To find it crazy that some people actually have a CLEAR mind?!

[onestepps]

I'm just finished following one of my therapy sessions for my anxiety disorder. I have explained the things I struggle with and how I feel as though I have a constant trail of worries in my mind 24-7. I don't feel like my brain ever actually STOPS! It's one thing after another.

Obviously I realise this isn't necessarily normal, but of course nobody really knows what is.

But I find it amazing to think that there are people out there that wake up, go about their day, and go home etc with absolutely no worries in their minds at ALL! This just sounds foreign to me, I would love to experience a day like that!!

My minds pretty clear most of the time. Obviously I do worry about major things sometimes- we had a very stressful house move at the beginning of the year and I did some very Intense stomach churning worrying over that. I dont seem to be able to sustain worrying for long though, my dad was diagnosed with cancer for the 4th time this year and after a day or two of physical pain level worrying it just kind of petered out. I could go about my daily life only thinking about it occasionally. Same with the bills rising, the same with Strep a (I have a toddler). I have a mini panic and then my brain sort of goes ' this is out of your control' and thinks of other things. I've never really been able to dwell on things, my cups always been half full. Maybe I am a bit of a sociopath 🤔

If there's anything I realise I'm worrying about, I ask myself : can I change the outcome?
Yes then I might think about it a bit more and work out how I can effect best outcome
NO - I ignore as no point wasting energy worrying.

It's of especial note that No is the usual answer. Hence I'm mostly worry free, which seems to irritate worriers 'It's all right for you.....'

I have a note book and write down a to do list. If I start thinking about something I write it down then I can stop thinking about it. I have small things like find a lunch box and big things like paint the shed. I check the book each day and can often cross things out. But really it just gets them out of my head.

I don't have a clear mind as such, but am able to write things down, use Google Keep (absolute godsend), reminders and put things to one side to deal with later enough to be able to get on with things in a mindful way. Yoga has helped immensely too.

You sound like me only 12 months ago OP.

I lived my day in a constant worry, constantly dreading bad news, my partner was going to leave me, I would get home and he would have some bad news or tell me I'd done something wrong. I'd worry about money, my job, my friends, how much houses/mortgages would cost in 10 years time, everything! I'm not sure what it was - paranoia/anxiety/depression? This was my life for as long as I'd known it. Everything was always crap, my life my partner everything.

I tried anti-depressants and therapy - wasn't for me but it's always worth exploring.

I'm not sure what changed in my life - maybe all I needed to do was make better life choices. Leave my partner, take control of my life? (I'm not saying this is the same for you). I'm not sure. But anyway.

Things just started getting better, I taught myself to find a positive in every negative thought I had. I left toxic friendships/relationships. Basically, I took back control of my life and things have never been better. I don't ignore negative thoughts or worries, because they can be real life threats. But I ALWAYS focus more on the what I can control, what the positives are and how, if the worst happens, I can change that outcome to a good one.

I've never been happier OP, you WILL get there. It is possible I promise! I still worry about stuff, that's normal and anyone who says they live their life with no worries is lying.

Please don't take my little story as how I feel your life is or that you are making poor choices, this was just the case for me. But I promise you, one day, you will find the happiness and peace you need/want.

I was going to ask if you'd experienced any trauma in your past OP. There's a strong correlation between trauma and hyper vigilance. As a PP said, your brain is constantly tracking your environment for danger, which is exhausting. Have a look at Deb Dana on poly vagal theory (tons on YouTube) and Pete Walker on emotional flashbacks www.pete-walker.com/13StepsManageFlashbacks.htm.

This can genuinely improve with therapy. Rewind and EMDR can also help to reduce the emotional charge you feel over your past traumatic experience. If your therapist doesn't offer either of these it might help to reduce your feelings of overwhelm to have a couple of sessions with someone who offers either of these treatments.

I wonder if the reasons you believe you can't get better is a self protective one. If you don't get better than you feel safer in a way because you will take fewer risks, but at the same time you won't be living your life freely and fully. Try this: thank the part of you that's been keeping you safe for so long since the trauma. But allow those parts to stand down a bit and allow you to assess the world as a bit less dangerous and that you have more resources now to deal with difficult situations than when you were a child. You can draw on adult strengths and get support from those around you. Good luck.

Every brain has a worry hole that is like a vacuum that must be filled. When a worry vacates the hole another is sucked straight in. Science

😂

Science has suggested we have around 6,000 thoughts per day. Whilst we can identify where some of them come from (generated by what we read/hear/watch/experience in the preceding moments) others are seemingly completely random. But thoughts are not facts, they are just suggestions from your subconscious and are constantly filtered by your childhood, your current emotional mood, your genetic make up and your environment.

As PP have said, questioning your thoughts for objectivity, reasonableness and likelihood is a really helpful exercise, as is writing them down - when you take them out of you head and onto paper they lose a lot of their power.

@Stunningscreamer

Try this: thank the part of you that's been keeping you safe for so long since the trauma. But allow those parts to stand down a bit and allow you to assess the world as a bit less dangerous and that you have more resources now to deal with difficult situations than when you were a child. You can draw on adult strengths and get support from those around you. Good luck.

This is excellent advice and exactly what happens during remedial hypnosis.

Saying “Well I just decide not to worry about things I can’t change.” is a bit like “I just choose to eat a healthy diet with small portion sizes and treats in moderation.” It’s a great way to live but the person struggling with anxiety or with their weight isn’t going to go “Aha, if only I’d thought of that.” and start living that way.

It sounds like OP is doing the right thing by getting professional help especially with past trauma.

I did (most of) the 8 week course in the Mark Williams mindfulness course and found it helpful. Mainly in reducing the feeling that I really ought to worry, and in particular that I should berate myself for being so stupid as to get in that situation in the first place. That if I tell myself off enough for being stupid maybe I can avoid forgetting things in future, that sort of thing. So I don’t always manage it but now I know that it’s ok to let go of negative thoughts if you can.

Simple meditation I think helps - it’s not about having an empty mind but seeing each thought as like a slide show of pictures. “There’s something I’m worried about” and letting that thought go rather than starting a long train of worry, then go back to focusing on breathing in and out, waiting for the next thought or worry to pop up and letting that one go in turn. I’m sure it doesn’t work for everyone but it did help me!

That should say ‘Mark Williams mindfulness book’ just to be clear.

I can't imagine it, but that's how my DH describes his own mind.

Must be wonderful!

Check for adhd/ocd/asd traits, as if you're ND, you benefit from different strategies.

Stop ruminating.

Cpsd too.

I think a lot of us has a mind like a hoarder, over flowing with crap.
I do a meditation everyday where I open a door of my mind and start throwing stuff out of the door into a big bonfire until the room is clear.

Sounds very much like an adhd brain. Mine never ever stops , at the moment there is a song on repeat in my mind , while I also think about all the things I need to do for Xmas, what I want done next year. Thinking about the cold , how I'm tired and where it hurts. My brain just flits between these thoughts and then random things will pop in. It's exhausting !

If your therapist is good you will get to that stage at some point. Good luck

My mind is mostly clear. Obviously I 'think' about work, family etc but not with worry. Just making plans or musing over things.

I also don't have a 'minds eye'. I can not see things in my mind, not even a picture of my son.

No idea if the two are connected.

I've followed some online tests. I'm not sure if they're legit or medically backed as such but thought the results are interesting.

Yes I have recently come to the conclusion that I had adhd
And my brain is like this, I just find different ways to cope with it

I am very well now but suffered with a breakdown in 2020 and was diagnosed with GAD. I remember the clearest thing to me that indicated I was getting better was the reduction in the noise of my thoughts. It’s exhausting how noisy an anxious mind is and as I usually experience a very peaceful, and clear head, I could really see the difference between the two.

A peaceful mind is the greatest gift and I thank god for it after what i experience when unwell those months.

Science has suggested we have around 6,000 thoughts per day.

When I saw that I thought "that can't be right. 6,000 an hour maybe." Seriously that is how it feels for me.

I don't think people are trying to say that the op can just turn her worries off, just answering the original question that do some people have clear minds. My answer is yes because I do seem to be able to switch my worries off quite easily. There was a really fascinating thread a month or 2 ago about how people visualise their own minds and thoughts that was really eye opening for me. People talking about having loads of thoughts simultaneously and tangled webs and mind diagrams etc going on. I dont have any of that, I just have one thought at a time! Obviously my mind wanders from one thing that leads on to another but its sequentially, not simultaneously! I can easily visualise thoughts and have an inner monologue but if I'm not currently thinking about something it's not on my mind at all.

Although most exercise helps, I find lifting weights by far the most useful. Heavy compound lifts etc. It's much harder for my mind to run astray when my muscles feel like leaden weights.