I have an uncle who visited once when I was a young child and who I have met once as teenager and twice as an adult at my Dad’s house. When I saw him as an adult he was rude, arrogant and condescending to me, my Dad, my husband and to my 2 primary aged kids. He has never married and has no kids but is well educated.
Since my Dad died my only contact is sending a Christmas card every year. His only contact has been to ring me once or twice a year and after a little while the conversation gets around to his latest ‘money making idea’. He says that I would be stupid if I didn’t invest in it or he asks for money to invest himself. I have always declined and explained that I believed it was a scam. Once, my son googled the ‘investment’ as we were talking and found plenty of reports that it was a scam. My uncle hung up on us.
Next phone call my uncle says he has sold his house for £400K ‘to a man down the pub’ and is now renting. A year later and he has lost ALL his money to the investment scam. He is moving house to a shared house paid for by housing benefit. He asks for deposit money which I duly transfer to the housing agent as I feel really sorry for him.
A year later he rings up 3 weeks before Christmas and says he is being evicted from his shared flat and can he come and live with us. We are fortunate to have an annex which is already rented out but we feel we have to say yes ‘as he is family’. We pay to relocate him in January when he is evicted. Housing benefit pays rent to us. He pays electricity. We pay his gas, water and internet. He is 89 and fit mentally and physically. I take him to medical appointments as I have a car, sort out computer and admin. problems, take out his bins etc. etc. but don’t engage socially as he is still rude and arrogant. My husband is supportive of putting a roof over his head but won’t speak to him or let him in our part of the house. He has no other relatives as my brother lives overseas. He hasn’t made any friends locally but seems pretty happy on his own.
This year is our first Christmas with him. We don’t normally celebrate Christmas in a big way and neither of our adult children will be home. We have a friend staying and plan to dog walk, cook a simple meal and watch TV. I have not invited my uncle.
AIBU?
I do feel guilty and some friends think I am being mean.