If you lend money..

[Mrspatmoressouffle]

AIBU to think if you lend money to someone and agree a date it is paid back, you cannot be annoyed at what the borrower does before then?

A friend has complained to me about something last week where another friend was out on the 3rd and owed her money. I pointed out that she was due to pay back the 9th and probably factored in her Christmas night out to her finances which is why she borrowed money. Friend says she shouldn’t have gone anywhere if she owes money but I don’t think that’s how agreement on paying back works. They set the terms and both agreed on the date.

(Money was indeed paid back on the 9th)

Whilst, technically, you aren’t wrong I understand why friend is annoyed.

Why should you friend wait to get her cash back when the person who borrowed it is out on the town spending more? It’s a bit cheeky to make the friend wait until the payback date instead of paying them back early.
if I needed to borrow money I’d be paying my debts back before spending more.

did the lender have to stay home and not go out because they weren't flush enough with cash to do anything like that until they had been paid back?

if that's what happened then I am not surprised they were annoyed but they either shouldn't have lent the money or should have explicitly said "But I'm now going to be skint till you pay me back so if you have a chance to pay back sooner please do"

otherwise then I agree that the borrower may well have figured spending money for this event into their borrowing needs, so if they kept their agreed payback date and if they didn't lie about why they needed cash then they haven't done anything wrong.

I guess it depends if there was a discussion on why the friend needed to borrow the money in the first place? If she was like oh I'm absolutely broke could I borrow some money to do a food shop till I get paid? Then I can see why the lender would be annoyed at the night out. However if the reasons why weren't discussed the lender just has to suck it up. I personally wouldn't borrow money for a night out but I wouldn't judge someone one for doing it either, as long as they paid back what they owe when they agreed that's the main thing.

I think your friend is BU
if the money wasn’t paid back however it would of been a different story.

I think it’s best just not to lend money in the first place.

I think the person who borrowed it is a piss taker.

Never a lender or a borrower be.

The borrower stuck to the terms and paid back on time so isn't in the wrong.

In the lender's position I would have felt unnerved and prickly when I found out about the night out. Not because it is "wrong" but because I'd be afraid that frivolous spending might leave borrower unable to repay. In my youth this often happened and the borrower would then get indignant at being asked to repay because I could afford to have lent it but they would then struggle to repay it. I got wise to people asking me to "lend" when they actually meant "give".

But she did repay so this is ok. If the lender was only willing to lend for essentials rather than extras this should have been part of the terms.

You should return the money as soon as you can, not at the latest you can get away with, unless you friend is Barclays.

No, I agree with most. If you are so strapped you need to borrow money off a friend, then you can't afford a 'Christmas night out'. That is something you save up for if you can't afford it out of your usual wages. Or you choose not to. Or, you are honest enough to say to the person you want to borrow from "I can't afford to go out on the town for Christmas unless you lend me the money" and then everyone knows where they stand.

If a friend were so short they needed to borrow money from me, I would assume it was for heating / rent /food / or potentially an unexpected car bill when they needed car for work or something, not for expensive Christmas meals / drinks.

My personal motto is to only lend things that you can live without. Have the mindset that you won't see the lent 'item' again so you are fine if you don't and pleasantly surprised if you do...