Do you ever ask your parents to lend you money?

[Shesobsessedwithgrinch]

I live abroad and have mainly done everything myself my whole life.
Parents have given money in the past for birthdays, Christmas etc
We have a huge electricity bill and the washing machine has decided to die. Would you ask your parents for a loan, I’m easily able to pay them some back each month. I just feel so ashamed and awful asking to lend it. I know plenty of people who have money from their parents fairly regularly, I just find it so hard, would I be being unreasonable to ask them for some as a loan?

I've asked in the past. Mostly just for £20or so the day before pay day. Yesterday I had to ask for £100. I'm out of work, so nothing going into the bank account, but do have cash, so will pay it back in full when I see them today. Although my dad actually owes me more than 100 for a present for my mum 🤷🏼‍♀️

I would probably ask for cash or new washing machine as an early Christmas/Birthday gift from them, rather than the money.

I've never asked my parents for money since I moved out at 22 but I'd like to think if I was in desperate need they would lend me as much as they could. We've never asked DH's parents for money either but they are far more likely to insist on gifting us money to pay towards something. It's a huge part of how they show their love. Refusing would offend them, even if sometimes it annoys me.

I'd like to think that when my DC are grown should they need a loan here and there and we are in the position to help we will. I hope to always be able to help them in whatever way they need

I hope my children, whatever age, could always ask me for help if they needed it. I'd much rather they asked me than get into debt. If I have it then they can have it.

Of course they are you parents. You'll always be their child.

I've got grown up children. They know that, if possible, I will always help. They very rarely ask (and are reluctant when they do) but know that my help comes without obligation and certainly without a lecture on fecklessness! If you know that your parents can afford to lend money then by all means ask.

I've told my 2 aged 20 and 22 that if they need money, just ask. I remember having to go through awful payday lenders if anything broke when I was their age... huge APR, and a feeling of desperation. My parents were unable to help due to poverty.

If I have money they are welcome to use it.

No and I wouldn’t ask unless I was desperate. My brother borrowed thousands from them and my mum was worried sick but felt she couldn’t say no as he was made redundant with two young children. She used to cry over it as she knew she’d never get it back and it was my dad’s retirement lump sum it was coming out of.

There is no way I would ask my boss at work.

I would ask my parents (and did 3 months ago, but that's the first time in 40 years). @

Yes if desperate I’m fortunate that I have savings a overdraft or credit card I could use first but if I didn’t then yes they’d be happy to help as they know I’d only ask if desperate. You sound very proud op but if you need help please ask .

This - I never understand the attitude on Mumsnet that you shouldn’t ask your parents for help. I’m only too happy to help when needed.

Quoted wrong post 😄

I've always got appliances from somewhere like the Very/Argos were I could buy now/pay later. I have borrowed and lent when relatives/me have needed cash to tide over/put on a prepayment meter.

One of mine has recently become very very wealthy. I have a loan from the bank, a small credit card bill and a maxed overdraft. The parent doesnt know and I feel sick asking them for anything. The other parent is very poor but helps out and I do the same for them. It's a horrible position to be in. If I was in the rich parent's position I would have given some as a gift without being asked. I cant understand their thinking, but neither do I want to join the long line of people in their life that they cant trust as theyre only after money.

Yes, and I've leant them money. In our family there's a kind of travelling house deposit, that grows a bit with each loan - started at 7k 20 years ago, last person who had use of it it was about 35k. They'll be able to pay that back over a few years, and that'll sit against their mortgage, and when someone needs to move, it'll be there to give a boost/rate reduction/whatever.

My parents used to in the past, if they had it to hand. I do the same for my daughter if necessary. I'm lucky enough to be able to and I can't take it with me when I go, so I don't require it back.

It will vary between families. Only you know if it’s an option with yours.

I’ve only one parent left and he is a pensioner with a tiny private pension and in ill health. Despite my very average 24k salary I end up helping him.

On the other hand I’ve friends whose parents have spare cash to give them money or treat them regularly.

I've never asked and wouldn't ask. On the whole I was far better off they they were and our childhood was pretty poor. When I got a job I was paying them £100 a month in the early 80's until I left home.

I do not think asking is unreasonable, as long as you know your parents are not struggling financially. My parents have lent me money in the past, small amounts, which I paid back over a few months. I probably wouldn't ask now. But that is only because I have savings to dip into, and failing that, I would just get a personal loan if I were desperate. I don't particularly like borrowing money or lending people money because it can cause problems. My sister is an example. She has borrowed quite a few times from my parents and then conveniently forgets to pay it back. They are too polite to ask for it.

All my children have left home and support themselves. There have been times when they have asked for a loan and I am more than happy to help them out.
They always pay me back.
I would rather they came to me than anyone else.

If you can't find the money elsewhere ask, I would want my dc too. I've been lucky enough to not have to ask and parents have on occasion gifted money.

Is this not why we have parents, to lean on them for support whether it be financial or emotional. I hate and feel sad that people feel deterred from asking for help when they have parents that are able to help.

If they can’t or are not willing to that is different. It also should not be deduced to not being a fully functioning independent adult which often asking for help is deduced to.

Thankfully I haven't had to ask but I could definitely ask if needed. Even if I am broke I just do with what I have.

I know one of my siblings does ask every few years and it is usually a fairly large amount. They used to let him away with it or forget it but the last time he borrowed they wrote up an agreement for repayment every month and it was signed by all. I don't think he has asked since but has definitely hinted. I think this was because they realised that he was the only one doing this and didn't think it was fair on the rest of us.

I would NEVER ask my boss for money. I would find it deeply inappropriate and unprofessional if anyone in my team asked me for money. I think YAVBU to expect your DH to do this.

I would ask my parents though, yes.

I did a couple of times in my very early 20s. I've fortunately been in a decent financial position since then and never needed to borrow money but if I did my parents would definitely help out if they were able.