Anyone else’s child suddenly miserable?

[MiserableDDPreviouslyHappy]

DD aged 7, Year 3.

Gone from a happy, always smiling child to miserable.

Started the school year fine. Seemed her usual self then around half term just changed.

She has some SN and an EHCP. Reviewed in school recently due to the change in behaviour but it’s not improved her mood.

School have said it’s not bad behaviour, she’s still polite, tries her hardest but she’s no longer her smiley happy self all the time, she will often sit in the classroom with a sad face or the TA for the class will have to take her outside for a few minutes as she’s crying – School have said they are nowhere near saying they can’t meet her needs as she’s still responding to intervention as per EHCP but she’s just miserable constantly. She's very sensitive and seems to cry at the smallest thing, like there not being any water in her water bottle. She’s the same at home, used to come home tired but happy now we just get whole nights of her crying and will suddenly cry at the drop of a hat over silly things like there being no bananas left in the fruit bowl.

She says she’s fine at school, has friends. She does Brownies and Brown Owls had a word as she’s changed there too, again still polite, still takes part but is just miserable all the time. BO said that DD told her the usual “I like school, nothing bad has happened, I love Brownies still, I just feel sad all the time” and BO doesn't think there's anything to worry about bar her being sad all the time.

For context she’s very very small height wise so I doubt it’s puberty starting but I could be wrong. Hoping it’s just the count down to Christmas and she’s back to herself after it. We’ve been to the doctors and they couldn’t find anything out of the ordinary wrong, she was prescribed some painkillers for a pain condition she has but it hasn’t improved her mood.

Anyone else’s child like this suddenly? I’m not worried as such as she’s not behaving badly, just crying a lot. Or does anyone have any idea what could be wrong?

Someone at school may have told her that father Christmas doesn't exist?

@MammaWeasel We talk about the cat all the time, she's been told the cat died and it's ok to be sad. But it might be bigger and she's worrying about others dying, especially after the messages over the last few years, I never thought of that.

I will ask about the cousin as well, it could be related to that too I never thought it could be something the cousins said.

Could you ask the school SENCO to do the zones of regulation activity with your DD and go through the entire day, from waking to sleeping and also laterally across relatives/friends/your cat? It's really helped us with pinpointing DD's anxiety issues that have suddenly appeared (suspected asd as well as anxiety).

For grief with children, the book Badger's Parting Gifts is really good.

Maybe she's had some self realisation that she's 'different' you don't say what SN she has but kids can have big emotions that they're too young to fully express. Perhaps some play therapy would help?

I hate to put this thought into your head but child on child abuse is quite common, are you sure the cousin hasn't done anything inappropriate when she's staying there?

Your poor girl! Could you maybe book an appointment with a gp (I know it's almost impossible) just yourself to discuss with them and see if they have any advice moving forwards?

DNiece used to get this way when she was overwhelmed/burnt out. She masks a lot (autistic) to deal with the social demands of school and fitting in with other girls. The getting upset over small things like the water bottle and bananas sounds exactly like how she used to be. She couldn’t articulate to us what exactly was bothering her because she didn’t really know except she just didn’t feel ok. She would usually start to pick up in the holidays with fewer demands, then it would be a gradual decline from the second half of term onwards. It got worse as the demands of school increased. We had to push back on things like homework expectations over the holidays because DN needed the time to re-regulate. If you notice this pattern, it might be something similar?