We have a 9 month old dd and I have 2 primary age dc from previous marriage. In the past 9 months I have done everything for the baby. All feeds, changes, baths and bedtimes. Dh will look after her alone but it tends only to be for things like if I have a doctors appointment or a commitment with one of my older dc. Oh and I can go out on an evening if I want to but I'll be the one who has settled her and put her to bed first and the one who gets in on time for her last feed. So I tend not to even bother.
I'm fed up. I'm knackered already and I'm due back at work in a few weeks so I have no idea how I will cope then. Dh and I both work from home (he earns roughly 4 x more than me) so I'd hoped I could maybe have dd at home for at least 2 of my contracted working days but I don't think I'll be able to juggle it. He's had no input in choosing her nursery sessions or even visiting the nursery.
I'm stressed and resentful and it's making me turn into a horrible person. I'm snappy and snide which causes arguments between us. Yet when I explain why I'm stressed nothing ever changes. I understand he works hard but I literally never get a break. A doctors appointment is the extent of my free time.
He's not totally useless around the house. He cooks and deals with the garden and the dog. Hell occasionally run the vacuum round but I do everything else - washing, cleaning, ironing, dusting and so on. Christmas is causing me a lot of stress as I'm shopping for everyone and thinking about all the food shopping while he just coasts along thinking of himself and doing fuck all. If he wants to pop to the shop he can. If he wants to go out with friends he doesn't have to think twice about it.
I don't know what to do. I've explained how I feel but nothing changes.