Page 6 | To ditch these bits of Christmas

PupInAPram · 2022-12-18T10:30:49+00:00

This year, with the agreement of my adult children whom I'll spend Christmas with, we are ditching: presents, tree, decorations, home cooked Christmas dinner (we have booked dinner out), Christmas cake. We are keeping, special food treats, booze, board games and party games, many many fairy lights. YABU Christmas should not be meddled with YANBU Grown up households should pick the bits they like.

tellmewhentheLangshiplandscoz · 18/12/2022 18:28

Curious** no family nearby but maybe I could ask a nearby friend. Feels a bit cheeky though

tellmewhentheLangshiplandscoz · 18/12/2022 18:31

Good I enjoy hob/oven cooking more and other than energy efficiency (and I use above pretty efficiently) don't see the point and we've done ok with neither until now so think we're ok.

I could be persuaded to hire a microwave over Christmas for all the veg though

HappyOnion · 18/12/2022 18:32

Allergictoironing · 18/12/2022 18:18

I do hate this reductive take- makes it sound as if everyone was happily celebrating Yule and suddenly the Christians turned up and told them to stop it

Well yeah, sort of! Romans invaded most of Europe, let people worship their own gods and sort of tied them in a bit (loosely) with the Roman ones across all the provinces. A good example of this is the city of Bath, aka Aquae Sulis (waters of Sulis) named after a Celtic water goddess. They sort of associated Sulis with Minerva, so both were "official" deities there.

Then along came Emperor Constantine, who converted to Christianity and pushed the religion onto the entire Empire. Laws were slowly changed to discriminate against Pagans, and later emperors followed in his footsteps getting more and more anti-Pagan.

After the fall of the Roman Empire, in the UK there was a lot of see-sawing between Christianity & Paganism, but basically whoever ruled the country dictated what the religion should be. This wasn't just Pagan vs Christian, but from the 16th century for quite a while this included what FLAVOUR of Christianity you had to believe e.g. the Puritans banning Christmas and Easter celebrations.

You’ve missed the point I was making.

Christianity came to Britain (not for the first time but the main time) from around 600ad. Over generations people who had previously celebrated pagan festivals began to celebrate Christian festivals, but hung onto pagan practices as well. This wasn’t an example of appropriation (which was the word I objected to that PP used) but of people maintaining their own culture- they took up the new religion but kept their older practices as well. I cannot understand how that’s appropriation on any basis, it’s a baffling word to use.

I’m not aware of any large scale see-sawing between Christianity and paganism after this period- it was different flavours of Christianity all the way.

tellmewhentheLangshiplandscoz · 18/12/2022 18:33

Beyond** does that really work?!! Amazing if so.

Thanks 😊

> adds pud to tomorrow's Aldi list <

Babdoc · 18/12/2022 18:37

A lot of PPs seem to have misunderstood my earlier comment, and also are trying to claim that they celebrate a “non Christian” Christmas.
Let me clarify.
If you are Christian, you celebrate Christmas - the commemoration of the birth of our saviour.
If you are pagan, you celebrate Yule. And yes, it does go further back historically.
If you are atheist, you celebrate a winter bank holiday.
For those of us actually celebrating Christmas- aka the mass of Christ, the feast of the Nativity- only the religious components are essential. All the commercial crap is optional, and you only do whichever bits you like, enjoy or can be bothered with.
For atheists, the commercial stuff is all they have, plus the chance to spend time off with families, but again, don’t do the bits that exhaust you or you don’t enjoy. But I don’t see how you can call it Christmas, when for you it has nothing to do with Christ - the whole reason for the festival in the first place!

FourChimneys · 18/12/2022 18:44

I have to smile inwardly when people say "Ooh, you've got your Christmas lights up." I can rarely be bothered to say that they are solstice lights. If you are clearly white British there is an assumption that you celebrate Christmas from a Christian point of view. I doubt if it would be the same if you were clearly from a different culture and/or religion. There seems to be very little consideration for atheists, pagans, humanists etc.

The winter solstice is far more important to me than Christmas. I like to celebrate it quietly but meaningfully.

Allergictoironing · 18/12/2022 18:47

the whole reason for the festival in the first place!

But Christ's birth ISN'T the whole reason for the festival in the first place. It may be for you and most other Christians, but for others it's the a festival for the other reasons you suggest. People tend to call it Christmas, because that's a name that we all recognise as meaning this year end festival. It's only in very recent years that referring to Yule or even Solstice didn't get me blank looks, so I would use a term that people knew.

ISTR there were screams when some cities decided the term "Christmas" wasn't inclusive for those of other religions and wanted to call the festival by a generic name e.g. Winterval.

CaptainMyCaptain · 18/12/2022 18:50

SingaporeSlinky · 18/12/2022 10:33

Of course you can do what you like. You have the agreement of your family, so why does it matter what anyone else thinks?

This. Do what you like. Don't do it at all if you don't want to.

HootOwlStrikesAgain · 18/12/2022 18:54

Babdoc · 18/12/2022 18:37

A lot of PPs seem to have misunderstood my earlier comment, and also are trying to claim that they celebrate a “non Christian” Christmas.
Let me clarify.
If you are Christian, you celebrate Christmas - the commemoration of the birth of our saviour.
If you are pagan, you celebrate Yule. And yes, it does go further back historically.
If you are atheist, you celebrate a winter bank holiday.
For those of us actually celebrating Christmas- aka the mass of Christ, the feast of the Nativity- only the religious components are essential. All the commercial crap is optional, and you only do whichever bits you like, enjoy or can be bothered with.
For atheists, the commercial stuff is all they have, plus the chance to spend time off with families, but again, don’t do the bits that exhaust you or you don’t enjoy. But I don’t see how you can call it Christmas, when for you it has nothing to do with Christ - the whole reason for the festival in the first place!

This is all fixated on the fact that Christians renamed it. Most people don't care what it's called and it isn't connected to religion for them, it's just the midwinter festival that always existed, with lights and family and feasting etc. If you wish to attach a religious meaning to it then nobody cares, but don't complain that other people don't. History is very clear that it long proceeded Christianity and it will probably long outlive it as well.

HootOwlStrikesAgain · 18/12/2022 18:56

*preceeded!

🤣

HootOwlStrikesAgain · 18/12/2022 18:57

Allergictoironing · 18/12/2022 18:47

the whole reason for the festival in the first place!

But Christ's birth ISN'T the whole reason for the festival in the first place. It may be for you and most other Christians, but for others it's the a festival for the other reasons you suggest. People tend to call it Christmas, because that's a name that we all recognise as meaning this year end festival. It's only in very recent years that referring to Yule or even Solstice didn't get me blank looks, so I would use a term that people knew.

ISTR there were screams when some cities decided the term "Christmas" wasn't inclusive for those of other religions and wanted to call the festival by a generic name e.g. Winterval.

Exactly!!

JustGotToKeepOnKeepingOn · 18/12/2022 19:06

It's just me and DD - no family to spend Christmas with. We've never done board games, Christmas Eve boxes, elf on the shelf or matching pyjamas. I do her a stocking. We usually have a tree but I haven't done one this year. DD has never helped to decorate it, so I thought sod it. It's too much ££ and another job I could do without!

We have Christmas dinner, never bothered with Christmas cake or Christmas pudding. We tend to just chill out with chocolate treats after dinner.

It's all very low key. I don't really like Christmas. I find it a very lonely and depressing time of year. Roll on January!

Always4Brenner · 18/12/2022 19:06

The Yule winter solstice celebrations predate Christian tradition and I’m Christian I love history and have gone back to Holly garlands berries pine cones for my decorations I do have a tiny tree lent to me for this year my base has gone so couldn’t put mine up. Will get new one next year.

HappyOnions · 18/12/2022 19:16

@Allergictoironing Just reread my post and realised it sounded a lot ruder than I meant, apologies. Should have opened "That's sort of my point" rather than "You've missed my point" (my point being that early British Christians didn't appropriate Yule customs from the pagans, they were the same people, maintaining their own customs).

BeyondMyWits · 18/12/2022 20:03

tellmewhentheLangshiplandscoz · 18/12/2022 18:33

Beyond** does that really work?!! Amazing if so.

Thanks 😊

> adds pud to tomorrow's Aldi list <

Oh yes... you can even do the whole flambé thing if you want... pour some warm brandy over and set it alight whilst still in the frying pan... though one memorable year I set fire to the net curtains and singed my hair - but we don't talk about that....😁

tellmewhentheLangshiplandscoz · 18/12/2022 21:34

Ha! Exactly why I will miss out that step!

Looking forward to trying that. Thanks!

Wishawisha · 19/12/2022 08:08

We have super traditional food at Christmas because my DH loves it and insists on it (and does 99% of the cooking). If it was just me I’d scrap most of the Christmas food.

I love the tree, but I’d get a small one.

I know this sounds very sad but I’ve always been disappointed that I never got a Christmas on my own to do it all my own (low key) way. Prior to DH and DC - who are young so obviously doing the whole Christmas thing feels quite important - I always went back to my parents for Christmas .. I was always hoping I’d have a legitimate reason to avoid it one year.

It’s not that I hate Christmas. I love the fairy lights and Christmas music and Christmas TV I just hate the Christmas food so much.

Goodgrief82 · 19/12/2022 08:10

Wishawisha · 19/12/2022 08:08

We have super traditional food at Christmas because my DH loves it and insists on it (and does 99% of the cooking). If it was just me I’d scrap most of the Christmas food.

I love the tree, but I’d get a small one.

I know this sounds very sad but I’ve always been disappointed that I never got a Christmas on my own to do it all my own (low key) way. Prior to DH and DC - who are young so obviously doing the whole Christmas thing feels quite important - I always went back to my parents for Christmas .. I was always hoping I’d have a legitimate reason to avoid it one year.

It’s not that I hate Christmas. I love the fairy lights and Christmas music and Christmas TV I just hate the Christmas food so much.

Does your dh know? How the heck can he enjoy Christmas lunch knowing that his wife absolutely “hates” what she’s eating? 😐

Goodgrief82 · 19/12/2022 08:11

Surely Christmas food is rather…. Varied?!

drpet49 · 19/12/2022 08:12

No decorations or tree? Sounds shit to me

Wishawisha · 19/12/2022 08:55

Goodgrief82 · 19/12/2022 08:10

Does your dh know? How the heck can he enjoy Christmas lunch knowing that his wife absolutely “hates” what she’s eating? 😐

Show quote history

Oh I’m not sure that’s fair .. I’m just not really a foodie and could take or leave most meals really.

I enjoy the whole thing of course - sitting down together with carols in the background, pulling crackers, lighting the Christmas pudding .. I just will politely decline all the meat, the Christmas pudding, mince pies, Christmas cake.. etc. My DC actually quite like a lot of it though. DH doesn’t expect me to eat it.

In my dream Christmas on my own in my twenties that I never got I don’t think I would have served myself a single “meal” all day.

And it’s not even just Christmas Day. I’m at home then with DH and that’s fine - he doesn’t force feed me Turkey and bread sauce.. It’s all the visiting. Often you’re served up with a mini Christmas dinner or if not it’s mulled wine with mince pies and panetonne ..

mateysmum · 19/12/2022 09:03

There's some woman who writes for the Telegraph who has moved to France and has proclaimed that "Christmas is better in France", moaning about how in London she was over busy and had too many traditions which she admitted to choosing and adding to herself. Then waxing lyrical about how much simpler and better French Christmas is. But she could have made exactly the same choices in London, nothing to do with it being in France.

YANBU Do what you want, ditch the things that give you stress. This commercial idea of the "perfect" Christmas is rubbish. Enjoy OP.

upfucked · 19/12/2022 09:06

mateysmum · 19/12/2022 09:03

There's some woman who writes for the Telegraph who has moved to France and has proclaimed that "Christmas is better in France", moaning about how in London she was over busy and had too many traditions which she admitted to choosing and adding to herself. Then waxing lyrical about how much simpler and better French Christmas is. But she could have made exactly the same choices in London, nothing to do with it being in France.

YANBU Do what you want, ditch the things that give you stress. This commercial idea of the "perfect" Christmas is rubbish. Enjoy OP.

There is something ironic about someone making money by writing about their new non commercial lifestyle or maybe I mean hypocritically.

mateysmum · 19/12/2022 09:11

@upfucked
There is something ironic about someone making money by writing about their new non commercial lifestyle or maybe I mean hypocritically.

Bit like people leaving their royal lifestyles behind and then making money by non stop whining about it!🙄

ThreeblackCats · 19/12/2022 09:19

This year it’s just me and DH at home. We are going out on Christmas Eve for food, a really lovely gastro pub. We have our trees up inside and our outside decorations but not much else.
Christmas Day we will have a cold buffet and spend the day nibbling rather than cooking, cleaning and washing up.
So a very different kind of Christmas Day. The only difference is, we didn’t feel the need to ask social media if we as adults could do what suits us. You do you @PupInAPram you do not need anyone’s permission to do Christmas as you see fit. You want beans on toast then you do that. Have a great Christmas.