Page 2 | To ask partner to do nursery pick up instead of me?

sickwithcovid · 2022-12-16T11:09:18+00:00

I've tested positive for covid this morning. I feel genuinely really unwell. Drove into work (not sure how I made it, felt very spaced out and unwell). Tested at work, was positive, so drove straight home. I did nursery drop off on my way to work. Partner finishes work at lunch time today. His plan was to go straight out with work mates for his Christmas do, and he planned to be home early evening ish (7pm or thereabouts). The thought of getting back out of bed where I currently am, and driving the hour round trip to my nursery at 4.30pm is making me want to cry (the nursery is next to my work and I work 30 mins away). WIBU to ask partner if he will do this instead, and go to his works do a bit later? Or go to his works do for a bit, not drink alcohol, drive to get our DC, drop them off at home with me and go back out for a few drinks? I don't want to ask him to miss his works do but honestly I feel horrific. No other family to ask for help either.

Sirzy · 16/12/2022 12:32

sunflowerdaisyrose · 16/12/2022 11:23

Are you able to look after your child? Is the child old enough to lie with you and watch a film? If so, I'd ask him to collect earlier and bring home before starting his celebrations. If not, I think he should collect them as late as possible and come back and stay to look after them.

This

Original poster

sickwithcovid · 16/12/2022 12:33

Anewhoo · 16/12/2022 12:12

Can he pick up the child early from nursery, drop them back and then go to the party? If he’s back at 7, then you won’t have too long looking after the child before bed. I know it sucks, we all went down with it last year, but if it’s only a few hours, would seem a shame to miss the party. I would suggest this option to my husband if roles were reversed and he was happy looking after the child for a few hours.

Yeah I could suggest this. She usually has her tea at nursery so it would mean me sorting that out instead if she came home early, but I could manage something quick and simple.

OP posts:

TimeForTeaAndG · 16/12/2022 12:35

I would message before he finishes his shift so it's there when he sees his phone and he already knows what's going on. If he's going out straight from work then best that he isn't already driving in the wrong direction or anything when you call him.

MintyGreenDreams · 16/12/2022 12:38

Best option would be he picks dc straight up after shift and then goes out

Skyeheather · 16/12/2022 12:40

You should have picked her up when you drove home then you'd both be at home and your DP could enjoy his Christmas night out.

If he says no can't you go now, while it's daylight and before the rush hour?

Original poster

sickwithcovid · 16/12/2022 12:51

@Skyeheather

If I'd picked her up when I left work this morning I'd have had to find the energy to look after her all day myself instead of resting in bed. Which wouldn't have helped me.

OP posts:

Glitterandcard · 16/12/2022 12:51

Skyeheather · 16/12/2022 12:40

You should have picked her up when you drove home then you'd both be at home and your DP could enjoy his Christmas night out.

If he says no can't you go now, while it's daylight and before the rush hour?

OP is “zoning in and out” with “burning eyes”. Unless you’d also advocate someone drink or drug driving or driving so exhausted they fall asleep I think suggesting OP drives, even in daylight, is highly irresponsible and easily a collision waiting to happen.

Original poster

sickwithcovid · 16/12/2022 12:52

I've just spoken to him, he's on his way home and said we will make a plan from there. He's happy to collect her but wants to try and get out for a few drinks as well later on. Seems a good compromise.

OP posts:

girlmom21 · 16/12/2022 12:53

sickwithcovid · 16/12/2022 12:52

I've just spoken to him, he's on his way home and said we will make a plan from there. He's happy to collect her but wants to try and get out for a few drinks as well later on. Seems a good compromise.

Maybe not such a crap relationship after all, hey!
MN is batshit today.

Hope you feel better

TheChurchOfEli · 16/12/2022 13:08

girlmom21 · 16/12/2022 12:53

Maybe not such a crap relationship after all, hey!
MN is batshit today.

Hope you feel better

Show quote history

Batshit is right, it's getting worse by the day.

I mean, we've all felt frazzled and drained and not thinking straight. Jumping down a poor mums throat with 'crap relationship ahhaha' is just gross! I hope these pricks calm down a bit with some time off over xmas.

Get well soon OP xx

Season0fTheWitch · 16/12/2022 13:51

You obviously can't go into the nursery with covid, ideally your DC should come home immediately!

Usernamen · 16/12/2022 14:06

Do people who have access to Covid tests generally get them free at work? I’m just curious. They’re always piled high in my local pharmacy and I’ve never seen anyone buy one. I appreciate there’s a cost of living crisis and if you’re worried about putting food on the table, you’re not going to spend £9 on tests willy nilly, but I find it interesting. I would like my workplace to provide them (stingy sons of bitches…) - is this something lots of workplaces are already doing?

Doowop1919 · 16/12/2022 14:09

Yanbu. Part and parcel of having kids, sometimes we have to give up our own fun to be there in situations like this.

Unbridezilla · 16/12/2022 14:15

Notanotherone6 · 16/12/2022 12:23

You know you have a crap relationship when you have to ask Mumsnet if your child's father should pick her up, instead of asking him.

Or perhaps they have a lovely supportive relationship where both parties want to support the other in what they want to do, no matter how trivial.

OP knows her H has been looking forward to the Christmas do and therefore feels a bit crap that she is asking him to miss part of it. I know I feel the same when we have any clash as does my partner, it's what being a team means.

girlmom21 · 16/12/2022 14:25

Usernamen · 16/12/2022 14:06

Do people who have access to Covid tests generally get them free at work? I’m just curious. They’re always piled high in my local pharmacy and I’ve never seen anyone buy one. I appreciate there’s a cost of living crisis and if you’re worried about putting food on the table, you’re not going to spend £9 on tests willy nilly, but I find it interesting. I would like my workplace to provide them (stingy sons of bitches…) - is this something lots of workplaces are already doing?

We get them free at work

Original poster

sickwithcovid · 16/12/2022 14:25

Usernamen · 16/12/2022 14:06

Do people who have access to Covid tests generally get them free at work? I’m just curious. They’re always piled high in my local pharmacy and I’ve never seen anyone buy one. I appreciate there’s a cost of living crisis and if you’re worried about putting food on the table, you’re not going to spend £9 on tests willy nilly, but I find it interesting. I would like my workplace to provide them (stingy sons of bitches…) - is this something lots of workplaces are already doing?

I work for the NHS and they supply them at work for us.

OP posts:

Original poster

sickwithcovid · 16/12/2022 14:27

DP is going to get DD a little early, giving her some tea at home and then getting her sorted for bed before handing over to me for bedtime so he can go out for the last part of the evening. Gives me a good 3-4 hrs to try and sleep this off a bit! Thanks everyone for your comments.

OP posts:

NOACF · 16/12/2022 14:37

Of course you should ask him and he absolutely should be happy to do it. But MN is weird. There was a similar thread the other day from someone who was 11 weeks pregnant with 2 toddlers who'd spent the previous night in A&E with one of them with scarlet fever and had no sleep, and she was absolutely slated for suggesting her DP could come home early from a night out to help her out rather than staying away overnight, and told his night out was more important. Like I said MN is weird!

girlmom21 · 16/12/2022 14:38

NOACF · 16/12/2022 14:37

Of course you should ask him and he absolutely should be happy to do it. But MN is weird. There was a similar thread the other day from someone who was 11 weeks pregnant with 2 toddlers who'd spent the previous night in A&E with one of them with scarlet fever and had no sleep, and she was absolutely slated for suggesting her DP could come home early from a night out to help her out rather than staying away overnight, and told his night out was more important. Like I said MN is weird!

MN is really weird, like when people blatantly don't read the OP's updates, especially on short threads

Tillow4ever · 18/12/2022 11:39

Glad you got something sorted, although I really hope by you dropping at nursery you haven’t managed to pass your germs on to everyone there and everyone gets sick for Christmas.

in case anyone is reading this who doesn’t have children or a nursery yet, this thread shows why a piece of advice I was given was absolutely spot on. Pick a nursery close to your home, not to your work. That way, if you are off work for any reason (sick, annual leave, working from home, etc) you can still easily drop your child into nursery without having two long round trips at either end of the day. It’s also less time in the car for your child (which if you need them to stay awake at the end of the day so they sleep that night is an absolute godsend)!

hope you recover quickly OP.

Wowreallynow · 21/12/2022 10:53

Wow. She already explained that she barely even made it home. Why should she risk DCs safety? Dad should 100% pick up the child. You are with someone in sickness and health and unfortunately this is the sickness part of it. And he’s a parent too. I guarantee if he was sick, she would be expected to miss out.