Depression and life

[Aljb02]

I’ve been put back on sertraline, referred back to talking therapies for the millionth time and a referral to mental health team.

im struggling badly. I don’t want to go to work but I have to as I don’t get sick pay and can’t afford to not have a wage.

im falling behind on all of the house work and have no motivation at all. I still need to do Christmas shopping and wrapping. I’m so tired and my energy is completely gone.

I used to be out and about all the time with our little boy but I don’t do that as much now, I don’t wanna go out with friends and my relationship with my husband is cracking.

we want to try for baby number 2 but my sex drive is gone. I know he’s really struggling with my lack of drive so I am trying to still engage but I struggle. We had a chat last night about it and it broke my heart to see him that way. He was so sad that My sex drive has gone and I’m not affectionate, and he thinks I don’t find him attractive. I feel he’s given me the cold shoulder.

I’ve tried to reassure him and make he see that I do love him. He knows what’s going on with me too.

any advice please? AIBU to be completely overwhelmed and worried about it all

Sorry to hear you are suffering like this. Does your husband understand the extent of your illness? Could you start taking some small steps towards positivity such as a walk in the par/countryside? Have you family members or a friend you can confide in ?

My husband doesn’t understand my depression, I told him tonight that I’m fed up with waking up every morning, I told him I’m going to kill myself, not today but sometime in the future as I have no reason to live, chronic health issue, sat in day after day, don’t see a single person, unable to work due to health although have worked all my life, I’m redundant, even my grown children can’t be bothered with me anymore, haven’t seen grandchildren for 5 weeks so they won’t miss me either, fed up with tablets, telephone appts, useless doctors who are so disinterested it’s unbelievable. Yeah life is shit

I personally didn't find that meds did anything for me. I kept repeating to myself that it was just the hormones, that I have the ingredients for happiness. When I had baby number 2 I plunged again, but seeing them play together is wonderful.

@Lemonlady22 I'm so sorry you're suffering.

@Lemonlady22 I am sorry to hear that you are suffering like this. Have the GPs you've spoken to not referred you to a Mental Health clinician or talking therapies?This needs to be the starting point for you.
You matter , you are important, you deserve to be happy. Please don't forget that.
Hugs to you.

@Aljb02 very sorry to hear this. You may have PND. Has this been discussed? I wouldn't worry about your sex drive or the house work ( 1 little job a day, small steps).
You need to concentrate on getting yourself better and putting you first. You owe it to yourself.
Hugs to you

Tough love, but you need to get your priorities in order. EG:

im falling behind on all of the house work and have no motivation at all.

Why can’t your partner do this and support you?

I still need to do Christmas shopping and wrapping.

Again, this is really not important in the grand scheme of life? If it is such a big deal, get your partner to do the shopping. Wrapping is not a priority at all.

I’m so tired and my energy is completely gone.
this should be your priority. You need to strip right back to basics and make sure you’re eating and drinking healthily and getting enough sleep.

We had a chat last night about it and it broke my heart to see him that way. He was so sad that My sex drive has gone and I’m not affectionate, and he thinks I don’t find him attractive.

sorry but who cares? Why have you had the above conversation with him, when you should have discussed what you wrote in your OP? If he doesn’t understand why you’ve withdrawn, you should have explained your point of view that you’re going through a mental health crisis. The focus of the conversation should NOT have been attraction to him or lack of sex. Does he understand how significantly your mental health has deteriorated? Have you told him?