What happens in a divorce?

[tabbysarerude]

I split with my husband, the whole marriage was a mistake and a farce and I didn't really know what I was getting into. Now it's over and he's back with his parents and I'm in my home that's rented from the council with my child that isn't his.

So what needs to be done? He has commercial debts he's not paid coming to the house. Will he/can he try and get my house? He was paying the rent here trying to get me to stop working and move out.

I stayed and worked and kicked him out for his controlling behaviour.

Can I just forward the letters on or do I need to add these debts to my IVA that I want?

Neither of us have any assets at all, just debt!

There are a couple of apparently easy answers to that, but you will need proper legal advice. Someone who can see/understand the details of your circumstances.

The length of marriage, precise nature of those debts etc, will all make a difference. And nobody on MN can give you exact info.

Start calling some solicitors, see if any in your area have both the expertise and maybe a free / reduced price introductory session.

Oh, and whose name is on the lease? Did you have a/ the house in your name prior to marrying him? Call the council and ask for their advice on that too

I'm sorry OP

So what needs to be done?
What have you done so far? Have you spoken to a solicitor?

He has commercial debts he's not paid coming to the house.
Return to sender with "not at this address" on them. If they continue for six weeks from now, open one from each sender, phone them, say he's no longer at the address, reseal and return to sender. If that continues, get the address of the sender and send a letter stating he is not at the address and that no one at the address is liable for the debt. State any further communication to your address will be considered harassment. It's unlikely to go beyond the phone call.

Will he/can he try and get my house?
Is he on the tenancy? Are you?

Can I just forward the letters on or do I need to add these debts to my IVA that I want?
Don't forward them, return them to sender.

Thanks. No, I won't be engaging a solicitor as I'm living hand to mouth on Universal Credit.

The council home is mine, my name, assured tenancy. He's not on the lease nor the tenancy at all.

Okay I will do with the debts.

I don't want anything from him. The entire thing was a mistake.

I meant to take advantage of a free/cheap one off session to ask about the commercial debts.

But if those debts are purely commercial and you never signed anything to do with loans, any aspect of the business, you should be able to ignore them. Note - should!

Your home is safe from him if he isn't on the lease.

So that leaves you with sorting the divorce itself. If you think he will agree you could start looking at a Clean Break divorce. There are numerous companies offering to do it for a price. Their websites can be useful. But I've just helped BIL through his and it is relatively easy and fairly cheap. It might be worthwhile, possible, to save the fees while waiting for any time to elapse.

The sense of having some control might be helpful to you.

Thank you.

He can't take your home because it's not actually yours - it's a bit like how he can't take your job. You have it but you don't own it.

I know that really but it's nice to hear. I catastrophise.