). She told DS this morning that father Christmas isn't real because she was annoyed with us for asking her to get dressed so we could go out. DH is being just as bad, and hardly modelling good behaviour. I am frustrated with him, but also I get how fed up he is feeling as DD is just being awful. DS(5) is generally ok, but keeps arguing with his sister because she is so mean to him.

DH thinks that we need to punish her to show her behaviour isn't ok while I agree that her behaviour isn't on and needs to have consequences, but equally she's a child and angry/ upset. It's quite unlike her too, while she's always been strong willed she is normally pretty cheery. It seems all we ever do in our house recently is scream and shout at each other. I don't even know how it got to this, or what we can do to fix it. The fact it's Christmas time is just amplifying the lack of any goodwill or cheer. Urgh.

Would I be unreasonable to just cancel Christmas and book myself a one way ticket to a beach in mexico? If that would be unreasonable, any tips to sort out us?

OP posts:
Blondlashes · 18/12/2022 14:56

If nothing is upsetting her then a punishment for future infractions seems appropriate. We can all be angry and upset but it still isn’t ok to lash out at others.
Provide a warning for the next infraction and apply it if broken

Stressedmum2017 · 18/12/2022 14:57

Take your son to Mexico and leave the misery guts to it 😂

EndlessRain1 · 18/12/2022 14:58

Stressedmum2017 · 18/12/2022 14:57

Take your son to Mexico and leave the misery guts to it 😂

So tempting 😂DS and I would have a lovely time.

OP posts:
fancyacuppatea · 18/12/2022 15:00

YANBU.
Leave grumpy DH with the kids and bugger off, even if it's only to Tesco for an hour.

Aprilx · 18/12/2022 15:00

Stressedmum2017 · 18/12/2022 14:57

Take your son to Mexico and leave the misery guts to it 😂

He is a misery guts because he actually wants to address the bad behaviour? 🧐 I think it is him that should take DS to Mexico and let OP continue her softly softly approach to dealing with daughter.

EndlessRain1 · 18/12/2022 15:04

Aprilx · 18/12/2022 15:00

He is a misery guts because he actually wants to address the bad behaviour? 🧐 I think it is him that should take DS to Mexico and let OP continue her softly softly approach to dealing with daughter.

He is being a misery guts though. Yesterday when DD was stropping when we had to take DS to a party (it was at a shopping centre, DH was meant to come and spend time with DD while DS was at the party so I could get a few presents), DH just shouted at everyone and refused to come becusae "everyone is so miserable". Hardly modelling good behaviour....

I shout too (not great, and it's in frustration for sure because she can be so impossible), and have removed her phone for a week as a result of her behaviour, but feel unsure about "punishing" showing feelings and where the line goes with that.

OP posts:
Hopeyoursproutsarealreadyon · 18/12/2022 15:04

No 9 year old needs a phone.

Remove until secondary school and reap the reward..

GrazingSheep · 18/12/2022 15:04

I’d remove the phone permanently for starters.

EndlessRain1 · 18/12/2022 15:06

I'm considering it. It's just hard as all her friends have one, and they all chat and play games online together. It would really exclude her socially from her friendship group if she couldn't join in. We will see how this week pans out though, definitely open to extending the ban or really limiting her acess.7

OP posts:
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