Work Christmas party AIBU?

[whatstheproblemguys]

So I started a new job in September. I really enjoy my new place and like my colleagues on the whole.
Tomorrow it's our work Christmas do, which we paid £45 to attend. I had agreed to share a taxi with one of my colleagues, so that we can both have a drink. I messaged said colleague yesterday to say that I was thinking of driving instead, as I am going to be driving a long way on Saturday morning and didn't want to be hanging or even potentially still drunk. Colleague said I was boring, not to drive that we should both drink and just stop around 11ish. There's only about 25 members of staff going, and I'm the only one she really has much to do with. I gave in and left it there.
Now today my DD (age 3) is unwell. She is asthmatic and struggling to maintain the 4 hours without needing her inhalers.
Husband is going to his work do tomorrow too, which he can't get out of as it starts as part of his work day and will go on after. He won't be home until after mine starts and had arranged a to get family member to babysit (she's 19).

I feel really uneasy about leaving my DD home, unwell and knowing that she could potentially could get worse quickly, and me going out to a party. Would I be silly not to go? Or am I being dramatic?

If your colleague was to bail on you at the last minute, would you think they were BU?

She just said that she can't get an Uber and doesn't like using taxi firms. So I agreed to pick her up, drive her to mine and us get a taxi from there (which is actually closer to the venue then her).

I've messaged her this evening. I've told her that DD is unwell but at the moment I'm still going ahead with plan A (the original taxi plan), plan B will be if she is any worse tomorrow, I'll drive, leave as late as I can so that we aren't late for the dinner and so that my babysitter has her for the shortest possible time before DH gets home and plan C will be if she's lots worse I'll have to cancel.
Luckily she said she has an asthmatic daughter too and understand how stressful it can be when they aren't well, especially when they are so little and can't really explain it. She said not to worry about her, she will be fine and to just update her as soon as I know what the plan is.
Which is really lovely of her!

Lovely colleague, hope your daughter gets well soon.

Go, Drive, Stay Sober, Give her a lift.

Isn't she! So glad I was honest with her. She literally said 'being a mum is both the best and hardest job there is'

I'm so glad it worked out. You did really well explaining it all and offering solutions and she sounds lovely.

When I first read your post I thought how sad it is that our first reactions are - "Will people think I'm just making excuses? and How do I stick to the plan so that people don't think I'm just making it up to get out of something? Not just yours - We've all been there.

We've all had people doubt our motives, which is galling when we are concerned about a child and we feel pressured into meeting what are in some ways commitments that ought to be flexible if we can't help it. There are so many posts like this where people have to make the decision to act in their best interests, even if our motives are doubted and they are under pressure to conform. It just feels like such uphill work. The eye rolling and the look of disbelieve or the taking offense and grudge holding when you have to make these hard decisions. And the older I get, the more I think is just let them think whatever they want. Doubt me or don't doubt me, its their problem.

All I can conclude is that we are probably doubted most by the people who do make up excuses and they are judging us by themselves. Or they've been messed around too many times and so they don't trust anyone. Which is sad.

Your colleague recognised your honesty. She sounds like a keeper. Hope your Daughter gets better soon and that you manage to go and have a nice time and although you are new, sounds like you already have a friendly companion to attend it with.