To feel depressed by 7 month olds constant screaming

[TwoBabas]

First off I will say I love my son more than anything and I would not change him for the world. I feel so guilty for feeling this way but Im just going to say it how it is.....

From about 12 weeks old (when they say it gets a bit 'easier') my son has been extremely hard work. He cries and moans and grunts and sounds unhappy from the minute he wakes up at 5am until he goes to bed. Rarely does he just babble away happily in the mornings, more he wakes up and screams and screams until you actually get up and take him downstairs. This feels like torture at 5am and it is honestly the loudest noise. It wakes our two year old and probably the neighbours. Me and my DH often end up bickering as we are frantically trying to find our dressing gowns/get him up quickly so as not to wake the toddler. Once he is downstairs he settles a bit. But he needs constant attention. He wants me or his dad within reaching distance at all times. He wants to sit on your knee but also wants to pull away at the same time.

He's a big strong lad and the constant holding whilst he tries to pull away is hurting my body. If you do try and leave him to it a bit (whilst still being close by but not reaching distance) he goes crazy and screams. It's the screaming that is really getting me down. Im worried his temperament is just going to be angry and sad and it breaks my heart for him but also stresses me out to no end. I feel very frustrated as I feel our home has a constant unhappy screaming wailing going on in the background and it has my nerves completely frazzled.

We have always found it hard to comfort him as he pushes you away whilst simultaneously wanting to be held. It's a nightmare and we are at our witt's end. I've given up thinking he will turn a corner now as Ive been thinking it for so long... 'once he sits up it will get easier' thats happened now and he is still fed up alot of the time. Perhaps crawling will be our saving grace but i dont want to think that and end up disappointed.

Gosh, I feel so guilty for writing this. He is my boy and I love him with all my heart but I can't help but feel that he is a very challenging baby.

His older sister was nothing like this so I feel unprepared and inexperienced. I just feel this simmering anger/depression with the constant crying. I would never ever hurt my son but I do feel annoyed with the situation at times.

Any of you had similar feelings?

My DS was almost exactly like this. His first year was torture if i’m honest, he was so grumpy and miserable. He had a personality transplant at about 14/15 months when he learnt to walk and started understanding everything we were saying and became ridiculously cheerful and still is now at 2.5. He’s still not easy in the fact he needs lots of parental interaction and regulation. No concept of quiet, independent play at all. But his speech is phenomenal and we’ve never really had anything approaching a tantrum from him. He’s genuinely an (exhausting) joy to be around. I hope you have the same outcome.

My DS is almost exactly the same, though I do get about 15 minutes of smiles in the morning before the screaming starts. And it is literally raging screaming. It was so much one day that he made himself hoarse. So I feel you OP! That relentless sound just gets to you deep inside When they inconsolably cry like that it is SO difficult, and you can’t really explain it to people who haven’t had a challenging baby. I don’t really have any advice, as I’m stuck in the thick of it, but I’m sure you’re an amazing mama and doing everything you can to make your little boy feel safe and loved through it all. Can you tag team with your DH at least sometimes to make sure you get a bit of space and respite from it? Sending you unmumsnetty hugs.

Google purple crying op. Unfortunately no solution to it but when we were in the midst of it it was nice to know others experienced this.
My son literally screamed from 1pm till around 3am everyday. Make sure you tag team to get sleep as that is what breaks you.
This too shall pass. (Ds doesn't scream all day and night anymore but that first year was hell on earth) xx

My eldest was like that. Found out when he was a bit older he has an intolerance. It does sounds like he is in pain. I’d be wondering about gastro issues. There is a weird idea some GPs have that babies just cry. In my experience with lots of babies, this isn’t true. There is a reason and there is a difference between crying when tired, hungry and constant crying.

I feel like you found my diary and copied it! Dc 2 was exactly like this. If it wasn’t for the fact they were my second I’d have thought it was my fault. It got steadily better as they started to walk and talk and now a lovely kid although still very emotional. But we never had a third. Good luck!