Was DH being unreasonable to not say sorry

[Travelplans]

Very much a trivial one here but wanted to get others opinions.

Sitting opposite DH at the table wrapping presents this afternoon, my legs were stretched out a bit but nothing significantly more than my half of the table. DH then stretches his leg out and accidentally kicks my foot. It hurt but nothing that didn’t pass after a few seconds.

DH didn’t say sorry, but I know I would have apologised if the scenario was the opposite way round.

So what is your opinion:

IABU - DH didn’t need to apologise
IANBU - DH should have apologised

Well I'm British so would apologise if you kicked me

Your life must be really boring if this is causing you worry.

If your unhappy, tell him... simple

Love this 🤣

Even if you'd been stretched right to the far side of the table and I kicked you accidentally because you'd moved into "my" space, I would have apologised, and checked you were ok.

Did he not realise?

I mean unless your legs are so fluffy that they feel like air, it’s common courtesy to apologise even if you don’t think the person is hurt? It would be automatic for me.

Did he realise it was your foot and not e.g. a table leg? It's not always obvious. Did you make a noise?

Someone just barged into me on the tube and I apologised. Twat 😂

That's really strange. It's an automatic reaction to say sorry to someone you contact with, regardless of fault.

Yeah, he knew it was my leg, especially as I said ouch! I then told him the polite thing to do is say sorry but he just looked at me and said I was being dramatic and it didn’t hurt!

I mean, I sort of get where he's coming from, as you said, it is trivial in the scheme of things.

It's not a nice trait though, being unable to or to resent saying sorry. It doesn't cost him anything and doubling down just makes him look uncaring.

Okay, that is tatty. If you said ouch, it's the done thing to say sorry, not tell you it doesn't hurt!

Twatty

Yeah it’s not important in the grand scheme of things, no need to LTB. In bigger issues he will apologise if he is wrong but it’s these little things where he just doesn’t say sorry that annoys me.

I’d hate this too. But I think you need to stop saying sorry for things like that if that’s what he’s like

He should have apologised, surprised it wasn’t automatic, but it is not worth a thread about. Should this have had a light hearted disclaimer?

Perfectly accurate

What did he say though? Was he just silent? If it were me and DH said something like oh oops etc then I wouldn't really mind that. If he just regarded me impassively and said nothing... I'd kick him back 😆

Were you dramatic? If you got upset about him kicking you and were asking for an apology and making it a much bigger deal than it was, then I can see not apologizing. If you had just had a non dramatic, humour filled - ouch, thats my leg! moment and didn't ask for an apology - then it would be weird if he didn't say sorry just naturally as a response.

But since we don't really know how this moment went, it is hard to know. I would be annoyed if my husband told me to apologize over some very minor incident that he had overreacted to.

I might not have used he words light hearted but I did say it was trivial.

There were no dramatics, he stretched out and kicked my foot, I simply said ouch and moved my legs back, he said well your feet were all the way across the table, I said no they weren’t and the polite thing to do is to say sorry, he then told me I was being dramatic and it didn’t hurt.

It was a calm conversation, no dramatics. I just don’t agree with him not saying sorry and it happens all the time that I decided to see if it’s me being overly British.

it happens all the time that I decided to see if it’s me being overly British.

Or perhaps overly female. I have to make a conscious effort not to apologise all the time. "Dear Letting Agent, sorry for having to contact you yet again for this issue you still haven't fixed...!" "Hi Colleague, sorry to bother you with xyz that is actually your job..."