Page 2 | Stepmother is such a know it all

LoveCherryTree · 2022-12-14T20:41:32+00:00

AIBU to tell her how I feel? It’s actually my ex step mother but we’ve always got on really well, she’s always been a bit of a know it all, but recently it’s just ridiculous, everything my husband or I say she always has an answer or she says things like “I did think that” or “I told you that” or “I did wonder why you did that”. My husband had to go to London a few days ago and she’s said “oh I know that place well, I lived there, she told him he went the wrong way out of the station (he didn’t as he googled map it) but she was adamant he was wrong, she’s also a man hater and anything my kind husband does she always has to say something derogatory about it. I could go on for hours about all the things she says and does but I’ll be here all day. She’s always got some barbed comment to make which is always passive aggressive. I love her so much, but she’s driving me crazy, to the point where I actually dread seeing her. How do you delicately tell someone to stop being such a bloody know it all!!

AlisonDonut · 15/12/2022 20:19

LoveCherryTree · 15/12/2022 20:10

Jeez, what is with some of you people on Mumsnet! Why are you so mean? It’s so hard to explain the whole situation, but I assure you she wanted us there and we weren’t in her way at all. Have you ever heard the phrase “if you haven’t got anything nice to say, don’t say it at all”…….all I asked for was some advice of how not to hurt my stepmother, I just wanted to ask how to deal with it, I can’t quite believe some of the responses on this thread.
If I was your daughter asking for help, would you give her this advice? What’s wrong with you, you should be ashamed of yourselves!

Does she know you are on here slagging her off? You are the one who should be ashamed of herself.

Motnight · 15/12/2022 21:09

LoveCherryTree · 15/12/2022 20:10

Jeez, what is with some of you people on Mumsnet! Why are you so mean? It’s so hard to explain the whole situation, but I assure you she wanted us there and we weren’t in her way at all. Have you ever heard the phrase “if you haven’t got anything nice to say, don’t say it at all”…….all I asked for was some advice of how not to hurt my stepmother, I just wanted to ask how to deal with it, I can’t quite believe some of the responses on this thread.
If I was your daughter asking for help, would you give her this advice? What’s wrong with you, you should be ashamed of yourselves!

And yet you can slag your MIL off? Okay!

Motnight · 15/12/2022 21:10

LoveCherryTree · 15/12/2022 20:11

Yes, she was, for nearly 20’years, but no man is ever good enough

To be fair quite a lot of men really aren't good enough 😬

ChubbyMorticia · 15/12/2022 21:23

I think there are two issues here.

First, I’d ignore the know it all aspect as best I could. “Interesting.” is a good response.

The other issue, that of her snide comments and disrespect of your husband needs to be dealt with firmly. “Mom, that’s completely unacceptable. Do not disrespect my husband to me/in his own home. If you do it again, I’m leaving/you’ll need to leave.” There’s zero reason to tolerate her insulting your spouse.

Original poster

LoveCherryTree · 15/12/2022 21:24

She’s not my MIL! Catch up, and have you actually seen me call her names like bi*h or s*g……no! I’m not slagging her off, for gods sake, she is just one of those people who knows everything and it gets a bit tiresome. Can I ask why you’re even on here if you haven’t got anything constructive to say?

OP posts:

Stressedmum2017 · 15/12/2022 21:44

I have a relative like this who is a massive know it all. We used to be really close but I've had to take a huge step for my own sanity. I was on the verge of snapping and if I had obviously I would never have had a point and would be completely in the wrong. 🙄
She is an expert in every subject (but actually isn't at all) and no matter what happens between her and other people and how blatantly in the wrong she is she will twist it round to convince herself and anyone who will listen she is in the right.
Then there's the 2 facedness with everyone (so you know it's happening with you too) the snidey, passive aggressive digs. Ugh I don't know how I put up with her for so long. Feel like the wool has been well and truly pulled from my eyes and I really don't like what I see.

AlisonDonut · 16/12/2022 08:24

LoveCherryTree · 15/12/2022 21:24

She’s not my MIL! Catch up, and have you actually seen me call her names like bi*h or s*g……no! I’m not slagging her off, for gods sake, she is just one of those people who knows everything and it gets a bit tiresome. Can I ask why you’re even on here if you haven’t got anything constructive to say?

What's constructive about starting a thread disrespecting your step mother. If you can't see the problem here I fully empathise with her correcting you constantly. Must be exhausting for her.

Original poster

LoveCherryTree · 16/12/2022 08:36

Empathise, that doesn’t sound like something you could do! What is Mumsnet for, if not for advice? If I don’t tell you the complete story how would I get constructive advice, imagine I started a thread that said my stepmother is lovely, please help me! You, AlisonDonut, are rather tiresome and maybe if you don’t understand how to respond nicely (as I’m not sure I have “disrespected” you) then keep your opinions to yourself, let’s hope you never have a problem that needs advice, as I’m sure you’ve never said a bad word about anyone, have you?
Goodbye.

OP posts:

AlisonDonut · 16/12/2022 10:34

LoveCherryTree · 16/12/2022 08:36

Empathise, that doesn’t sound like something you could do! What is Mumsnet for, if not for advice? If I don’t tell you the complete story how would I get constructive advice, imagine I started a thread that said my stepmother is lovely, please help me! You, AlisonDonut, are rather tiresome and maybe if you don’t understand how to respond nicely (as I’m not sure I have “disrespected” you) then keep your opinions to yourself, let’s hope you never have a problem that needs advice, as I’m sure you’ve never said a bad word about anyone, have you?
Goodbye.

Yes I'm so tiresome pointing out that someone who has looked after you and funded you when you needed it deserves more than a slating on mumsnet.

This isn't your own private sounding board and I'm not the only one to point out how bad it is for you to take with one hand and slag someone off behind their back with the other.