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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Advice with baby's eating please

16 replies

miawallace33 · 17/12/2022 07:34

I know there's a board for this but posting here for traffic. I'm getting really stressed and worried about my 8 month old dd eating. Weaning isn't going well, she barely eats anything and when she does it has to be very smooth purées, no textured stuff. She's also started refusing and fussing with bottles. I don't know if I'm giving her too much or too little. This is what she has in a day and how she takes it. Any advice would be so appreciated:

4-5am - wakes up for first bottle of the day, roughly 5-6oz. No issues with this one then she'll go back to sleep.

7-8am - breakfast. Usually porridge, fruit or dairy free yoghurt (she's got CMPA so we are diary free weaning). She will eat some of this but not much.

9:30 - a small bottle before her morning nap, usually about 4oz if that.

12-1pm - by this point I'd expect her to be really hungry but she never seems too bothered. She will take a bottle eventually but after lots of fussing and usually only around 4oz again.

2pm - I try her with lunch at this point. Some puréed veg or something like that usually. She will have a few bites if I'm lucky but more often than not it's a total waste of time. She'll just make mess and not actually eat anything. I used to try her with this at 12-1pm but she'd never have anything then either and it would worry me that she'd gone so long without a feed so I gave her a bottle then instead so at least she was having something.

4pm - depending on if she's eaten anything at 2 I may offer another bottle here but it's hit and miss.

5pm - a small snack before bath time - toast or a yogurt. Again, hardly eats anything.

6pm - bottle before bed. This one is usually ok and she'll have a good 5-6oz then sleep well.

11pm - I try to feed her again before I go to bed but she often fusses with this one. If I persist she will take it so she's clearly hungry but maybe doesn't appreciate being woken up for it? I don't know. If she takes this bottle she'll then sleep through until the 4-5am bottle.

Thank you if you read all of that! I know it looks like a lot but because she hardly takes anything at every feed I feel like I have to offer little and often. It's a pain in the ass as it feels like we are constantly stopping to feed and she's never that bothered about eating anyway. I'm worried she can sense my stress and it'll give her negative habits and feelings around food.

I do persist a bit with her bottles because she needs them! I know some would say you shouldn't do this but it's sometimes like she's messing about she will have it in the end. I don't force it in her mouth or anything but I do keep offering until she takes it. I don't know why she's like this. My other dc always ate brilliantly and took what was offered. She is much smaller and putting weight on at a much slower rate which I guess is why I'm so worried about it all. She has wet and dirty nappies which is a good sign but does this sound like enough over the course of a day for an 8 month old. We're talking under 30oz of milk and a tiny tiny amount of food here.

OP posts:
Sceptre86 · 17/12/2022 07:46

Have you spoken to your hv? In my area babies with cmpa are usually referred to see a dietician. Is that service available in your area? Find out, speak to the gp too. Are there any groups you can join for babies with cmpa that can give you support?

I didn't want to read and run, I'm hoping my post will give this a bump so someone with more experience can help you.

NEmama · 17/12/2022 07:54

Try her with the solid food before the milk

HollyBerri · 17/12/2022 07:59

I thought the same - try her with solid food first before the milk and see how that goes.

Claireshh · 17/12/2022 08:01

My now 13 year old was a nightmare with weaning. She would clamp her mouth shut, turn her head etc. Like you I really worried. With my daughter I am certain it was related to teething.

all I can say is not to worry too much. Don’t make meal times stressful as that could create a bigger problem.

I would do food at 12. Even if she doesn’t eat much it doesn’t matter. I would then give a bottle when going down for her nap.

Snack after waking if needed.

Dinner 4.30/5pm then milk at bedtime and then 11pm one.

Daily routine
On waking bottle
I would then shower then go downstairs for breakfast
sleep
lunch at 12
bottle 12.30/1
sleep
dinner 4.30/5
bath
bottle 7pm
11pm feed

MilkyYay · 17/12/2022 08:07

Try waiting to see when she is actually hungry?

It seems like you are offering her food milk on a schedule based on when you think she needs it. She needs to have an opportunity to feel hunger, express that to you & make the connection that eating makes the hunger go away.

SomethingOriginal2 · 17/12/2022 08:10

Try dropping the 12-1 bottle. She doesn't seem to want it and she may eat better later. If she seems hungry then give her it but just because she'll take a bottle after you persevere doesn't mean she actually wants/needs it.

MogTheForgetableCat · 17/12/2022 08:15

I wouldn't worry about how much food she's eating - she can get everything she needs from milk at this age, so food is about exploring and having fun. Making a mess is all part of it.

talkingmorenonsense · 17/12/2022 08:16

Milk is still the main nutrition for an eight month old. Weaning is more about exploring food, textures, flavours and learning about meal times. If you can, start including your baby in family meal times, where they can see others eating and enjoying social time together. Try your very best to hide any anxiety about your child’s eating, as children immediately pick up on how parents are feeling.

MilkyYay · 17/12/2022 08:17

Also was your other DC a boy? You need to recalibrate, baby girls eat far less ime.

miawallace33 · 17/12/2022 08:20

Thank you all, really helpful comments. I have seen our dietician in regards to her CMPA and they did give me some advice on foods to try her with but not much on what to do if she won't take it!

I have started offering bottles in place of food because she wasn't eating the food regardless and at least with the bottles I know she's getting some sort of nutritional benefit. She is on Neocate which is notoriously smelly, yucky stuff so I'm wondering if she's now realising just how gross it tastes now she's been exposed to other flavours and maybe that's why she's fussing with her bottles a bit too.

I guess I'm just wondering if what she's having now is ok/enough for her age? Due to her low weight I have always been very paranoid about her eating well and gaining weight. She is within normal range now but I worry that she will drop again if she doesn't have more. Not to mention the developmental issues of just not eating food.

OP posts:
WashableVelvet · 17/12/2022 08:23

Maybe she’s naturally a smaller person and so is taking enough for her smaller needs, compared to your older one? It isn’t necessarily a problem.
I’d offer food whenever you yourself are eating - a bit of yours on a plate and ignore whether it gets eaten or not - plus the purées as it sounds like those work for you. That way you know she’s exposed to different tastes and textures and sees you enjoying them whether or not she actually eats them.

Tricky on the bottles, you’d naturally most like to lose the 4am bottle but it sounds like the midday one is what baby would prefer to lose!

Cantbebotheredwithchores · 17/12/2022 08:38

I always fed when hungry, not to a schedule.
At 8 month when my baby wasn't fussed on her milk at around that time I dropped that feed and offered food at usual meal times. Then offered her milk afterwards. By 8 month she was having 3 'meals' per day.
Always had a morning and evening milk and mixed in with her breakfast, then milk as a snack in between.

LittleBearPad · 17/12/2022 08:46

I wouldn’t wake her at 11pm.

ExtraOnions · 17/12/2022 08:51

We did Baby-led weaning (started with jars, and spoon feeding, but that didn’t work for us). I would sit her in her chair, put the food in the tray, and let her get on with it. She could be there for half an hour with fruit & yogurt, some went in, some didn’t, but she soon got better with it. They do stop eating when they are full, and with tiny tums, this can be a lot less than you might think

Cantbebotheredwithchores · 17/12/2022 09:47

Also my daughter never got over 22-24oz of formula. She never wanted it, this was even before weaning, she was gaining weight well along her centile.
She would never have took 30oz. Babies are good at self regulation and I certainly wouldn't be waking her up at 11pm for milk

miawallace33 · 17/12/2022 12:56

I wake her because she'd previously always wanted it at that time and it means she then gets a solid sleep through til 4-5am and I do too.

If I stop it I think she'll wake up at around 1 and then maybe won't settle as well again however I will give it a try

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