Since we had our little one my husband has started to “mention” sex not all the time but when he’s thinking he would like to have sex he will mention it several times that day.
eg yesterday he mentioned having sex 4/5 times. I find it off putting as I feel a bit like I’m being nagged into it or it’s being added to my mental to do list rather than happening more naturally. The first time he mentioned I thought oh ok maybe that would be nice but then it is randomly dropped into to conversation on a few other occasions when I am just getting on with my day. Then when we actually went to bed before anything could happen naturally he said “so shall we have sex” and I snapped that maybe he could try a kiss or a cuddle rather than just continually mentioning it and then expecting it to happen. Like I feel like it is actually quite low effort - he mentions it and then expects it to happen…
Anyway he is now really hurt that I snapped at him and I feel like a bitch but also feel like instead of him actually being physically affectionate with me he just mentions it and expects the magic to happen. Find it really quite off putting for this to be continually mentioned throughout the day.
AIBU? I think I might be a bit as we obviously need to communicate about sex so why shouldn’t he tell me he’s up for it sort of thing?! I don’t want him to have to edit himself with me but I also need him to know this isn’t a turn on for me!
By way of context he’s a very enthusiastic sort of person which sometimes I find too much. For example one of the first arguments we had was because he droned on and on about how much he’d enjoyed our first mini break together and I get to the point where I think why are you saying this so much are you trying to convince yourself??!! This makes me sound like a bitch and I think he just doesn’t get at all what I find so annoying about continually mentioning something.
also by way of context im Sure he would really like more sex - it’s not been as frequent as it used to be since we had our DD