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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Should teachers be allowed to have hobbies?

129 replies

teacherwithhobby · 17/12/2022 13:41

First of all, I'm not a school teacher, but teach at an FE college. I don't teach music, but I play piano and sing in my spare time, do local open mic nights. I don't see that I'm doing anything wrong in this. I'm fully dressed when I'm performing, my music isn't anything overtly sexual, just a woman at a piano, and performing and meeting others around this hobby is part of my social life. I feel like this is looked down upon by colleagues, that I should be 100% dedicated to my work all the time and have no hobbies at all. I don't see that my hobby interferes with my job, I'm not a big drinker and wouldn't have anything on a work night if I'm playing somewhere in any case. Similarly, it doesn't cause any mid-week late nights. I've often felt like you aren't allowed to have any hobbies if you are a teacher, that it's looked down upon by some who are full-on martyrs. For example, I mentioned going for a run and my supervisor sniffily said 'I don't think you'll have time for going on any runs this week'. Really? I'm not allowed to take 30 minutes exercise in my day outside of working hours to take care of my physical and mental health, I should only ever think about work all the time? Seeing as relationships and children take up a lot more time and exertion than playing the piano or going for a run, should people be allowed to have either of these if they are teachers, or should some sort of vow of chastity be taken? Do any other teachers out there experience this, or am I in the wrong, I should 100% be dedicated to my job all the time, no hobbies allowed?

OP posts:
NEmama · 17/12/2022 13:58

Yanbu you're entitled to a life . Most teachers don't have time for things like that !

NiceViper · 17/12/2022 13:59

I think you've got pretty atypical colleagues tbh

LivIoe · 17/12/2022 14:01

Ignore. I once had my school receive a formal written complaint I had been playing in the snow on sledges with my own children on a snow day.
People tend to think they own teachers, just grow a thick skin and move on.

Alibabasonethief · 17/12/2022 14:02

teacherwithhobby · 17/12/2022 13:41

First of all, I'm not a school teacher, but teach at an FE college. I don't teach music, but I play piano and sing in my spare time, do local open mic nights. I don't see that I'm doing anything wrong in this. I'm fully dressed when I'm performing, my music isn't anything overtly sexual, just a woman at a piano, and performing and meeting others around this hobby is part of my social life. I feel like this is looked down upon by colleagues, that I should be 100% dedicated to my work all the time and have no hobbies at all. I don't see that my hobby interferes with my job, I'm not a big drinker and wouldn't have anything on a work night if I'm playing somewhere in any case. Similarly, it doesn't cause any mid-week late nights. I've often felt like you aren't allowed to have any hobbies if you are a teacher, that it's looked down upon by some who are full-on martyrs. For example, I mentioned going for a run and my supervisor sniffily said 'I don't think you'll have time for going on any runs this week'. Really? I'm not allowed to take 30 minutes exercise in my day outside of working hours to take care of my physical and mental health, I should only ever think about work all the time? Seeing as relationships and children take up a lot more time and exertion than playing the piano or going for a run, should people be allowed to have either of these if they are teachers, or should some sort of vow of chastity be taken? Do any other teachers out there experience this, or am I in the wrong, I should 100% be dedicated to my job all the time, no hobbies allowed?

Are you sure people think like this? Are you sure you aren’t misperceiving your colleagues opinions.

I think it sounds fab. Music is a fantastic outlet.

xyhere · 17/12/2022 14:04

It's similar in other fields. I work in tech, and I once had a boss tell me that I shouldn't be playing gigs because it interferes with work - after saying I couldn't cancel all my plans for a weekend to fix a project that he'd screwed up.

Ignore people like that. They're the ones for whom their work takes priority over everything else, and take solace in the fact that your life isn't that small.

Mumma · 17/12/2022 14:07

I know many teachers and other professionals in bands etc.... doesnt seem an issue

EthicalNonMahogany · 17/12/2022 14:07

I find it really hard to believe people would say you shouldn't have hobbies or go for a run. I think it's more likely that you are coming across as not really working hard enough or being as well prepared as you should or they see you as something of a clockwatcher. If your supervisor is talking about you "not having time" for things I would ask (nicely) what's behind that. "Hey supervisor, I was thinking over the weekend about what you said about me running- I want to check in that I'm doing all you expect and am managing my time successfully from your point of view?" It's better to clear it up now - with the added benefit that you are calling out potential passive aggression in a mature manner.

KickAssAngel · 17/12/2022 14:11

Some schools do have this attitude. I once had a head of school who complained that too many teachers were sitting in the lounge during lunch. Our unpaid, legally entitled lunch time.

Teaching is an important job, which is all the more reason why teachers should be well rounded, rested and able to work effectively instead of burning themselves out.

nosyupnorth · 17/12/2022 14:13

Every workplace has one workaholic/work-martyr type who never takes a break and acts like everyone else is slacking for having work life balance but if you percieve this from all sides then maybe consider if a) you are projecting your conflict with one or two people onto everyone, b) you are actually not meeting expectations in work and that's why people see you as a slacker/comment on expecting you to need to be doing overtime etc or c) you have somehow ended up in the toxic workplace from hell. But YABU to act like you don't know not being allowed a life is clearly an outlandish opinion and not reflective of most people's beliefs.

BuffaloCauliflower · 17/12/2022 14:16

LivIoe · 17/12/2022 14:01

Ignore. I once had my school receive a formal written complaint I had been playing in the snow on sledges with my own children on a snow day.
People tend to think they own teachers, just grow a thick skin and move on.

What the hell?!

Applesarenice · 17/12/2022 14:25

I’ve never experienced this as a teacher

Xenia · 17/12/2022 14:29

The starting point is the employment contract. Plenty do not allow a second job even teaching a child's football team at weekends without employer consent (and that is lawful to include in the contract by the way). I expect most teachers have no such restrictions but always check.

Teachers can certainly have hobbies. My chldren's father is a oragnist and music teacher. His weekend organist job is really useful for school stuff. My children's private schools seemed to like to have teachers with hobbies as that really helped with after school clubs and Saturday activities - the teachers could pick what they liked netball, stamp collecting or whatever it is and pass that hobbies enthusiasm over to the children

BlackFriday · 17/12/2022 14:31

Every school I've ever worked in actively encourages staff, particularly younger members, to take time out for themselves. It's only healthy.

Sparklythings1 · 17/12/2022 14:37

It takes over every aspect of your life. I feel like I’ve spent so many years being so overly sensible, watching what I post on Facebook, not drinking too much on a night out, driving carefully, wearing high neck tops (pretty much everywhere), that it’s sort of sucked any fun out of my life. I’m left a shell of the easy-going person I once was. I have no confidence left and have ended up having anxiety when I was never an anxious person before. For this reason I’m finally leaving this year 😩 join exit the classroom and thrive on Facebook, lots of us on there in the same boat. The group completely change my view on everything. It has made me realise the system is the problem and not me

Luredbyapomegranate · 17/12/2022 14:38

Don’t be daft. Your colleagues are weird.

losingit31 · 17/12/2022 14:39

It sounds like your colleagues would have loved to teach in Victorian times, when female teachers had to be unmarried.

BedTaker · 17/12/2022 14:40

For example, I mentioned going for a run and my supervisor sniffily said 'I don't think you'll have time for going on any runs this week'. Really?

My thought exactly....did your supervisor really say that?

I've worked in education for years and don't recognise anything you are saying. Your colleagues are weird.

PonyPatter44 · 17/12/2022 14:40

Its not my experience of teaching in FE at all! All my colleagues have had loads of interests outside, and we discussed them constantly. What a strange bunch of people you work with.

Luredbyapomegranate · 17/12/2022 14:40

Sparklythings1 · 17/12/2022 14:37

It takes over every aspect of your life. I feel like I’ve spent so many years being so overly sensible, watching what I post on Facebook, not drinking too much on a night out, driving carefully, wearing high neck tops (pretty much everywhere), that it’s sort of sucked any fun out of my life. I’m left a shell of the easy-going person I once was. I have no confidence left and have ended up having anxiety when I was never an anxious person before. For this reason I’m finally leaving this year 😩 join exit the classroom and thrive on Facebook, lots of us on there in the same boat. The group completely change my view on everything. It has made me realise the system is the problem and not me

I mean, I think quite a lot of this IS you. I can’t think of any teachers I know who worry about this stuff any more than the doctors / lawyers / local small business owners I know, which is a bit, but not much.

TheYearOfSmallThings · 17/12/2022 14:41

Your colleagues are weirdos. I have friends who are teachers - one is a deputy head who also runs a small catering business. One also teaches yoga, and one is big in am dram. They are all the better at their jobs for having lives (and in 2 cases families) outside work.

AtomicBlondeRose · 17/12/2022 14:41

I work in a college and plenty of people have hobbies - not only that but we are encouraged to share them with others eg by doing yoga classes (for staff), choir, five a side, staff walks etc. I wouldn’t say my work is a shining example for work-life balance particularly but it’s certainly expected that we have and enjoy a life outside work.

TheYearOfSmallThings · 17/12/2022 14:44

It has made me realise the system is the problem and not me.

No, truthfully you are fretting about things you don't need to give any thought to. Definitely a good move to try something different!

LydiaBennetsUglyBonnet · 17/12/2022 14:44

NiceViper · 17/12/2022 13:59

I think you've got pretty atypical colleagues tbh

You’ve clearly never worked in a school! Teachers are weird 😂

SomeBeings · 17/12/2022 14:45

YABU and daft. I don't think anyone thinks teachers shouldn't have hobbies. It's odd that you think people say that.
The comment about you not having time for a run is odd but maybe just a comment because it's a really busy week. It doesn't mean they are disapproving.

GoldenCagedBird · 17/12/2022 14:46

Teaching is full of presenteeist martyrs at all levels. That’s why I’ve resigned on maternity and will not be a ‘class teacher’ ever again.

I got similar comments for my hobbies and private life and had it dragged up if I forgot to mark a set of books or they believed I wouldn’t meet a deadline.

It’s the pits. Lots of blaming of the ‘government’ and ‘ofsted’ but the competitive workload and misery is very much fed from within by bad working culture and insane management.