To feel annoyed re presents

[iwasaterribleteen]

Most years my kids (late teens/early 20s) buy me Christmas presents that I won't use.

When they are little you expect this, but now they are older it's a waste of their money!

So today they are going out shopping and I've been quite specific about what I want for Christmas. I've then heard them saying they may buy me gloves or sunglasses instead.

I've SO many pairs of gloves and a few pairs of sunglasses. I don't need any more.

I wouldn't get them things they don't want. It's a waste of my money and a disappointment for them!

I feel annoyed which has also made me feel guilty and ungrateful!

I think in this instance you should ask for the receipts alongside the gift. If not ask them to return them after Christmas. They will soon get the message.

Mine are older teens now. In our house we all do a wish list, sometimes with links to the item if it's something very specific.
That way everyone still gets a surprise but you know you're giving the person something they actually want.

Is this something you could start in your house?

Well...each year i get a bin bag full of expensive items from a bored rich friend who spends her days on amazon....all items are totally unsuitable, childrens toys, remote control squirrels and frogs, yellow bath ducks which swim and quack...I dont have a bath!!.. etc...i take the lot to local food bank to give away, i have never received anything useful, its a huge waste of money and i have to pretend to be excited and grateful, she is aware that i hate clutter and junk and no amount of hinting ever gets through to her !

In our family we have each have a year round “present ideas” what’s app group. Works well.

Thanks. Sorry I should have been clear. We have all put together a list on what's app with links to things we want, but still they want to get me things not on the list.

I know I should be grateful but I find it annoying!

Add ‘no gloves’ to list!

It’s not being ungrateful though. It’s thoughtless on their part and it makes extra work and stress for you, to receive gifts you don’t want and then have to either keep (cluttering up your house), or get rid of (which is effort and leads to guilt more often than not). I would speak to them personally and let them know. It doesn’t have to be grumpy or confrontational, but you’re not being unreasonable to express how you feel. It’s fine to say, I would really like something along the lines of xyz, and please do not get me things i really don’t want. You’re not being unreasonable or ungrateful at all!

Do some sorting out and leave a big pile of gloves and sunglasses on the table.

Do you not think they were just winding you up talking about gloves and sunglasses on the way out because they knew you could hear them?!

Can you post back on the WhatsApp no gloves or sunglasses please. And yes I would find this very annoying, it’s not like you’re being difficult - you’ve posted links!!

I do a wish list & add on 'i really do not need' to any list I know any older relatives get sent. My tastes have changed but their buying is stuck when I was 16-22 lol !
3rd now and my rather not list is finally being understood.
People mean well but when they get an idea it's hard to change

Can you request vouchers instead?

Are they trying to make you look "cooler" by replacing your "old lady gloves" with new ones? 🤔

Im the voice of bitter experience! 🤣

Personally I don’t really like very specific wish lists though. We are doing a family secret Santa this year with an app and SIL has put one link to a toaster that costs exactly the amount we said we’d spend. So I guess that’s what I’ll get her - no fun for me in choosing something nice for her and no surprise for her in wondering what she’ll get- seems a bit pointless!

Agree with others - specify what you DONT WANT as well as what you do.

I’ve told the young adults living here that they can buy a takeaway meal on Christmas Eve between them so that I don’t have to cook and don’t end up with clutter I don’t need.

Can you remind them that a gift is something the recipient wants or needs not what they think they need or is easiest to buy.

I've got my presents from. FD8 and DDog11 coming through the letterbox thick and fast. Admittedly paid for as well as chosen by me, but my Christmas sack is a bobbydazzler!

I haven't got old lady gloves and they weren't messing around.

I think they like to give me something they've come up with but I just don't want the things.