To say stuff it and not go!

31 replies

Hoheyho · 13/12/2022 06:57

Little bit of background I've always had a slightly complex relationship with my brother.
We were very close when we were younger but as time has gone on we have drifted apart and then a family fall out meant we didnt speak for a few years.
Due to the passing of our mum we patched things up. However he does always want things on his terms. If we meet up its local to his home or at his home ,never at mine or my other siblings. Basically we are expected to go there.
At xmas myself and sibling have tried to arrange to meet up with him . Hes asked us to his new house over an hours drive away in the middle of nowhere down some pretty ropey country roads.
Then said my older sibling and her son can stay but myself my husband and 1 DC (only 5)have to drive home. For further context my other sibling lives at the opposite end of the country so whilst shes here she stays with me.
I'm really quite hurt by this, we all have similar size homes(2 bed) but for one night I feel we could just of crashed in sitting room etc.
AIBU to think no stuff it I'm not putting myself out?

OP posts:

WomanStanleyWoman2 · 13/12/2022 08:38

Hoheyho · 13/12/2022 07:19

Just for clarity my other sibling is staying with me during Xmas, shes not going to brothers house from her home down the country. She will be gpi g to DB from mine and then coming back to mine. Nephew is 19.
I havent asked directly as I suppose I would just presume if people had come over at night to see me they would stay. Kind of the way our family has always worked.

Does he definitely know she’s staying with you though? You’ve said yourself you aren’t all that close - have you just assumed he knows (rather like you’ve assumed you were staying over)?

Olivia199 · 13/12/2022 08:39

NoDairyNoProblem · 13/12/2022 08:24

Does your brother perhaps want a night to catch up with other sister and nephew (like you are getting when they stay with you?).

It could be this OP? Perhaps because she lives so far away normally, he's wanting to take the extra time when the chance is there?

I understand that things have been tricky though and it's more than just this one night. Sounds like it's lots of little things like the fact he won't come to you etc.

Personally I wouldn't want to stay anywhere an hour away, especially without a bedroom and with a 5 year old. But can understand how it may have felt not being offered.

Hope you work something out that you're all happy with. Don't let it stress you out over your Christmas. X

Sartre · 13/12/2022 08:42

YABU. He does sound like a bit of a prick constantly wanting everyone to meet him on his terms, granted but this situation just sounds like you’re seeking animosity. He’s invited your other sibling to stay because they live at the other end of the country, you live one hour away which really isn’t far.

liverpoolgal82 · 05/11/2023 17:47

The sibling is staying with her so they are travelling together and only one is invited to stay. Presumably she’ll have to go pick her up next day too unless in two cars.
How are people not great at comprehension on this site?

Beautiful3 · 10/11/2023 07:29

This reply has been withdrawn

This message has been withdrawn at the poster's request

ApolloandDaphne · 10/11/2023 11:33

Zombie! This issue was last Christmas. I'm sure it was resolved at the time!

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