To find my next door neighbour repulsive

[gjkufbb]

This is somewhat lighthearted. But I've been bed ridden with the flu all week and I'm fed up of him.

He farts SO loud. Constantly. I can hear it through the walls. And it's all day every day. I can hear it even when my tv is on.

If I were his wife I'd be so grossed out. Surely you don't need to be that loud about 20 times a day. I often hear him laughing afterwards too. A grown man 🙄 I know some people find it funny. But I just don't want to listen to somebody else's farts all bloody day long

Hmmmm, can't help but wonder if you live next to my dad!
He's a lovely little old soul, about the size of a gnome and looks like Santa - unfortunately his farts are the size of a giants!

He honestly can't help it as it's due to an illness he has (allegedly) but he was in the supermarket with me the other day (ironically on the toiletries aisle) and he was stood there looking all sweet and innocent and all of a sudden it was like a thunderblast went off next to me and he didn't even bat an eyelid - just demurely said "Excuse me!" in a little polite voice! It doesn't help that he's partially deaf and I don't think he realises how earsplitting his A*sewind Orchestra is!
I was horrified as a man who had been stood a few feet away at the end of the aisle scuttled off laughing loudly

I've never been more glad my neighbour is deaf since reading this thread 🤣 paranoid they can hear me fart now!