To think friend could be more sensitive?

[breadloaf]

I’ve been seeing someone for four months, I really liked him and he ended things about 2 weeks ago and I found out he’d been cheating. Monday is my birthday and he was suppose to take me away this weekend.

I decided to organise dinner with two friends. One of my friends who started dating her boyfriend not long after I did spent so much of this evening talking about how amazing her relationship is and what she’s bought him for Christmas etc

I’m not an idiot and I know people can talk about what they want …. But it was for my birthday, when she knows how shit I’ve felt.

Its like one friend being made redundant and you talking about your new promotion. She can obviously discuss her boyfriend but I felt tonight she could have just been more sensitive ..

YANBU

I’ve always tried to be very aware and sensitive to what others are feeling / going through. If I know a friend is going through financial problems and she’d like more help in the house I’ll be careful not to complain about how hard it is to find a good cleaner (as an example).

I always find it really hard when people are very insensitive!

YANBU but you should've told her.

"Oh Sarah read the room will you? I'm really not up for talking about men tonight. Let's change the subject".

Yanbu
To mention it once or twice is fair enough but to keep bringing it up is insensitive.

Does this friend know how you are feeling after your split? Perhaps she thought you were taking it in your stride and as on the outside seemed to be ok with it, it was ok to openly talk about her new partner? If she was aware you were feeling quite down about it, then yeah she was being insensitive. If not, then although yanbu to feel like it was insensitive, I think she maybe didn't 'read the room' accurately and assumed you were feeling better than you were.

Sometimes people need things spelled out to them. When I split from my ex a few years ago, one of my friends assumed I was fine when I wasn't. When I said to her, she was genuinely surprised as thought I was 'over him now'.

Yea I think that's very insensitive of her , she should have been trying to cheer you up not harping on about her bf

Sorry, I just reread your post and missed the part where you said she does know you were feeling shit 🤦‍♀️. In that case, you are most definitely not beimg unreasonable as it was extremely insensitive.

Maybe I should have done, I guess part of me was worried that if I said something it would make it awkward?

She also said how horrible dating apps are and she’s glad she doesn’t have to use them. I almost laughed out loud at that bit because I was like she cannot be serious.

No problem 😊. My post likely rambles on quite a bit

She also said how horrible dating apps are and she’s glad she doesn’t have to use them. I almost laughed out loud at that bit because I was like she cannot be serious.

Sorry I don't get this bit.

Did you both meet your boyfriends on dating apps?

OP YANBU - but you do realise you are going to get people coming on here to explain exactly why they’re think you’re very unreasonable, and it’s just going to make you feel a lot worse?

Well I just needed to get it out, as I’m sat alone in my house crying. If people think I’m wrong that’s ok.

Yeah she was a dick.

What's the wider picture here? Is this the straw that broke the camel's back, or is she usually wonderful and got carried away? I'm sure we've all been a dick unwittingly at times.