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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Second hand bike.

32 replies

Sugarfree23 · 18/12/2022 09:59

I'd arranged to buy a second hand bike from a friend. My kids have never seen the bike so wouldn't know it's origins. Any minor damage I'd planned to explain away 'oh no must have got scratched on the sleigh'

Except friends kid knows where their old bike is going. I'm almost certain friends kid will say something, we'll catch up with them between Christmas and New Year.

LO hasn't asked for a bike she's only asked for a couple of low cost toys. But older sis is getting a bike. I was feeling stuck at not having a big gift for LO and didn't want to pass off a hand me down from big sis.
Now I'm feeling stuck do I or don't I hand over the bike. If we say it's from us rather than Santa how do we explain any scratches?
I wish we'd not got oldest a bike at all instead waited for summer and handed DD1s bike down.

OP posts:

Ponoka7 · 18/12/2022 10:01

Does it have to be from Santa? How old is the child?

Notanotherusername4321 · 18/12/2022 10:04

Santa’s recycling. Bikes will do more than one child so to make sure everyone gets one some old ones are reused.

or simply say x didn’t need it so thought child may like it so she can cycle with her sister.

Original poster

Sugarfree23 · 18/12/2022 10:05

5 the kid I came from is 7.
I really didn't think my friend would tell her kid were the bike was going.

OP posts:

Martialisthebestpup · 18/12/2022 10:07

Santa is also worried about global warming and waste management so sometimes the elves fix up toys that older children have outgrown and then give them to other children at Xmas.

Martialisthebestpup · 18/12/2022 10:08

Get some new handlebar tape and maybe those beads for the spokes to explain the elves fixing up.

Schnooze · 18/12/2022 10:11

Just give both bikes from you and tell her it’s origins. Buy some accessories to jazz it up as a pp suggested.

Dox9 · 18/12/2022 10:12

In fairness to your friend if I was giving my dd's bike to a friend, I would definitely explain where it is going. My dd would want to keep it otherwise!
I wouldn't give this as a santa present to a 5 yo. 2 yo yes sure but not 5.

maeveiscurious · 18/12/2022 10:16

Schnooze · 18/12/2022 10:11

Just give both bikes from you and tell her it’s origins. Buy some accessories to jazz it up as a pp suggested.

Bell or horn in a box from Santa it will be a hit!

DogInATent · 18/12/2022 10:25

Who cares if it's not factory new? It's new to them. If there are any scratches, let them be involved in personalising it and making it theirs. Maybe get a new saddle and basket for it and make that part of the gift.

GetOffTheRoof · 18/12/2022 10:26

We got second hand bikes for Christmas from our parents. Dad had spray painted them in colours we'd like and put new tape on the handles (mine was a racer).

Gifts, especially for young kids, don't need to be brand new. Management of expectations is the key here - I'd tell them it's especially for them, add stickers to it that's personalising it for them maybe.

OneTC · 18/12/2022 10:38

Santa was just the middle man in this one.

DogInATent · 18/12/2022 10:59

OneTC · 18/12/2022 10:38

Santa was just the middle man in this one.

Santa is basically a franchise operation without the three-ring binder.

Original poster

Sugarfree23 · 18/12/2022 11:08

DogInATent · 18/12/2022 10:59

Santa is basically a franchise operation without the three-ring binder.

Show quote history

What do you both mean?

I'm feeling really guilty at giving one DD a new bike and having to explain a second hand bike to the other.
I can't even get away with blaming Santa.

If I'd got it from a stranger it would have been so much easier. Or just waited for summer and handed one down without any fuss.

OP posts:

SomethingOriginal2 · 18/12/2022 11:17

It was really shitty of your friend to tell her kid. I'd not buy it now and I'd buy one from fb market place off a stranger.

It will not be a nice situation for friends kid to tell yours that it was her bike first.

Schnooze · 18/12/2022 11:48

You are over thinking this. The 5 year old won’t care that one is new and one isn’t.
If on the off chance she does, just tell her she had something else to make up the cost difference,

NeedAHoliday2021 · 18/12/2022 11:58

My dc have always loved getting hands me downs - “I’ve got Sarah’s bike now yay!” type comments. I think you’re massively over thinking it and putting adult views on gifts. But Santa surely does stocking gifts so why is he giving bikes to your dc and chocolate and socks to mine. That’s far harder to explain in my opinion. My dc are getting bikes but from us.

DogInATent · 18/12/2022 12:06

@Sugarfree23
Learn to manage expectations, and ffs stop feeling guilty about giving your child a bike.

"I know you didn't ask for one, but we've adopted a bike that needed a new home and it's just the right size for you! We've/Santa's got you a new saddle and a bell and some stickers, and why don't we spend a day together over the holiday making it fell special and loved again?"

A normal five year old isn't going to care or feel bad that it's not new. Unless you make them feel bad spreading your unnecessary guilt.

Longtimelurkerfinallyposts · 18/12/2022 12:08

Always received second hand bikes/ trikes as a child. Wasn't bothered about it at all.
Every bike I had was much loved and ridden pretty much every day.
Our parents never felt the need to buy us brand-new bikes or lie to us about their origins.
Most 5yos won't care, and will just enjoy riding it, so unless you've brought up yours to be extremely snobby about second-hand things you have nothing to worry about.

SkankingWombat · 18/12/2022 12:30

My DCs are both getting second hand bikes for Xmas (6 & 8yo). It wouldn't occur to me this might be an issue, but we have a family culture of buying quite a bit second hand and then selling/giving things away when they've been outgrown. The bikes won't be the only second hand things they are getting this year, and they will be absolutely made up to have sized up. This week we will clean them, apply some tyre shine, replace the handlebar tape on one, and touch up any little chips with a Halfords kit for cars we've colour matched to. They will look great Xmas morning!

stargirl1701 · 18/12/2022 12:46

We always gave the big gifts from us and the vast majority of them were second hand anyway.

Rainpigeon · 18/12/2022 12:49

Spray paint it and customise it how your child will like it.

blueflagflyhigh · 18/12/2022 13:32

I'd ask ur friend can u make sure ur dc knows not to say anything about the bike.

IMO she shouldn't have told the child exactly where it was going. I would annoyed about that as it's our u in an awkward position. Just saying it was going to another home so that another child can use it and ur going to get x amount for it to spend on something else you would like.

If anything is said to ur child then u say no it's not their old bike but sometimes Santa does get given bikes that are no longer used to recycle and make new ones from.

Original poster

Sugarfree23 · 18/12/2022 15:09

@blueflagflyhigh @SomethingOriginal2 that it exactly its the other kid knowing the exact details. And the risk of other kid saying something.

My kids know stuff gets move on via charity shop or sold via marketplace for other kids. But I've never bought or sold with friends before. I won't ever be doing it again.

OP posts:

SamphirethePogoingStickerist · 18/12/2022 15:13

Just tell her Santa thought she might like a bike too and knew XX had one, so he dropped off her presents and brought her bike over to you... Look, he even added a brand new bell, basket.... whatever.

You are really overthinking it!

DogInATent · 18/12/2022 15:20

My kids know stuff gets move on via charity shop or sold via marketplace for other kids. But I've never bought or sold with friends before. I won't ever be doing it again.

Too posh for secondhand?

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