To think this reaction was awful?

[Madisonave03]

My mum and step dad, siblings and their partners were due to visit us today before Christmas, they live an hour away and we don't see a lot of them (maybe 2-3 times a year so not the closest of relationships) whenever they come it's like safety in numbers because they always come together which I don't mind but it makes scheduling a date more difficult and can be overwhelming for DC as 7 adults he doesn't know very well all here in one go. We've recently moved house and I know my mum was very excited to see it but she has also not seen my DC since May. This morning I phoned my mum to say we've not slept last night because our DC was poorly in the night and this morning they are still poorly. I phoned as they were getting ready to set off. I didn't say they shouldn't come I only wanted to warn her but she said they would come anyway but not stay long, she didn't show any concern for DC either and couldn't hide her annoyance in her tone of voice. Fast forward 10 min and she phones back to say she has spoken to my step dad and they are not going to come but she made a point of saying how disappointing it is and that they have gifts. I offered to drive over and pick them up when convenient but she said no because it's not the same as being able to visit the new house. All the while she showed little empathy for DC and it seemed to me they were only really annoyed because they couldn't come to the new house. I offered a couple of other dates to come but this didn't fit in with them either. Came off the phone feeling quite disappointed in her uncaring reaction. Then about half an hour later DC started to pick up a bit (after Calpol) and I felt guilty so I phoned again to let her know. She seemed keen to still come but needed to check with siblings/my step dad as "really wants to see DC" then she sends me a text message 5 min later today siblings have gone back to bed now and they will just come in the new year and it was such a shame because they were all ready to leave when I phoned at 9am. She's made me feel like IWBU for phoning about him being poorly. Fair enough they were about to leave but I held off because I thought he would improve and I wasn't even ringing to cancel I just wanted to let them know he'd not be himself today. AIBU to be upset by her response?

YANBU; there's other threads where people are asking about visiting others with illnesses and being told not to come.

We've had to postpone some arrangements this weekend and while disappointing, there's a lot going on this week and sharing the lurgy unnecessarily could ruin the start of Christmas in the next week. It's polite to show concern about the poorly person. Especially a child bouncing from one illness to another.

They sound like hard work and not very caring.

It's poor that they all have to come together like that. Makes each visit such a huge deal! Family coming to see DC should be a relaxed affair and not so dramatic / rare.

Some gp's are like this though, it's like they have forgotten what it's like to have young DC and they make it all about them and their convenience instead.

Don't take it personally, they are the ones missing out.

It sounds like you have a cool and fragile relationship with your Mum were the pair of you are busy over analysing and assuming the worst of one another.

Some people aren’t worth feeling upset about, if she cba to see her only grandchild an hour away I wouldn’t bother myself with worrying over their feelings.
You’re right she should have shown more concern over her grandchild’s health, unfortunately my mother would have been the same as yours apart from she lives across the road from me and only phones or visits if she wants something, she does love my children though luckily, me not so much, always informed me I was an accident and should have gone through with the abortion 🤷🏻‍♀️

You clearly love your little family as do I mine and I focus on my household and try not to get bent up over what my mother feels or doesn’t feel. I didn’t used to but I’ve come to the realisation that her negativity makes me worse, she is my trigger as horrible as it sounds.

I hope your little one feels better this time next week and you get to enjoy Christmas.

It sounds like you didn't want to see them or have them over so you ring them this morning to put them off. I'd be majorly hacked off in their shoes.

I would have taken your first call as you telling them not to come , I'd be disappointed if I were your mum and I'm not surprised they didn't want to come after your second call.