How would you feel?

32 replies

Ireallydontknowwhatsgoingon · 12/12/2022 00:46

How would you feel if the man you are with told you he has booked a holiday with his daughter and his ex (daughters mum). All going together for his daughters birthday next year? He told me he wants to show his daughter that they still get on his

OP posts:

SunshineAndFizz · 12/12/2022 03:41

It's one thing to do joint parents evening together. But a full on holiday? Nah. You should be there too.

ImustLearn2Cook · 12/12/2022 03:52

If you have been together for over a year and the children know you then of course you should be included in the holiday.

If it’s a new relationship then no you shouldn’t expect to be included yet.

If it’s a new relationship then this is the time to consider what you really want in a relationship and to figure out if what you want, what he wants are compatible.

Are going in the same direction? Are you on the same page with expectations for your relationship? If not, move on.

Shoxfordian · 12/12/2022 05:33

I would assume he wanted to get back with her if he wants to play happy families like that - wouldn’t be ok with me

HelllBaby · 12/12/2022 07:56

ImustLearn2Cook · 12/12/2022 03:03

It is a form of co parenting. My ex and I have taken our daughter on holiday together and it wasn’t about us wanting to get back together. Nor did we. It was about giving our daughter that family experience of a family holiday which she very much wanted.

That is how we choose to parent.

If separated parents can put their differences aside to be able to get along and co parent their children that is really beneficial for the children.

If you feel uncomfortable about their co parenting arrangements then this isn’t the relationship for you. You deserve to be with someone you are compatible with and so does he.

Did either/both of you have new partners at that point?

Original poster

Ireallydontknowwhatsgoingon · 12/12/2022 07:56

Thank you to everyone who has replied.

It does seem to me like he wants to play happy families and I do agree it would be confusing for their child.

He said he wants to do more things together with just the 3 of him. He said he is planning these things for their child’s sake.so it’s not just the holiday, it is other things he is planning too. We have been together just over a year now

OP posts:

HelllBaby · 12/12/2022 07:57

Sorry but I'd leave him. There's no chance that's a normal thing to do with your ex. He's basically just showing his child they are still together.

Shoxfordian · 12/12/2022 08:05

I wouldn’t be ok with that - he should be looking to do a few things with you and his child to introduce you as his partner- he doesn’t seem very committed to your relationship

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