So.... my ex and I ended badly after a long relationship due to him leaving abruptly and ghosting me overnight. Later it transpired he went straight to the girl-from-works house and has lived there ever since. They are now married with children.
I had a nervous breakdown at the time and was suicidal. It was such a shock, it was absolutely the worst time of my life. I didn't see it coming. I mean the man used to physically shake with nerves/excitement when we 'made love' as I was just so 'amazing' and he was 'so in love' blah blah blah. Of course now I realise how odd that was but at the time I believed it all. I didn't doubt I wasn't his 'dream woman' as he told me so often I was. There is so Minch more to the story and the betrayal but I don't want to write a humongous message with every detail.
Anyway roll on years later. I still think of the trauma the situation caused me regularly. It was just so painful/humiliating/degrading that I literally cannot forget it. Not to be mistaken with me 'not being over him' . I detest the man and have no longing or pining for him. He turned out to be a very nasty person and my self worth is too important to me to let anyone treat me like that ever again. If anything the thought of him makes me feel sick.
The problem is I just can't seem to forget it all. Some days my mind goes over and over it. I have worked so hard to move forward and don't want to ruminate anymore. But it's useless to tell a trauma victim to 'forget it'. Or 'the past is in the past' I mean yes it is, but if I'd been abused by a parent or been in an accident I'm sure people wouldn't just say 'the past is gone now, forget it'.
I've had no contact at all and my ex and his new partner are blocked on all social media until a few days ago when I had a few glasses of wine, curiosity got the cat, and I unblocked the partner to have a quick nosey. Big mistake I know. But I'm human. I wonder sometimes if they're still together ect.
Anyway I was horrified to see that they have named their newborn daughter the same name as my few years old daughter. Before you think 'big deal' or 'just a coincidence' my daughters name is very very unusual. So much so she is the only person I know with that name. We took a name we liked and adapted a few of letters.
I wish I hadn't looked but I did, and now the thought of him having that name and saying it a million times a day to his daughter for the rest of his life really pisses me off.
It's tarnished something magical for me.
AIBU to think it's very very odd?
Please be kind in your responses.... no bashing me for 'not being over my ex'.