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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be annoyed at this comment

66 replies

Boobas · 12/12/2022 19:43

I was speaking to a MALE colleague today who said he wouldn’t date a woman past 33 as their looks decline. I was furious but I didn’t say anything, some of the most beautiful women I know are much older than that, he was early thirties himself, what a pig!

OP posts:

Theunamedcat · 13/12/2022 13:46

We had this at my last job apparently (I didn't do it on purpose I swear) I looked up from my job "CRITICALLY" looked him over from top to toe like I was examining him minutely rolled my eyes and carried on with my work 😳 he was saying those because he thought myself and another "elderly" (in his mind) lady were flirty with him my face removed any doubt of this and he was noticeably quieter for a few weeks when I was told this I said I would absolutely stop being kind to him I wouldn't want him to feel uncomfortable 🙄

He was OK as a man but definitely looking all his 50 something years

5128gap · 13/12/2022 14:00

FloydPepper · 13/12/2022 13:35

Where are all the posters who say that any personal preference is fine when it comes to dating? Do they only post on threads like the ones about mens heights?

No, still here! I'm a strong supporter of the right to have a preference in dating.
There is however a difference between stating a preference for an objective characteristic that a person either does or doesn't have such as height, and making sweeping statement about all women within a certain age group, which just makes the guy sound a bit stupid or like he doesn't actually know many women and what they look like.
All women over 33 have not 'lost their looks' but all men of 5' 6" are short.

WineCap · 13/12/2022 14:02

There's a reason he's still single...

Some people are deluded and shallow.

DrinkFeckArseBrick · 13/12/2022 14:10

Well he has just showed how shallow he is. What's he going to do, dump every ggirlfriend at 33 and date people younger and younger than him? Hopefully all the ladies he meets will have the same view of him as he ages

DrinkFeckArseBrick · 13/12/2022 14:10

MRSDoos · 13/12/2022 14:21

I think most of us have a preference and some will have an ideal age range for someone they choose to date.

However, saying you don’t want to date anyone over 33 due to looks declining just makes him sound a bit of a pig. I’m so curious if he would dump a woman on their 34th birthday or that he seems to think 34 onwards means your looks go! It’s still very young!

xyhere · 13/12/2022 14:22

Speaking as a 45yr old guy...everybody under the age of 35 basically looks like a child to me. Yeesh.

I suspect your dude's not all that bright. That sort of comment does seem to correlate with a lack of intelligence and self-awareness.

No sense getting annoyed at it, though, or giving it more of your brain time than it deserves - which is to say, one more reason not to bother talking to him unless unavoidable.

EndlessRain1 · 13/12/2022 14:23

Apaprently lots of men will only date younger women. Despite - obviously - aging themselves. I can't help to think it's a little creepy, like a power thing.

Coconutmangoprune · 13/12/2022 14:24

Yabu. Unless you fancy him yourself it shouldn’t really matter what he thinks.

xyhere · 13/12/2022 14:26

EndlessRain1 · 13/12/2022 14:23

Apaprently lots of men will only date younger women. Despite - obviously - aging themselves. I can't help to think it's a little creepy, like a power thing.

Equally, there are lots of younger women who'll only date older men, usually (from what I've seen) for the money or status.

Seems like a really poor strategy for long-term happiness from both sides to me ;)

phoenixrosehere · 13/12/2022 14:31

I’m curious on how he is going about this. Is he IDing every woman he chats up?

GriddleScone · 13/12/2022 14:50

Pretty ignorant comment, but if he's only 18 himself then I'd forgive it.

ThanksAntsThants · 13/12/2022 14:52

The only real response to someone who makes a comment like that is to laugh at them.

GerbilsForever24 · 13/12/2022 14:57

I'd have just laughed and told him to com back and talk to me when he's 50.

clpsmum · 13/12/2022 14:58

Boobas · 12/12/2022 19:46

He isn’t David Beckham himself! The cheek of it!

I hope you told him that

peachescariad · 13/12/2022 15:01

I'd have said 'phew! that's a huge relief for the over 33s but its the under 33s I feel most sorry for'

WetBandits · 13/12/2022 15:04

So, what’s Leonardo DiCaprio like to work with?

Pelo22 · 13/12/2022 15:10

Dacadactyl · 13/12/2022 13:36

While there are some lovely looking older women about, he is right...by 33 we do start to lose our looks slowly.

He probably wasn't wise to voice it, but I wouldn't give it a second thought (unless i fancied him). He's entitled to think what he wants.

Really? So every single woman from 33 exactly starts to "lose their looks?"
Honestly. Men are on dating apps cocky as hell with a beer belly, football shirt, living with their mum at 55 and looking to date a size 6 blonde no older than 25 and yet women are "I'm losing my looks because I'm 33"

Sartre · 13/12/2022 15:14

So even when he’s in his sixties or seventies, he thinks he’s incredible enough to still only pull women under 33? What an idiot.

Sartre · 13/12/2022 15:15

Also, 33 is such an oddly precise age. I’d understand 30 or 35 but 33?!

CustardySergeant · 13/12/2022 15:16

GriddleScone · 13/12/2022 14:50

Pretty ignorant comment, but if he's only 18 himself then I'd forgive it.

He's in his early thirties. It says that in the OP.

tabbysarerude · 13/12/2022 15:26

I'm 41 and probably out of his league but he can choose to date or not date who he chooses.

Rockingcloggs · 13/12/2022 15:40

This wouldn't bother me, it's just his opinion! I wouldn't find a man who couldn't grow a full beard or doesn't have a hairy chest attractive at all. It's just preference. So, to him an older woman isn't attractive to him. I'm sure he didn't say every woman over that age is pig ugly, just that he doesn't want to go out with one, which is entirely his prerogative.

MrsMyfanwy · 13/12/2022 15:54

I'd laugh and ask him how he felt about dating someone who's 32 and a half as he's obviously given this some serious thought

Herejustforthisone · 13/12/2022 15:54

Laugh at him. Report him to HR for inappropriate conversation in the work place. 🤷‍♀️

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