I really struggle to make conversation at work

[Baobuns]

It's a combination of being shy, quiet and introverted, I thought I'd have grown out of the shyness in my 30s but it's possibly even worse.
I just tense up, people must think I'm really odd. I can't do small talk, I mean I do a little bit but I don't like telling stories, and get shy with making jokes and things like that.
I just keep myself to myself. It's also partially an anxiety thing I believe, I know it doesn't matter if you aren't the most sociable but I do feel like there's something wrong with me.
I really do just tense up. I've considered remote working many times, but the sort of work I do doesn't allow for that. Anyone else get this?

Dr John Delony who is a fellow introvert and hater of small talk has some really good tactics on how to 'make friends' and get good at small talk (which is essential in building relationships)

He has 2 books but is also all over the podcast world, I'd recommend a listen or a read!

I'm the same. I'm in a fairly new team at work as well and they've worked together for years. They're all really nice but naturally talk to each other more. We have our Christmas lunch tomorrow. I hope it helps me get to talk to them a bit more, or it could go the complete opposite.
You have my sympathies. It's horrible.

Thanks everyone. I just feel like you're forced to socialise and be sociable at work whether you like it or not

I’m the same, it’s very hard

I've found that focusing on giving proper, fleshed-out answers to questions that come up in general small talk, rather than feeling any pressure to create/steer the conversation really helps.

If someone brings up the bad weather for example, even though I'm really tempted to just say "I know, terrible isn't it..." I'll keep going on that safe ground "I know, it's terrible isn't it? I couldn't believe it when I checked the thermostat and it was X degrees! I'm really glad I bought thermal leggings. How have you been keeping warm?" etc.

That way you're an active part of the office chat without having to worry about what exactly to talk about, and most topics come up over and over so practice easy to come by.

Is is an age-group thing, OP? I think it's very hard for youngsters who haven't had any experience of 'socialising' outside their peer-group when they start work. When you're young, I know people of even a few years' age difference can seem like aliens. If your family is sociable and either regularly host or go to social events it helps a bit. I remember being ordered to talk to elderly aunts or young cousins and it does mean you learn a few skills. Or if you've been part of a community group: church, am-dram, sport or hobby club etc, that helps.

This isn't very helpful - sorry, OP! It's just made me think about the number of tongue-tied young people I've met and I do think modern life confines young people to their exact peer-group far too long. In the past, the generations would have mixed much more and felt more at ease with each other.