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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To need a rant? Buying a dog for child’s birthday

40 replies

ralieghnc · 14/12/2022 11:50

7 years ago mum, naively, was spurned by a puppy farmer. You can look them up Kottage Kennels, though be warned, the pictures are horrible. Word locally in the dog community (DP has a standard poodle from a responsible breeder, and is involved with the community) is that he’s moved on from the Kottage Kennels brand and works from somewhere unknown, but a lot of the Pets4Homes listings in the area are apparently from him.

He’s likely part of a large betwork these days, using fake family homes as fronts. The front for my mums puppy was that it was apparently bred by two happy, healthy working Spaniel dogs on a farm. Turns out, the puppy farmer had borrowed a real farmhouse with land, had taken mum and pups there, and another male dog, and made it appear like they all lived there (for the sake of selling the pups), and not in a delapidated barn by the motorway. Her Spaniel puppy, (believed to be 8 weeks), died 5 days after coming home. It suddenly let out and agonising scream, had a fit, and dropped dead. It suffered. My mum had bought the puppy as a comfort after losing my dad, and having an incredibly tough time, and this incident left her absolutely traumatised.

She immediately rushed the dead puppy to a vet for answers. So many issues I can’t even list, but had a huge, swollen, painful looking belly from worms and a very excessive amount of eye discharge. It was also only 4 weeks old. My mum chose not to do autopsy.

On Sunday, on Facebook, a family friend posted a video of her kid receiving a puppy for their birthday. It’s an upsetting video. Puppy is in a box in the front garden (in these temperatures ffs!!!!), with paper over it, and they spend 5 minutes in their toasty living room playing a game with the kid (to guess the present) whilst the fucking dog freezes outside. Kid eventually clocks it’s a puppy, and runs outside screeching at the top of their lungs, yanks the pup out of the box, and then proceed to bicker with their siblings about holding it.

I was already incensed, but it gets worse. Later on they posted more pics and I recognise the distended belly as a worm belly, and it is no way an 8 week old pup. It’s a Sheepadoodle apparently.

I have messaged her, but she hasn’t seen it yet. I haven’t told her my true thoughts, because I expect I’d be blocked and not listened to, I’ve just said “His belly looks wormy” and framed it as friendly advice. I cannot believe the fucking stupidity. I don’t know for sure if it’s the same people my mum got her dog from but that doesn’t make a difference tbf. In 2016 I admit even I hadn’t heard of puppy farming, and my mum certainly hadn’t, but it’s 2022 now and there’s been lots of press on it and high profile incidents. There’s no excuse!

OP posts:
Hoppinggreen · 14/12/2022 11:53

They are fucking idiots and are probably going to have to spend lots of time and money on the puppy - unless it dies quite quickly.
Sounds like they are clueless anyway if they have bought that cross and given it to a child like that so there is no point in you telling them anything

ErrolTheDragon · 14/12/2022 12:01

YANBU
Rant away.

Does anyone know if there are current campaigns to try to crack down properly on 'puppy farmers', illegal i,porters and all complicit in this vile trade in misery?

ralieghnc · 14/12/2022 12:01

I wanted to rip in to her tbh, but then she wouldn’t listen. If I l list my concerns about pup’s health and frame it as if I want to give her friendly advice, maybe she’ll actually bloody listen.

If it is a sheepadoodle (and I think they’ve been had, tbh, by looking at pup) then it’s also the completely wrong sort of dog for them. They live in a small terrace, just a small front garden with no grass, and mum doesn’t drive (so can’t really take it out for proper, enriching excersise), and works full-time. If the poor thing survives it will be miserable.

OP posts:
Lastqueenofscotland2 · 14/12/2022 12:08

some people are just dense
I know someone who decided at work one day they wanted a dog, looked on gumtree on their lunch break and picked up a bichon puppy that evening… the next day they went to work for eight hours leaving the puppy locked in the front room, and was furious to discover it had shit and pissed all over her carpet.
The now adult dog is insanely reactive and resource guards food in a way I’ve never. Owner won’t get a behaviourist or indeed bother to train the dog as “she doesn’t like telling her off.”Confused
Its also absolutely not a bichon and is quite obviously some sort of terrier cross…

I could rant all day about shit like this. Puppy farming was very much something to look out for when we had dogs growing up before the age of the internet, and even now with the internet/SM it’s still relentless and people won’t be told. Just look at the endless threads in the dog house forum of people saying they want a cavadoodlechonchi or whatever, who is feeding this market… cause 99.9% is not done by good breeders.

Reugny · 14/12/2022 12:10

If it is a sheepadoodle

So they have a mongrel of 2 intelligent breeds?

If it survives it will destroy their home - not just shit on the carpet - and they will have to rehome it.

ralieghnc · 14/12/2022 12:11

It’s all word of mouth, but the Kottage Kennels guy that got my mum apparently does own a genuine farm with spaniels. The males are stud dogs, who are expensive to rent. The females aren’t bred because he needs them in full working order.

The puppy farm is entirely separate, and he’s been doing it for years. He’s registered as a legitimate business. Think he’s into XL bullies at the moment.

My mum is now wanting another dog, I have tried many times to push her into rescue but they have been unsure of her, as she lives in a maisonette and has on and off custody of my young niece. Mum is determined and if she wants to buy a puppy, I can’t stop her but I’m trying to do my due diligence. If I put my foot down completely and refuse to help she will do it herself and buy from god knows where.

She wants a cockapoo. She has unfortunately insisted on using Pets4Homes. We have found one litter that sticks out as MAYBE a bit more genuine. They’ve named the pups, there’s videos of those specific pups with mum and mum clearly post-partum, the breeder has posted many pictures of themselves, and have given a date and time in which the puppies will be going to the vet for final health check, and they have said which vet it is. If potential owner has put deposit down by then, they can watch the check through video call. Breeder is also setting up a Whatsapp group for owners to keep in touch once pups have gone home.

We are visiting this weekend, and I will be watching everything like a hawk.

OP posts:
MerryChristmasToYou · 14/12/2022 12:13

A relative has a Bordoodle (half sheepdog half poodle.
It 2 intelligent working breeds, and will not be happy without a lot of stimulation and exercise.

CocoonofDavid · 14/12/2022 12:15

This is not a new thing in the past few years.

We got our first puppy in 2007 and there was A LOT of info available online about how to sensibly and safely source a puppy, freely and easily available from the kennel club and breed clubs. About health testing etc, problems with the breed, suitability etc.

Im sorry but that information is easily and widely available to anyone who wants to look.

I’m not really sure how you can trash your neighbour for being stupid, whilst defending your mum- particularly as it seems she hasn’t learned from the first puppy?

ralieghnc · 14/12/2022 12:15

Sheepadoodles are absolutely brilliant dogs. Look up Bunny the dog on Youtube, more intelligent than most humans! I doubt it is a sheepadoodle, the colouring seems off, but pup is tiny 😥

How shameful, to own a dog literally more intelligent than you (in the case of woman in my OP) and yet you have the nerve to treat it like shit.

OP posts:
ralieghnc · 14/12/2022 12:17

@CocoonofDavid

I’m not defending her at all. I knew about irresponsible breeding back then but not about puppy farms and family homes being a fake front. She got the puppy on a whim.

Now she wants another one. I don’t agree with it, but she is an adult and can do what she likes and if I insist on helping I can at least do the due diligence. Otherwise she will do it alone again and potentially have the same happen.

OP posts:
ralieghnc · 14/12/2022 12:21

Honestly back then dogs weren’t part of my life at all due to my circumstances, so off the radar. So I genuinely only did learn research afterwards.

My mum is naive, the type who shares missing dog posts from Australia on Facebook, she takes everything at face value. She WILL go it alone if I don’t help. So I don’t agree with what she’s doing, but she’s doing it. And if she insists, I’m bloody well coming to viewings and grilling the breeders and insisting on mountains of paperwork.

OP posts:
Hopeyoursproutsarealreadyon · 14/12/2022 12:24

There is a df at our local school buys a Dog Of The Moment and breeds it. Sells the dpuppies. Swaps for a different breed bitch. Rinse and repeat. He knows better than to talk to me now... His dd speaks very fondly of the ddogs. What an experience of owing a pet....
What a cunt.

Lullabies2Paralyze · 14/12/2022 12:26

Definitely go with your mam to visit any potential pups, we got our dog off pets4homes and had no issues but I know there are plenty suspicious posts on there.

I would recommend making sure it’s had at least 8 week vaccinations (and proof) and ideally microchipped as then you know it will be old enough to leave the nest. Also if it’s KC registered it might be less likely to be puppy farmed as they have to pay to register the puppy and I don’t think a puppy farmer would do that.

I can understand your mams reluctance to get a rescue if she has young children in her house as you don’t know their past history and temperament around kids.

Testina · 14/12/2022 12:27

Your mum sounds worse!

ralieghnc · 14/12/2022 12:28

Oh believe me I’m under no illusions about mum, but at least I can interfere. I will be doing stringent checks.

OP posts:
PlaitBilledDuckyPuss · 14/12/2022 12:29

Call me cynical but I bet your friend's birthday pup is rehomed within a year Sad

EndlessRain1 · 14/12/2022 12:29

ralieghnc · 14/12/2022 12:11

It’s all word of mouth, but the Kottage Kennels guy that got my mum apparently does own a genuine farm with spaniels. The males are stud dogs, who are expensive to rent. The females aren’t bred because he needs them in full working order.

The puppy farm is entirely separate, and he’s been doing it for years. He’s registered as a legitimate business. Think he’s into XL bullies at the moment.

My mum is now wanting another dog, I have tried many times to push her into rescue but they have been unsure of her, as she lives in a maisonette and has on and off custody of my young niece. Mum is determined and if she wants to buy a puppy, I can’t stop her but I’m trying to do my due diligence. If I put my foot down completely and refuse to help she will do it herself and buy from god knows where.

She wants a cockapoo. She has unfortunately insisted on using Pets4Homes. We have found one litter that sticks out as MAYBE a bit more genuine. They’ve named the pups, there’s videos of those specific pups with mum and mum clearly post-partum, the breeder has posted many pictures of themselves, and have given a date and time in which the puppies will be going to the vet for final health check, and they have said which vet it is. If potential owner has put deposit down by then, they can watch the check through video call. Breeder is also setting up a Whatsapp group for owners to keep in touch once pups have gone home.

We are visiting this weekend, and I will be watching everything like a hawk.

I know this is not the topic of your post, but we got two dogs from Pets4Homes, and it was totally fine and legitimate. The second one in particular was from a lovely home environment, loads better socialised than the first one that was from a breeder. It's not all bad, but you have to be sensible of course.

ralieghnc · 14/12/2022 12:31

I was horrified on Pets4Homes the other day seeing a Frenchie/XL bully litter wtaf!!!! And the poor mother was the Frenchie who had to birth unnatural pups fathered by a much larger breed.

OP posts:
SirSniffsAlot · 14/12/2022 12:33

At this stage it's just wildful ignorance.

It's not that people don't know better. It's that they do not WANT to know because, if they did, they could not get their weird coloured, weird hybrid insta-puppy.

I used to give people who bought dogs like this the benefit of the doubt but I think I've now seen too much to.

It's not that they don't know. It's that they don't really care.

queenofthewild · 14/12/2022 12:36

Any breeder who genuinely cares about the well-being of their puppies would not plan a litter to be ready to go in time for Christmas.

Lastqueenofscotland2 · 14/12/2022 12:37

SirSniffsAlot · 14/12/2022 12:33

At this stage it's just wildful ignorance.

It's not that people don't know better. It's that they do not WANT to know because, if they did, they could not get their weird coloured, weird hybrid insta-puppy.

I used to give people who bought dogs like this the benefit of the doubt but I think I've now seen too much to.

It's not that they don't know. It's that they don't really care.

I also agree. I think people know if they went to a rescue or reputable breeder and said, I’ve got 2 kids under three, we all work full time and I’ve not considered what I’m going to do with the dog while we are at work, I’ve never owned a dog before etc they wouldn’t get a dog, so they go to a shitty backyard breeder

Mariposista · 14/12/2022 12:40

Gosh this is so so sad. Have just given my healthy, happy labrador an extra big cuddle. We did so much research before getting him.

Wexone · 14/12/2022 12:41

I would never ever go and buy a dog - There is no such thing as good breeder breeding dogs when hundreds and sometimes thousands are put down every week. Rescues, pounds and shelters are at crisis point. Dogs trust here in Ireland are doing trojan work on their puppy farming campaign. One shelter here in Ireland took in 56 puppies in one week. Do your research there are shelters that will home dogs to people. Another way to help out is Foster a dog with potential to adopt

itsthefinalcountdown1 · 14/12/2022 12:47

Your mum isn't so "traumatised" that she hasn't learned her lesson though, is she?

Puppy farming was widely known about in 2016. People just choose to be ignorant to it. Getting a 4 week old puppy handed to you and choosing to believe it's 8 weeks old? Stop giving these people your money.

FriedEggChocolate · 14/12/2022 12:49

@Wexone, certainly in the UK, rescues won't consider potential adopters with children right up to teen age. As much as shelters are at bursting point, families are going to look at "more profitable" routes to get a puppy if they won't be considered by resuces. It's generally because the rescues can't guarantee how the animal will react around children because they don't know its history.

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