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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Just called out ex partner on his shitty behaviour and he's going nuts!

25 replies

ohmygoodnessnotagain · 16/12/2022 12:33

So we got chatting and the relationship is over a few weeks now.It ended when I got sick of his shitty behaviour, ignoring me, stonewalling me, silent treatment and punishing me a few times by leaving weekends away on 2 occasions and insisting we went home when he had his tantrums or I called him out on something. I dumped him and feel massive relief.I have him blocked on everything bar one platform that I hadn't even thought he'd find me on. So he found me and tried to tell me that he would have been there for me in a specific circumstance, if I'd asked, among many other explanations trying to justify his behaviour. The thing is , he has rewritten the entire narrative of his behaviour! It's like he has completely obliterated facts and has tried to twist and change stuff.Only because I know that it's real and these things really did happen, I'd begin to question my own judgement.What a headfuck!!! NO apology,accountability or honesty.... just an attempt to justify his own behaviour and blame me for not asking for help. I have been brutally honest with him as he wasnt getting the hints that he was tight with money and an unequal partner ...so I spat it out. He went absolutly nuts!! Told me to fuck myself, he's never spoken to me like that before, ever. Called me nasty etc etc. I told the truth.I told him exactly what he was like and when presented with the honest truth, he went ballistic..almost like an alter ego. Like I was talking about some one he didnt know. Am I missing something here ????

OP posts:
Wdib78 · 16/12/2022 12:36

Just block him on that platform and walk away, some people are narcissistic and will never see their true self. Take care you're worth so much more.

Christmasnero · 16/12/2022 12:38

Just block him and it’s done
it doesn’t matter what he thinks about you.

TimeForTeaAndG · 16/12/2022 12:43

Block and ignore. Of course he's rewriting the narrative,otherwise he'd have to see himself as the bad guy.

You're clearly better off without him so don't let him live in your head rent free. The phrase "what a prick" springs to mind.

But well done on giving him what for 👍

Mindymomo · 16/12/2022 12:44

Now you’ve seen the real side of him, thank goodness you’ve ended it. Agree with previous posters, block him on everything, don’t give him the time of day unless you want to be constantly harassed.

MinnieGirl · 16/12/2022 12:45

When someone shows you who they really are… believe them.

Block him on this last platform and congratulate yourself on being a strong woman who escaped a nasty self centred man

Myusernameisunique · 16/12/2022 12:48

Block him and run. I ended an almost 2 year relationship with someone like this about 6 months ago and looking back I don't know how I stuck it out for so long. He was awful. I've had many messages like the one you describe and have just read them and thanked my lucky stars I managed to break away. I was so miserable and it affected my mental health so much. I'm an entirely different person now he's gone! Be grateful he continues to show you his true colours and ignore him.

Lost123454 · 16/12/2022 12:51

Move on

Livedandlearned · 16/12/2022 13:02

Don't go back he's show you what he's capable of

Georgeskitchen · 16/12/2022 13:10

He's confirmed he's a twat. You owe him nothing. Block and run.
Just be thankful he showed his true colours early on and saved you a lot of aggravation!!

Greyarea12 · 16/12/2022 13:17

Yeah your well rid. What you describe at the beginning is abuse. What you describe about the changing the narrative etc is gaslighting which is a form of abuse. He's abusive. Good riddance. Don't entertain him. Block & ignore.

Sparkletastic · 16/12/2022 13:28

The truth hurts. Well done on dumping him.

Windtunnel · 16/12/2022 13:45

If you can be bothered you cd analyse his behaviour and diagnose him with something - he was obviously hugely defensive and has anger issues- but im not a shrink so apart from massive emotional immaturity I wouldn't know what.
It's not you it's him and I am sorry this happened to you xx

Theunamedcat · 16/12/2022 13:49

Your missing the block button

No kids together? BLOCK
Kids together? Mute and grey rock

Octo5 · 16/12/2022 13:51

There’s your truth, his truth and the real truth.

Neither of you will ever agree to each other’s versions of the truth.

Hopefully you felt better getting it out but he’ll never admit to all of his faults and you’ll end up driving yourself mad and getting more stressed like you are now.

You’ve said you piece so now ask him not to contact you again and block him on everything.

I assume you don’t have kids?

chevvyroo · 16/12/2022 14:20

Tell him the sex was crap as well and then block completely Grin

pilates · 16/12/2022 14:23

narcs never believe their bad behaviour

Notimeforaname · 16/12/2022 14:36

Stop talking to him.

Anothernamechange1010 · 16/12/2022 15:27

chevvyroo · 16/12/2022 14:20

Tell him the sex was crap as well and then block completely Grin

😂

Crumpleton · 16/12/2022 15:31

Message back
"I rest my case"

ohmygoodnessnotagain · 16/12/2022 18:45

No kids thank Christ.This guy is mid forties and divorced.

OP posts:
Wheredoallthepensgo · 16/12/2022 18:53

Classic narcissist.

Be glad you've got rid, that's all.

You could read up on it so you can spot the next one better but don't drive yourself mad. He wants to be your focus. Don't let him back in.

PennyRa · 16/12/2022 19:01

You saw things your way, he saw things his way, an outside observer would probably see things differently to both of you. It doesn't matter, it's over so you both can move on

Mummieslncorporated · 16/12/2022 19:20

I had a similar experience with my ex.

I got rid, and a year later he phoned me suggesting we move back in together. When I said no (in a much nicer way than he deserved tbh), he completely turned on me, telling me I was the worst person he had ever known. Surprising he wanted to move in with me in that case...

Pay no attention. He wants to rewrite your history and doesn't like that you aren't going along with it. Block him. If you are anything like me, you'll laugh about this in time.

dolor · 16/12/2022 19:24

"you are shit in bed, go use a wanksock."

And then block.

GroggyLegs · 16/12/2022 19:27

You felt relieved that it was over & he's confirmed it was the right move. Take that as closure & hope that you never have to see or hear from him again.

Don't get into a discourse, there's nothing to gain from replying, other than the thrill of unnecessary drama.

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